"Face stealing bitch!" Washington mutters in anger to himself.
"Mr. Washington?" The Boat Terran pokes Washington
"WHAT!?" Washington twisted toward the Boat Terran with visible anger.
"We're at our destination, sir." The Boat Terran announces emotionlessly. "Is something wrong, sir?"
"Nothing." Washington gets up. "Go fuck yourself."
"Have a lovely evening, Mr. Washington." The Boat Terran sarcastically states with a bow. "Mina bless Fix, you magnificent bastard."
Washington holds up his middle finger toward the Boat Terran as he gets off the boat, a disrespectful notion toward old world beliefs and Terran culture. Washington storms into the port and walks past the Fixian receptionist.
"Wait," The Receptionist vocally stops Washington. "Weren't you going to leave by plane?"
"I... forgot something." Washington glares at the Receptionist.
"Understandable," The Receptionist smiles. "have a great-"
Washington throws a chair into the roof of the port. Before the staff could do anything, He summoned a beam of light (I guess, multiple small lights) that summoned a confused man who had a spear.
Washington walks away from the port as he hears the oncoming chaos. As this happens, he gets a call on his radio.
"Whoever this is, please use the suit radio." Washington remarks.
"It's London." She states passive-aggressively over the radio. "I just noticed that you're heading the wrong way. Are you deserting?"
"No, you dense cunt!" Washington exclaims into the radio. "SOMEONE stole my voice and manipulated my troop. If anyone manipulates Miami, it's gonna be me!"
"Boo-fucking-hoo" London retaliates. "Some troll is fucking with you, now get back to the FUCKING PLANE!"
"I know you stole my voice." Washington grasps his radio firmly. "I'm taking the long path. Wanna know why? Wa-wanna know why, big dick?"
"Tell me, cuckold." London demands.
"Because you and your hoe can both go fuck youselves." Washington claims.
"You're being irrational, mate." London's tone shifts. "We do not have time for petty inside conflicts."
"And I don't have time for your bullshit!" Washington shouts into his radio.
"I'm not going to babysit you." London claims. "If you're gonna be a little stupid fucking orphaned bastard about this job, go ahead. You have until the end of the year."
"I-" Washington studders. "I'm going to fucking kill you and use your heart for a fine soup. Count your days, whore, because once I kill that irrelevant shit up north, your skin will be used as an ass towel."
"And I hope you have a lovely day." London says before hanging up.
Washington crushes his radio and it bursts into flames. After looking at the burning device, Washington begins to power walk toward an empty field, heading up north.
Washington walks with a clenched fist. There is a nearby village he's heading to across the grass field. He starts to think about burning it down to release some of his rage in a healthy way, but then he hears something.
The grass field is empty. It's local Sklegg population has either been killed by traveling adventures or had been moved to nearby farms, making the field perfect for smooth traveling... and fights.
Washington hears something far behind him. It sounds like repeated taps on the grassy terrain that gets louder and louder.
Washington knows what's about to happen, he isn't stupid. He waits and waits as the sound gets louder. Until finally, He reaches out his arm and feels someone's neck land into his hand.
Washington looks at his catch and sees someone he recognizes. They are a man with his eyeballs having different sizes. He seems to be pissed and he's wearing the troop level GATE battle suit, specifically the Fredonian regiment variety.
"Look at me, New York." Washington brings the attacker close to his face. "You're an idiot."
Washington headbutts New York, sending him flying across the field. Washington breaks out into a speedy sprint before a strong gust of unnatural wind pushes him back. Suddenly, someone else shouts toward him at a distance.
"HOWDY!" A woman in armor similar to New York calls out to Washington.
Washington turns toward her before New York gets back up and slams him in the back of the head with a stick. The stick breaks on impact and Washington tosses New York into the ground and gets pummeled repeatedly. As Washington beats him, New York's armor gets extremely damaged and he can't pull up his helmet.
Washington picks up the beaten man and turns to the other attacker, who was trying to use the beating as a distraction to sneak up on him.
"You dropped something, Richmond." Washington dangles New York.
"I'm ready for ya!" Richmond clutches a piston on her side.
Washington tosses New York into the air and grabs him again, this time by the neck. Washington charges into Richmond. She fires a couple rounds into Washington, some hitting New York. Seeing that her bullets didn't work, she taps the side of his pistol and tosses it toward Washington before jumping out of the way.
