"I had given thought to this before, but had never actually gone through with it." I said to Lucy on the phone.
"Girl, you just have to go for it! You'll never know how he'll react unless you try it!" She says.
I sigh. She was right, but how am I just supposed to go kiss my best friend out of nowhere?
Ben invited me over to his house today to watch a TV series we both love. Ever since he invited me, the idea of figuring out a way to tell him that I love him has constantly been popping into my head.
"Addie? Are you still there?" I hear Lucy say.
"Yeah, I am. I'm just worried that I-"
"Can't go through with it?" She interrupts me. "Of course you can, have faith in yourself girl. You know I do."
"Yeah, I know you do." I sigh again.
"Anyway, let me know if you do indeed go through with it. I have to run! The kid I'm babysitting is about to fall in the toilet!"
I laugh. "Ok Lucy, thank you. Bye!"
The call ends and I put my phone down. I get up from my bedside and open my closet. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘐 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘧 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥?
My face gets hot at the thought. I quickly grab a gray tight-knit sweater, some gray baggy sweatpants to match, and my white bulky shoes.
I grab my phone again to text Ben, but he's already texted me.
Ben: 𝙝𝙚𝙮, 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙪 𝙪𝙥 𝙞𝙛 𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩
Me: 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚
Ben: 𝙤𝙠, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚?
Me: 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮
Ben: 𝙖𝙡𝙧 𝙞𝙢 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙮 ;)
Not sure what to do for the next 10 minutes, I get up to go get some of me and Ben's favorite snacks. I stack them neatly in a big bag and wait again.
"Guess I could go grab us some drinks too." I say aloud.
My favorite soda is Mug Root Beer and Ben's is Mountain Dew. I stick a few of each in a mini cooler along with two ice cream containers, and set the cooler next to the bag.
Suddenly I hear a car pull in my driveway. I grab the cooler and bag and head to the door.
*𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨*
'What good timing,' I think as I open the door. Standing a foot above me is Ben. I look up smiling.
"Hey Addie," he says smiling back, and then looks down. "What's all this?"
"I figured I could bring some snacks over for the binge watching and stuff."
"Oh okay, well let me carry some." He says, taking the bag out of my left hand.
His touch makes me quiver a bit. 'How in the world am I gonna do this if I can't even process his hand brushing mine?' I think for a moment.
We head down the steps of my house towards his car, putting the food and drink in the back.
We get in. The drive isn't long but a thousand thoughts start flooding in my brain as Ben drives.
"How's everything?" He says.
My thoughts interrupted, the words startle me. "F-fine!" I say.
He laughs. "Are you sure? You seem to have something on your mind."
"No, really I'm good." I take a deep breath. "Just been stressed a little lately."
"With school? Same. Midterms are next week and I am stressed. out. It's a good thing you're coming over so that I can relax a little."
Yes, because that's totally what I've been stressing out about. Not sure what to say I go, "Yeah, haha me too."
Finally, we pull into his driveway. I get out and try to grab the snack bag but Ben appears behind me.
"Nuh uh uh, I get the snack bag and you get the rolly-cooler-thing. This snack bag looks pretty heavy."
I lean over to grab the cooler on the seat across from us and struggle to get back out.
"Need help?" Ben says chuckling as I stumble but manage to stand straight.
"No thanks, I got it." I say.
We walk up to the front door and get inside. I set the cooler next to the table in the living room but Ben heads to his bedroom.
"Where're you going?" I ask confused. "The TV's over here."
Ben turns and laughs. "I actually just got a TV for my bedroom. I thought it'd be more comfortable than on the couch."
I look at the couch. He was right, it's a brand new couch but its looks kind of stiff.
"Okay." I say while grabbing the cooler and heading for his bedroom.
As always, it's very neat and clean with everything in its place. I chuckle.
"What?" Ben places the snacks in front of his bed and smiles at me. "I usually keep it this clean."
"Mk buddy, for suuure." I say smiling and place the cooler next to the snacks.
He pats the bed and I plop down next to him. Ben turns on the TV and starts up our favorite show.
About an halfway through an episode, Lucy texts me.
Lucy: 𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙡𝙡𝙡?
I sigh. I had almost forgot about trying to kiss Ben.
Me: 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩
Lucy: 𝙊𝙝 𝙘𝙢𝙤𝙣, 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙢!
Me: 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮
Lucy: 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙤𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡
I sigh again. Ben looks at me and I look at him.
"What's wrong?" he says. We're both laying on our stomachs facing the TV. He scoots closer.
"Nothing, I just-" I realize how close he is to my face. My face gets hot and I bury my head in the bed covers.
I feel a hand lightly touch my back. I look up again. Now Ben is even closer to me. He starts stroking my back, wraps his arm around my waist, and then pulls me over on top of him.
Soon I feel two arms fully hugging my torso, my head laying over his shoulder.
"Didn't think you were this stressed." He says into my ear.
Lucy's words ring in my ears. 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳...
I pick my head up and look him in the eyes for a long moment.
I close mine.
I let my lips fall to his. As soon as they touch, I flinch and stop kissing him.
I quickly cover my face with my hands. A muffled "sorry" comes from my mouth.
I feel Ben's arms slip away from my waist. 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰, 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸.
But then, a tight grip grabs hold of my wrists and tears them away from my face.
Ben is looking me dead in the eyes, and he's... smiling?
I give him a confused look, my face still burning red. He laughs.
"Ahahaha, you're so adorable," he says and kisses me.
My eyes wide open, and his closed, I freeze. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨?
His lips slowly lift off of mine. Ben smiles again.
"What?" He says starting to grin now.
He rolls me over on my back, hovering above me.
"I-" I start to say, but I'm interrupted by another kiss. This time grabbing my waist and pulling it up to his.
"Mm, hmm. Mmm, mm!" I try to speak, but Ben only holds me tighter. Soon I stop trying.
Ben lays me back down on his bed still hovering over me.
My cheeks feel like they're on fire. "B-Ben?"
"Yes?" He's grinning like crazy now.
"You aren't mad?" I say quietly.
He leans in closer. "No of course not. Why would I be?"
"I... I'm not sure."
He smiles again and sits down next to me. I sit up. Almost like a trap, he grabs me and sets me in his lap, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. I feel awkward.
He kisses my cheeks.
My heart beats faster.