I was 15 when I started cutting. I don't know why I did that. I started drinking and smoking. Not vaping . I was smoking what you might call cannabis. It's called weed here so yeah. Whenever I was high, I never thought about anything. My head was empty and it was truly amazing. The way I felt when I was high was different. Everything basically just disappeared. Just like how the girl made my problems go away , I tried to use the weed as a way to not face myself you know. I also got addicted on sleeping pills because when I didn't have weed, I would take the pills to sleep. What I thought at that time was that the longer I stay by myself or stay awake, the more I urm you know think. The more I think the worst everything got. I hated it. Along the way, I started to become empty. I went in relationships just trying to fill my emptiness. It was relationships after relationships. That time I hurt a lot of people but I didn't care. I couldn't care for anything. The only thing I cared about was ending my life but I didn't want pain. I wanted to die but I didn't want to feel pain. Again I was pathetic. This one time in school, I was so high so I broke classes and stayed behind the Art room. I started punching the ground and my hands started to bleed so I was like "Fuck!" I went to wash my hands and there our physical education teacher walked up to me and told me that everything is gonna okay and that no matter what he'll be there to listen and whatever happened is not my fault. There I started to cry and I spilled everything. The thoughts I was having, what I was doing to keep those thoughts away. I just spilled everything. He was the second person I ever told. He carried me by our Principles of Accounts teacher and my former form teacher was there as well. There I told them everything and my accounts teacher looked at me and hugged me and said that everything is gonna be okay and that I'm gonna be okay. They carried me to the guidance counselor and they set up a few therapy appointments for me. I went to all the sessions and slowly everything started to change. Slowly the thoughts disappeared. They did said that I was suffering from depression. After the sessions, I was 16 and I opened up to my family. I told them everything.