The gun sticks to New York's leg and Washington jump stops. Washington tosses New York toward Richmond as she turns into a muddy figure and sinks into the grass. Washington ignores her and gets back to beating up New York, who was taking a breath.
Washington slams New York's face into the grass and drags him painfully in it. New York gets some mud on his face as he tries to grab some whilst his face is being absolutely destroyed.
Washington lifts up New York again and gives him a strong left hook. "Got anything to say, retard?" Washington holds New York up directly into his face.
"HIT IT, RICHY" New York shouts before smothering Washington's face with mud.
Washington goes in for another head, but the mud on his own and New York's face turns into cotton and explodes, covering the two in this cotton that happens to stick on the metal they use for their armor.
Washington gets disoriented by this and drops New York.
New York coughs up some blood. "MOTHER FUCKER!" He coughs to himself. He gets up and punches Washington to the ground.
Richmond pops up out of the grass. She held Washington down into the grass as New York kicked him repeatedly.
"WAIT!" Washington shouts.
"Hold on." Richmond lets go of Washington. "You surrender?"
Washington grabs Richmond's heel and rips off her foot. He punches the ground, launching himself into the sky. He tosses the foot at Richmond's face at a rapid speed, knocking her across the field.
New York looks up at Washington as he soars back to the ground and slams New York's face into the ground with the force of a falling semi truck.
Richmond stands in the background, watching New York get absolutely destroyed. She looks at her foot and knows what to do.
"NY," Richmond calls out. "Fall back."
New York can't respond, because he's currently screaming as he's having his good eye pried out of his head by Washington's bare hands.
"Shit..." Richmond says to herself as she just watches this unfold. "Uh... OH! I got a... call from... Moscow. Bye."
Richmond sinks into the ground as Washington raises the pried-out eye of New York in his hand.
"Ha." Washington pants as he grabs New York again. "That's two now. I'm done here."
"Fuck you." New York says in a tired, angry voice. "Everyone either hates you or loves you, but that doesn't matter. I'm sure the other dickwads that London sends will kill you. If not them, then someone else will. I don't care, I just know that I will take my role as Washington once again."
"You lost me at 'Everyone hates you'." Washington yawns. "Shut up and get out of my sight."
Washington tosses New York into the air and punches him, sending him flying toward the southern coast. Washington takes a breath and then pulls up his suit's radio system, which is still working. He calls up Paris.
"Mr. Washin- Colombia." Paris answers. "I heard about your argument with Ms London, sounds bad. But-"
"New York." Washington bluntly says.
"You- you beat them?" Paris states in shock. "I-I MEAN what about him?"
"If you're gonna send someone to try and kill me," Washington whispers. "Send your own lackeys."
"Uh...." Paris mutters. "Shi-"
The call ends. Washington's a lot less angry now. Only because he's just tired and he's about to make it to the nearby village. Washington does know one this about this village, it has a brewery in the village. As he arrives, he sees a sign for the name of the village. It says "Gopper City".
Washington heads into the city and after making a couple of turns, he runs into the place he's been looking for. Tap's Winery and Brewery or just Tap's. Tap's entrance doesn't have a door, but a doorhole with an annoyed woman standing in front of it.
"Payment." The woman blandly demands as Washington walks toward the entrance.
"I just realized." Washington taps the middle of his armor, turning it into a more casual outfit. By casual, I meant a light brown tunic and tan pants. "I know the magnificent armor may not be recognized by villagers like you, but I am a capital of GATE. The Southern Division? Does the name Washington ring a bell?"
"I know you." The Guard realises. "Now payment."
"What?" Washington's pride gets smashed.
"Tap makes the drinks with brewery magic on the spot." The Guard explains. "We have none in storage. It's our anti-thievery policy. Payment, now."
"That explains nothing." Washington adds.
"If you love anarchy so much," The Guard debates. "Then you should know that your rank means jackshit outside of your hipocrasy group."
Washington grabs the Guard. "Taking payments is technically fascist." He whispers.
"First of all, that's BS." The Guard unemotionally claims. "Second of all, if you hurt me or Tap, then you'll have to say goodbye to the chance of getting a drink. You have no power here."
