"I have to move on!" Myra takes a deep breath, hoping that the pain and tears choking her throat would be subtle with the words.
Finally gathering courage, she gets up and looks around the place, which suddenly appears more like a stranger's messy apartment.
The dirty clothes covered the floor, a bunch of used tissues pooled at her feet. She somehow walks towards the kitchen, ignoring all the mess surrounding her, only to meet more.
All the dishes were in the clutter in the basin. The decision of not buying a dishwasher was now becoming Myra's worst nightmare. All because she wanted to do it on her own and save money. So much for that. Her subconscious mocks her.
Still, she walks back towards her bedroom, once again passing by everything only to stop in front of the mirror. The girl looking back at her doesn't look an inch like her, the messy black hair that looks like as if some electricity went through them, the over-sized white t-shirt that she wore, is now covered with all kinds of unidentified stains, and the big bags under her eyes with tears smudged cheeks made her heart more ache.
Her knees felt weak, making her fall down with a bang. Tears started falling again, following the same pathway on her cheeks. She wished for the pain that was bursting inside her chest could subdue, but the memories flashing in her mind whenever she closed her eyes made her crumble more and more.
She screamed to herself, "I hate you! I will not give you the power to hurt me more. No matter how hard it becomes for me, I will move on and never look back." She hoped that the affirmations she was saying would give her strength because the aching heart wasn't doing any good for her. After sighing and wiping the tears, she finally stands up from the floor. First, she tries to find a hair tie to tame the beast.
After many pulls of the comb and hair fall, she puts it into a messy bun. Gazing around one last time, she takes a breath starts clearing up her mess.
She begins from the used tissue papers, then moves onto the dirty laundry, and at the end, the dirty utensils. After two hours, the place she used to call home slowly returns.
A small smile finally gives color to her tear-stained cheek. The maroon rug that got hidden beneath the bundle of clothes on the floor now looked back at her.
Even though the laundry was still left, tiredness started taking a toll on her. Huffing, she sat back on the couch, which also got hidden beneath the dirty laundry. All this hard work deserved a little gloating. So while she was sitting down, a sense of achievement filled her.
Ring, ring
Her ringtone blares through the quiet apartment. She searched for her phone, which somehow was under the bed. She doesn't have an idea herself of how that got it there. She answers the call, but it disconnects. Cleaning the phone screen first because of the different stains smudged on it, and then unlocks it.
The shocking revelation on the phone screen caused her to frown. There were thirty missed calls and eighty messages in total. Few of them were from her work, and the rest were from Siena, her best friend. The scariest for her was the latter.
The brunette journalist was a humble person and looked harmless, but only Myra knew that she was a force on her own and that you aren't supposed to reckon.
"Where the fuck are you?" The straightforward question greets her.
Even though it was a long-distance call from London, it felt as if she was here sitting right to her. It was better that Siena wasn't here to see her like this because then it would have been her standing with the broomstick and Myra's face.
"A little quieter, Ena. I'm already suffering from a headache," she replies, but she knows it is of no use.
"Good because apparently, you've been giving me headaches for weeks now. Why the hell did you not pick up my call? I feel like a stupid person, searching where was my best friend had just disappeared to?" She hears Siena inhaling and exhaling a deep breath in anger after the speech.
Even though she gets on Myra's nerves, she is the only one to whom she can talk. There was no one apart from her in this lonely life of hers. "I'm sorry, Ena, it's just that....I....broke up with Austin," a new batch of tears start falling as the words echo out loud in the empty apartment.
"What? When did this happen? Are you alright?" Siena could not believe what she was hearing right now but somehow knew that this would happen someday.
It's not that the renowned architect was the wrong person or anything even after being six years older than Myra, he took great care of her, but their opposite personalities and lifestyle always made differences among them. Also, their constant breakups. Whew, it was a wonder they stayed this long thought, Siena.
"Don't worry, he's going to come back," She states confidently.
"He won't come back this time, Ena," Myra harshly states while crying.
"Why? He always came back before. I know for sure that he'll come back," Siena tries to reason with her, but Myra knows the truth.
"He won't because this time I was the one who ended it.", Myra states with a loud sigh.
Siena shakes her head at the phone, 'stupid emotional fool,' mentally curses her best friend. "Then why are you crying?"
Myra takes a deep breath and hoarsely replies, "I know that it was for good, but I can't help but miss him, Ena."
"Myra, be strong. Please", Siena regretted not being there for her friend, 'why does she have to be so far away?'
"Okay, okay. Just stop crying first, for God's sake", she feels her tear falling, but she tries to calm herself for Myra's sake.
"I can't. It hurts Ena..."
"Myra, you have to stop crying, babe. I'm not there with you," Siena's words were of no use as she could still hear Myra sulking on the other side.
"Myra, tell me, why did you break up with him?" She asks her softly.
"Be...because of the....constant fights....and he always says that I stay with my friends too much," Myra starts remembering the constant bicker they used to have even on small things. They had different opinions on everything.
"Then why do you want him back?" Hearing Siena says this made sense to her, now slowly the tears stopped, and she took one deep breath normalizing it.
"I don't know...."
"See! Then why are you crying? Did he even call you in these two weeks?" Myra looks back at her phone. Even though she heard her ringtone continuously ringing, she did not have the strength to answer it, but today she found out the calls and messages were from Siena and her office. There was no call or messages from him. If he wanted to get back with you, he would've done that by now. But there was nothing left. The words ignited the anger inside her.
"You're right, Ena!" she spats and wipes her face.
"Yes, I know I'm right. Now tell me, what about your work? Because I'm sure if you didn't have the time to answer my calls, then there is no way you would have gone to the office."
"I....I....yes I didn't," She knew she couldn't lie to Siena.
"Myra..."
"Look, I honestly don't know," She scrunches her nose.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Siena raises her eyebrow.
"I don't know means...I have not answered their calls. So..."
"Myra Esther Lane, either you get your shit together, or I promise I will come there personally to kick your ass," Siena's threatening voice gives goosebumps to her because she knows either she follows her or she will come there and do what she said.
"Fine, I get it," she raises her hand mentally.
"Oh, you better do as I say, or I..."
"Alright, alright, Ena. Calm down." She huffs, hearing her so-called 'best friend' laughing like a villain from a movie. Sometimes she regrets calling her, but then thinks about all those times Siena has been there for her when her parents didn't. She couldn't be more thankful.
"You bet I am! Okay, bye, unlike you, some people have work. Call me after you call your office."
"Bye," the call ends. A part of Myra wanted to sleep the tiredness off, but she knew that if she didn't go to her office, Siena would get mad, and the phone call would turn into a parent-teacher meeting.