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Chapter 8 - 8. TRUTH OPENS OUT

Selena one day felt very sick when Raj was still in court wasting his time. He stopped teaching and always discussed one and the same subject with all who talked to him. He started shifting his places. One day Selena talked to husband.

'I feel pregnant and getting such symptoms. I tested by using strips which showed positive results. How it's possible at this age.' Selena told husband.

'Why don't you get checked by a doctor? It could be a false symptom.' Raj talked normally but internally he was very upset. Her guilt was showing and his doubt was confirmed. Both Selena and Manish together plotted to kill Jyoti.

'Did you upset Jyoti some way on the night she committed suicide?

'That day she fought with me when she found Manish in my bed. She had turned cold and was not able to entertain husband for long as disclosed by Manish. You also always tried but failed to satisfy and make me happy. I remained hungry for sex all the time and your age was responsible for this. That day when we were close no permission was needed.' Selena said.

Raj said, 'Manish is my age only. Firstly your parents wanted me to marry Jyoti. I disliked something and refused. She always looked depressed and full of sadness. We would have made a terrible pair as I am also a serious person. You were showy and chirpy and I preferred. But gradually you proved the same way, very cold and not interested in many things including sex. You loved rest and felt always lazy and totally dependent on maids and servants. Only I could spend time with you.'

'You should have told me to improve and change. That's also the duty of the husband.' She said looking pensive.

'It's easier said than done. You married at an age when your emotions were all set along with likes and dislikes. Efforts would have gone a waste. I tried in early years of marriage and you picked up. But gradually you got back to all old habits and covered your weaknesses with long gossip. You liked talking to men rather than women. You rarely tolerated a lady who was having a better look and it's said to be natural.' Raj was in a mood to place facts right in front.

'When all this is clear, allow me to go and stay with Manish. He has made me pregnant and he must take this burden.' Selena talked plain and straight. She was offended.

Raj wanted to control damages made to wife, 'You should know that Manish pushed Jyoti in the pool where she drowned, not knowing how to swim. He found her a burden. He wanted to get free from her. His business failed and now he survives on commissions as an agent. He travels often and has picked up all vices. This was revealed by his close friend during my stay there. Jyoti has left sufficient money in her bank account. Now he will use that.'

'Are you suggesting he may do the same with me? Will he not care for my pregnancy?' Selena asked, getting worried.

'Definitely as long as you are having money in your bank account, he will care for you. He is under heavy debt and wants to pay back to restore his business, I believe he wouldn't be able to do so. He had gone to court to know the status of the case and wanted to negotiate a settlement. That man approached me and I refused.' This was told by Baba who owns a tea stall there.

'Your talks are scaring me. What should I do? I have lost your sympathy by sleeping with Manish. You have shown greatness accepting this without losing head.' Selena talked low.

'What can I do otherwise? One way I am happy that the rest of life I can spend in my own ways. I may do something different and go to a new place to save my face. You will also not be insulted by any one and mocked as being done about Soni's wife.' Raj became more polite.

'If suppose I don't go, what will you do? How will you keep me?' She enquired.

'First thing is that you must abort your pregnancy as I can't take the burden of having a child now. I won't be able to play the role of father to the newly born child and you will do it alone.' Raj talked plainly again.

'You don't consider my sentiment of becoming a mother like other women. This was a vacuum in my life and also yours.' Selena pleaded.

'I can't accept this child who is a symbol of betrayal in married life. I won't be able to look at him.' Raj became serious and he felt like sinking. He walked to the fridge and took out a cold water bottle and gulped all in one go.

'Are you alright? Shall I do something for you?' She showed concern.

'No I am alright and need rest.' Raj went to his room and closed from inside. He fell down on bed and started crying thinking about his failure and also ditching by wife. She had guts to talk openly about her wrong deeds and also justifying. He never forced sex on her concerning her poor health and unwillingness. He cursed himself and finally slept for a long time.'

He got up late in the evening and opened the door. His flat was not closed and he went round to find Selena. She was not there and on the center table in the sitting room a note was kept under a show piece which he bought on last anniversary. He picked up and read.

'I am leaving this house forever and going to some place where you shouldn't be able to find me. I have decided to keep my pregnancy and become a mother. I don't want to go to Manish after knowing his details and who may kill me like Jyoti. I want to enjoy my freedom and want you to enjoy yours. You are capable of working further and can marry Deepika who is waiting for you. She telephoned often and enquired about your welfare and is still unmarried. She is also a teacher like you and both of you will pair well. Take my love last time.' Selena wrote.

Raj was shaken but didn't run around to find her. He felt ditched and cursed her for having bad days ahead.