Washington lets go of her. "Dammit!" He shouts at himself. "Fine! But I'll beat the life out of you if you use fiat."
"Fiat is useless." The Guard confirms. "You should know that, stupid. We take trade here."
"Okay..." Washington grumbles to himself. "Be right back."
"And by the way." The Guard adds as Washington starts to pace. "Your pride is gonna cost you extra."
"Are you accepting sexual favors?" Washington casually asks.
"Nah." The Guard nonchalantly answers. "I prefer something actually useful."
"Okay prick!" Washington resumes to pace for a bit. "How about summons?"
"No." The Guard begins to get impatient. "USE. FUL."
Washington looks at his wrist as a small piece of his armor covers it. After a minute, he sticks his arm out and a bunch of wrapped chocolate bars fall from his arm. This happens for about fifteen seconds before Washington taps his wrist again to stop it.
"This is a tenth of the tenth of the seized chocolate we took from the Cocoa United group." Washington explains. "They mainly consisted of trolls and loved chocolate. I WAS going to have all of this to myself, but I wouldn't likely be able to finish it all anyway."
"That'll do." The guard smirks. She walks out of the way of the door.
Washington leans into the ear of the guard. "You're going on the wanted list, fucko." He whispers.
Washington walks into the brewery as the guard ignores his threat and starts to pick up the chocolate bars.
Washington approaches the only bar counter in the brewery. A single man is standing behind it, Washington assumes this is Tap.
"Heyyyyyy." Washington does finger guns toward the bartender before trying to remember how to speak words. "Tap...?"
"Yeh-" The bartender says before cutting himself off. "Wait, how do you not remember me?"
"I just haven't seen you in a while, man." Washington leans on the counter. "What's up with the security?"
"Oh yeah." Tap glances at the guard. "Tailor over there makes sure I meet my bottom line. I split 20% of our profits with 'er."
"I don't like it." Washington states, thinking he's entitled to his opinion.
"That doesn't matter." Tap looks through different cups as he says this. "So, what'll it be?"
"What do you got?" Washington requests.
"If we're going off of what you had last time," Tap scratches his chin. "You'd probably like a 'Cartone's Delight'."
"Beer would be fine." Washington stops leaning on the counter.
"Okay!" Tap smiles as he heads into a room behind the counter. Washington tries to follow him into the room, but Tap flicks some strange, bright purple liquid at him. It stings.
While he waits, Washington takes a look around the brewery. He doesn't notice too much out of the ordinary, just some people drinking and chatting. That is until he notices a redheaded elf staring at him and then quickly looking away. He recognizes the elf from somewhere, but can't put his finger on it.
"Oh by the way," Tap interrupts Washington's train of thought. "I wasn't preparing anythang, I just needed to take a piss."
"You... washed your hands?" Washington turns back toward Tap with a bit of anger. "Right?"
"Sure!" Tap giggles. "Alright, let me get out some more cups."
Tap reaches underneath the bar and pulls out a massive tankard. He puts his arm over the tankard and beer pours from his hand for a solid 20 seconds.
"So," Tap takes a breath. "Is that good for you?"
"Yeah!" Washington puffs out his chest whilst seeming a bit confused.
"It's what you had last time." Tap clarifies. "And the time before that, and the time before that, and the time-"
"Okay!" Washington almost slams his fist into the counter before stopping himself. "Just give me the freaking drink!"
"Right at yeah." Tap laughs as he sets down the tankard. "Enjoy!"
Washington grabs the tankard while staring at Tap.
"I'm not in the market." Tap stares back. "At least, not for you."
Washington gets up with the drink and looks back at the table where the elf was earlier. Turns out, she's still there and is trying to cover her face. Washington approaches the table.
Everyone at the table stares at him.
"Yo" One of four other people at the table turns toward Washington with a somewhat relaxed attitude. He's wearing shorts with palm trees on it, a short sleeved shirt with the same design, and he has a pink bun.
Washington stares at him for a couple seconds, accepting him to say something else.
"OH!" The elf exclaims, breaking the silence and putting her hand in her pocket. "I'm... getting a call. I'll be right back."
"A call?" Washington questions her.
"Yeah!" The elf moves her hand inside her pocket to imitate the ringing of a phone. "I've got a call on my... phone."
