I got into the car and sat quietly. I looked out of the window while we were making our way out of the parking space.
I kept thinking of Edison's mood swings and Jefferson's words. I just do not know if I should believe Jefferson and try to see Edison in a different light? Or do I just deal with him like this so as not to let him pass my defenses.
No! I resolutely told myself. I will not let him get through me.
"Hey, Jeff! Do you guys want to hang out with me this weekend?" I suddenly asked. A part of me wants to make up for my not so subtle attempt to avoid Edison earlier. I just realize that I was a little bit rude. He paid for the meal and I started sprouting nonsense just to avoid being in the same space as him.
"Sure. I got nothing planned this weekend." Jeff readily agreed.
"I can't. Enjoy yourselves." came Edison's curt response.
This short and curt response made me bow my head in regret. I should quite being impulsive. I rarely make new friends and here I am trying to discard one whom I just met today.
Come to think of it, Edison and me knew each other in less than 24 hours but we have managed to make each other warm, uncomfortable, hurt and angry. Wow! Talk about whirlwind of emotions. No wonder we always ended up arguing. I guess its not one sided. I also manage to draw out the worse in him. This thought actually made me smile.
I can feel someone's gaze on me. When I looked up, I saw Edison actually looking at me through the rear view mirror. I smiled at him but he angrily looked away.
Did I do something wrong again? Mind boggler, that is what Edison is. He was designed and created especially to boggle and confuse the minds of others.
***Edison's thoughts***
Look at her. So happy knowing that she can spend her day alone with Jefferson.
Why is she so dense? I just wanted for her to keep on inviting me. I got nothing planned this weekend too. What the heck Edison, you dug your own grave man.
I could have just said yes to relieve everyone of misery but before I knew it I said no. It would have been great to spend time with her. Especially at her place.
I will get to know her more once I see where and how she lives.
***Jefferson's thoughts***
I wonder why Ed said no. He got nothing planned this weekend. I know he wants to spend time with her.
With the way that he is behaving, he has major attraction for Helena. Not that I blame him. The girl is truly beautiful in an understated and quiet way.
Something in her just draw me in. And whenever I look at her, I feel like I have seen her face way before I met her. That always happens when she smiles. Her eyes would crinkle at the corner and her lips would bow up. Warmth is written all over her face when she smiles and makes the person seeing her smile feel that warmth too.
I also felt that I know her with the way she stared and fought with Ericka. That quiet and subtle intelligence. She made use of words that can be perceived as innocent and harmless but when you really look at it, it has sarcasm and ridicule written all over it.
Both the warmth and subtle intelligence also felt familiar. Not just her face but her mannerisms too. I really don't know why I would feel this way.
"Ahmmm, Helena?" I called out to her. "I'm sorry but I can't make it this weekend too. Something came up that I have to attend to. I'm really sorry." I said while looking at Edison. I can see his face clearing while Helena's face becoming lonely.
Damn it. Why do I have to be at the middle? I do not like making Edison feel all the more confused but I also do not like the sadness written on Helena's face when I told her I can't make it.
Edison better sort his feeling out fast so that I don't have to keep rejecting Helena whenever she wants to hang out with us.
***Helena's thoughts***
I admit I got disappointed hearing that Edison can't make it but when Jefferson said that he can't too made me really lonely.
Well, I guess its too early for our friendship to invite them over. I just wanted to repay them with a meal.
"It's okay Jeff. I will just make use of the weekend to settle things so that I will not have to be hassled once I start working." I said in a nonchalant way.
I said it in a manner telling him that its okay and its not a big deal because I can see him looking at me worriedly. That's the last thing that I want from both of them.
For them to feel obligated to look after me. I have had that before. And it burdened someone until that someone got nothing to give. He left me then. No heads up. No fights leading to that day. Just went through that day like any normal day. Him kissing me on the lips before heading to work.
But the man that walked out of the door earlier that day did not come home. Nor did he come home a day after that. He was not answering my calls. I did not realize that a week has passed since he did not return. If it had not been for Bry, I would have kept waiting.
That is the reason why I made a promise to myself. I will no longer depend on someone so much to the point that it would make them leave. I will not make them fell that they are obligated to be with me.
I do not want to feel that pain and humiliation ever again.