After I told my family everything, I was slowly better. There I made the choice to redeem myself. I went to apologized to everyone I hurt. The girls that I hurt and the people around me that I hurt. Of course I didn't tell them why I was such an ass because that's just an excuse. I stopped drinking, I stopped taking pills and stopped smoking. I do drink from time to time now. It's been 3 years since then. I'm still apologizing to a lot of people but I'm better now. My family and 3 teachers are the only ones that knows the full truth. I haven't told my friends because I wasn't ready. I was afraid that they would treat me like a pathetic human being. I didn't want that. They still don't know because it's not something to tell people you know . I thought that I was alone and that no one was there for me but I was not alone. They helped me become the best me as possible. I think the point of this story is to urm talk to someone. There's always someone willing to do their best for you. You're never alone. There's family, friends and the monster under your bed. They'll all try their best to help you. Even though I said that I wanted to die, deep down I wanted to live which was why I never had the strength to take my own life. I had everything, a loving family, I had a place to stay and I wasn't starving. Someone far away would have given up everything to just have a place to stay and I wanted to take my life. Just remember that it's okay to talk to someone, it's okay to cry, it's okay to scream and it's okay to be true to yourself. The biggest battle you will ever have is the battle of yourself. I quoted this about 2 times. This was something my Physical Education teacher told me and it stuck with me since then. Well that's it .