"I doubt you have a phone." Washington squints. "Most people use radios."
"Wait." Another person at the table objects and raises a phone in the air. He seems pretty young and has bright red eyes and hair. "I have a phone. Who doesn't?"
Washington lets out a sign as the elf speed walks away, signaling to the group to stay quiet. Washington looks back at the rest of the group.
"Who was that?" He asks in a less threatening manner.
"To be honest," The pink haired man flicks his wrist. "I have no idea. Do you, Ped?" He turns toward the guy with the phone.
"Nope." Ped responds. "Ella?"
A woman in metal armor looks up from supposably napping. "What?" She yawns. "Who?" She looks at Washington. "Him? Uh.... I think I've seen him before."
"I mean the-" Ped tries to explain before he gives up. "Nevermind. Hue?"
A somewhat short man (or child, Washington can't tell) looks around the table in a bit of confusion and then just smiles.
"Oh yeah." Ped scratches the back of his head.
"What's wrong with Hue?" Washington starts to get interested in the group.
"Nothing." The pink haired man stretches. "Hue's just only a couple days old, so he's still learning what words mean."
"A couple days?" Washington asks in a more confused tone.
"He's an enthnic Maestro." The pink haired man continues. "Hue only knows gibberish and is currently being instructed how to do... maestro... things. I don't know, I'm just a gunner."
"You left out the bit about us taking him here without the robot's permission." Ella laughs to herself. "She's gonna be so pissed!"
The whole group laughs, except for Hue, who just tries to imitate the group in an awkward laugh.
"Speaking of Non-Fixians," Ped slowly stops laughing. "Did you know I'm partially a dwarf?"
"Man, shut up." Ella elbows Ped. "Your shortened name sounds dangerously close to Pedo. Nobody cares about your 2% Dwarf heritage."
"Wait," Washington butts in. "You're a dwarf? You don't have any facial hair and you don't seem dwarf-sized."
"First of all," Ped points at Ella. "Ped Tag is a traditional dwarvish name... I think- PLUS, I'm 15, so suck it!" He points at Washington. "Second of all, I barely have any dwarven blood, but that doesn't mean I'm not partially dwarven."
"You always brag about your 2%," The pink haired man rolls his eyes. "But I think I know more blacksmithery magic than you. You're barely dwarvish."
Ped tries to think up something, but then just looks down with a shameful look.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry." The pink haired man straightens his back. "I forgot to introduce myself to this wonderful man. I'm Wanderer and I'm a gunner." He pulls out a pistol with way too many attachments on it.
"I didn't either." Washington stretches. "My name is... uh..." He tries to think up a fake name.
"Washington." Ella casually answers. "I'm pretty sure I took a hit from GATE, I've seen your face."
"Who did you take the hit from?" Washington asks, somewhat caught off guard.
"Some eyepatch wearing dud." Ella yawns. "She spoke somewhat ominously."
"The only person I can think of that fit's that description is Kiev." Washington thinks out loud.
"Then I guess it's her." She declares in a somewhat agitated voice. "Anyway, continue Wanderer."
"Thanks." Wanderer moves his more relaxed gaze toward Washington. "So Washington, you're part of GATE, yeah?"
"I'm guessing you also took a hit from us." Washington starts to piece together what Wanderer's gonna say."
"No, actually." Wanderer smiles. "Oidia early was jus-"
"HEY!" Ped pops in, sounding a bit nervous. "Ella, y-you didn't introduce yourself yet. Go ahead."
Ella sighs. "I guess he's right." She rolls her eyes. "I'm Ella, but only my pals call me that. So from now on, you're gonna call me The Eel."
Washington thinks for a second. "Oh!" He realized what she said. "You fucker!"
"Heh." Ella laughs in response. "By the way, if you want someone to cease existing, we can negotiate the price later."
"If I want someone dead," Washington menacingly leans toward Ella. "I would do it myself."
"Then why the fuck are you here?" She whispers back aggressively.
Washington gets out of Ella's face and looks at Wanderer.
"And I'm guessing you're a Pinker?" Washington guesses Wanderer's background.
Wanderer widens his eyes at the question. "Uh..." He scratches his head. "Why would you want to know?"
"So you are an Ovit!" Washington points at Wanderer.
