I changed after Eve died. It has been almost three months. I still do everything I normally do but everyone could tell I was different. Hiro, Miu, and Yui tried to still be my friends while also giving me space. I never told them exactly what happened, I just said someone I cared about deeply had died. I still go to school, living my life, even though I always feel the overwhelming guilt in the back of my mind.
The dreams that I had haven't occurred since Eve died, however, I felt more uneasy rather than relieved about that. I'm trying little by little to get out more recently, but I still am reluctant when I do. Today I'm going out for lunch with Miu, just to some quiet cafe. It's summer break in school right now so it's been a little while since I've been outside. I got ready, which took a while, and headed out. I decided to just walk instead of taking public transportation to try and get some fresh air. It was only about thirty minutes or so but it felt nice. Miu wasn't there yet so I got us a table and sat down. I am a little awkward when interacting with people recently but I still get by.
Miu walked in about ten minutes after me and walked over. "Hey Satou, it's been a while, how have you been?" Miu asked, sounding almost motherly.
"I've been doing alright, how about you?" I said in a somewhat distant tone.
"I've been pretty good." She said smiling. We both got some dessert and coffee and had some small talk for around an hour, it was pretty awkward in all honesty. When we were finished she insisted that she would pay for the bill even though I kept pestering her that I wanted to. When we were walking out and about to head our separate ways she turned to me. "Hey how about we go to the movies sometime this week, maybe Hiro can come and you can invite Yui if you want." She said all giddily
"Um, maybe, I'll have to see what I'm doing," I responded reclusively.
"Oh, ok, well I hope you can, we haven't hung out a lot, and summer break is nearly halfway over already," She responded, sounding sad.
That tone hurt to hear so I said "I'm pretty confident that I can go though, I'll call you later today to let you know."
"Ok, bye then, hope to see you in a couple of days," she said walking away while waving to me. I waved back. After she was out of sight I started towards the grocery store since it had been some time since I had last gone shopping. I browsed around there for around an hour or so just to kill some time, it felt pretty nice since I hadn't been getting out that much recently. Once I was done I decided that it might be nice to go to the park for a while and just empty my thoughts. I took a stroll threw and decided to sit on a bench and watch the sunset.
It was nice, well until I started thinking, thinking about Eve then it wasn't as nice, it was actually quite sad. I started crying, and kept crying for a while, until I passed out.