"Obit!" Hue smiles.
"I guess." Wanderer gives off a nervous giggle. "But... I don't like to associate with them."
"The funny thing is," Washington takes the elf's seat. "I have a 'Wanderer' and an 'Eel' on my watch list and they look just like you two.
Washington holds up an image of a group of wanted signs from his office.
"You can't tell if that's me!" Ella points at the image with her name on it.
"It says here you have a lackey called 'The Dwarf' who's barely a dwarf." Washington gives her a smug look.
The table is silent for about a minute before the elf (Washington assumes their name is "Oidia") peaks over a corner. She squints her eyes and then walks away again.
"I don't think she'll be coming back anytime soon." Ella breaks the silence.
"Dammit." Washington slams one of his fists onto the table. "I'll have to take care of her later."
"Heh," Ped nervously laughs. "Wh-what do you mean by 'get rid of'?"
"Mind your own business kid." Washington says right before he starts to chug his tankard of beer. "I haven't even drank any of this yet. Let me tell ya, I didn't come to a brewery just to leave sober."
"Ella said I'm not allowed to drink here." Ped states. "Something about places like these having poison or some shite like that."
"Assassins," Ella corrects him as she takes a sip from a plastic cup in front of her. "Yeah, you haven't gone through the part of puberty where you get your poison immunity."
"Ella," Wanderer disappointedly turns to her. "You really think he's gonna fall-"
"Shut up." Ella whispers loudly toward him. "Just don't say a word about it."
Wanderer relaxes himself once again and offers Hue a drink. Hue picks up the drink, takes a sip of it, and spits it out almost immediately.
The group drinks for the first half of the night, Washington drank the most out of the group by a longshot. Washington gets up and stumbles toward a green Mer with pink hair carrying a barrel the size of themself. The others back at the table thought about stopping him, but then they realized they don't really care.
"Hey gurl." Washington stumbles toward the Mer.
"Hmm?" The Mer tries to look at Washington. "Oh, sorry but I'm a bit busy."
"Heh." Washington stares at the nearby wall and awkwardly tries to lean on it. "I'm sure you are. Soooo, whatcha up to?"
The Mer puts down the barrel and then wipes they're forehead. "I was just taking this back to the kingdom."
Washington's expression changes almost instantly. "You might be very sexy, but you're still a facist!" He shouts at the poor Mer.
"Uh... thanks." The Mer awkwardly smiles. "But I've gotta go."
"No no no!" Washington quickly signals the Mer to come closer.
"Wait a minute." Wanderer squints at the scene from back at the table. "I think that's my half-sibling he's flirting with."
"Half-sibling?" Ella judges his wording.
"I don't know what they identify as." Wanderer shrugs. "I'd hate to be wrong."
"Shut up." Ella playfully sneers at him.
"No really." The Mer responds in a more serious tone. "The shore is pretty far away and I have to carry this huge ass barrel all the way there or rent some sort of vehicle. I don't have anything useful on me and-"
"You're pretty..." Washington pauses a bit to think of what he's gonna say. "Pretty."
"Sir," The Mer grabs their own forearm. "I think you've been mistaken."
"Waddu you mean, darling?" Washington struggles to wink.
"I don't like being called pretty." The Mer explains. "I'm a male. You know, with a penis and stuff."
The two of them awkwardly stare at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time before Washington begins to talk again.
"I'm sure you are." He says somewhat sarcastically before laughing to himself.
"Y-yeah." The Mer slowly inches away.
"Anyways babe," Washington slowly stops laughing. "What's your name?"
"Atlantis-" The Mer answers before stopping himself. "You know what? I'm just gonna leave."
Washington puts his arm on Atlantis's shoulder. "No." He simply says with a smirk.
Atlantis smirks back before a jetstream of water comes out of his hands, sending Washington through a wall.
"Idiotic, Fixian, gas breather." Atlantis smack talks to Washington from inside the brewery as Washington tries to get back up. "If you even think about approaching our kingdom, I'll... I'll... I'll give you lung cancer.... In your face!"
Washington gives up on getting up as Atlantis picks up the barrel from before and walks out of the brewery.
"Fucking boar!" Atlantis shouts as he slowly waddles away with the barrel.
After a couple of minutes, Washington stands up straight and brushes himself off. He giggles to himself. The giggles turn to maniacal laughter.
"Alright." He says to himself as he rolls his head and stops laughing. "That's enough fun for now."
Suddenly, Washington hears someone screaming in a far off alley. He's curious and decides to head toward the alleyway.
Once he makes it there, he finds a group of men, one holding a sack. Whatever is in the sack is struggling and is trying to make some sort of noise, but the noise is too muffled for Washington to tell what exactly is inside the sack.
"Gree-" Washington quickly greets himself before changing his greeting. "Hello, gentlemen."
They men stare at him.
"He's a drunk." The man with the sack announces to the others. He has short hair black hair. "Don't pay him any mind."
"Wait a fucknd." Washington notices the men's matching outfits. "Are y'all fashs?"
"A what?" Another man in the group asks.
"A FASCIST!?" Washington shouts at him. "ARE YA'LL MOTHERSHITTEN FASCIST?!"
"We're mobsters." The man with the sack explains. "We kinda just-"
Before he could finish, a shadowy figure jumps off the roof of one of the buildings that make up the alley. The figure lands on one of the mobsters and slams their head into the floor, absolutely shattering their skull.
The figure lunges off the body of the now dead mobster and cuts open the stomachs of multiple other mobsters. Washington just sits and watches.
After massacring about nine other mobsters, the figure leaps toward Washington. He promptly grabs them by one of their legs and slams them into the ground. The figure instantly breaks his grasp and continues their killing spree.
After some more mobsters die, the one with the sack starts to run away. The figure gets on all fours and rushes down the mobster, yanking them to the ground.
The mobster tries to punch the figure, but the figure crushes his fist, breaking it.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" The mobster shouts at the figure.
The figure stopped moving, giving Washington a clear sight of them. They seem to be a woman with short pink hair, cat ears, and claws.
"Karmic justice." The pink-haired woman spits in the mobsters face. "You're gonna pay for what you did, pedophile."
The mobster identifies the woman right before she claws off his face. After his face had been sloppily removed, she forced her claws into his eye sockets, crushing his nasal bones. Finally, she stomps him out for about half a minute.
As the pink-haired killer sits down and takes a breath, Washington applauds her. She turns around at the sound.
"Ab-sol-lutly BRUTAL!" He cheers. "And a conjointist, I assume?"
"Sorry," She apologises to... herself? "I guess I forgot one."
"You think I was with those fascist?" Washington taps the side of his head, equipping his GATE armor. "Either way, I could go for a good fight."
"You aren't...?" She turns around in confusion. "I gwess I made a mistwake."
"Why are you talking like that?" Washington gets visually more upset through his armor.
"I've awawys tawlked like dis." She responds in a fake confusion. "Owo."
"Sureeee..." Washington stances into a fighting pose. "So do you wanna fight or not."
"Oh noes!" She trumbles. "How couwld I evewr fwight anyone?"
"Shut up." Washington cracks his knuckles. "I just saw you brutalize those fascist earlier."
The pink-haired killer forces a smile. "I gwuess I hawve nwo choice, unu." She imitates Washington's pose. "Or... mwaybe I mwight have swome help?"
The two stand there awkwardly in silence.
"Mwaybe swomeone with bwirds?" The killer resumes.
"Fuck this." Washington drops the pose and rushes her.
"Fine." A voice from the back of the alley groans. A person with a gray cloth covering their hair. "I've got all I wanted. You can leave now, Cate."
The killer (Washington assumes she's named Cate) blows raspberries at Washington as she walks out the alley. Washington turns back toward the other person.
"The fuck?" Washington scratches his head. "I think I might be a bit more tipsy than I thought I was."
"What do you mean?" The figure walks toward Washington. "I'm Blackmail, by the way. You can stop calling me 'The Figure'."
"Wait a minute," Washington squints at the man. "Reno? YOU'RE BLACKMAIL?!"
"Umm, no." Blackmail touches his face to make sure that his eye mask is on.
"Stop touching my face." Washington shoves Blackmail.
"I didn't..." Blackmail turns away. "We need to talk. Follow me."
"Okay." Washington looks at the ground. "BY THE WAY, I was exaggerating my drunkenness. I'm not a lightweight."
"Sure, pal." Blackmail sarcastically responds.