"What happened?" Ronald's sudden voice made me jump when I came outside. Today I won a little war against my fear. Marcus promised me not to spill the truth in front of Ronald.
"You scared me."
"Not the first time." He winked and I melted.
"What did he say?" We both start walking.
"Nothing, just some tests." Nodding he grabbed my hand and pulled me with him but then with sudden awareness he stopped immediately. The warm feeling for a second I feel in my heart is now gone again. For a moment nothing happened around us.
Me and Ronald
Just
Why is he so different from me now? Maybe it's better for us that we keep our distance.
"We need to go." He left me alone and I'm standing watching him gone like before. Coming outside I found him already sitting in the car. As soon as I reached for the door he shut the door immediately.
What the hell?
"Arrange a ride for yourself." Then his car was gone in fog. He's so warm and so cruel. I chose to walk in the cold. Not the first time I've had a cold around me. Every day I feel a slap of snow and rain on my face.
Coming home I came straight to my room. After changing I take my pills and lay on the bed and start rolling the whole day in my mind. Today is my first day and everything changed in one day. We met years later and that was the best part.
But Ronald hates me but sometimes I feel his warm presence in the cold. He's not what he's showing me or it's my imagination. Wow, he's so handsome. I remember when Olivia told me about Ronald's sickness in girls. Thinking about Ronald my eyes closed automatically.
A sudden beep wakes me up. It's my phone and Ronald's sixth call. My sleepy eyes are wide open. Why is he calling late at night?
Shit
I dialed his number and it kept ringing.
"Where the hell are you?" Before I said hello his words fell on me like a thunderstorm.
"It's night so where am I now Mr. Ronald? A normal person sleeps during the night , that's what I'm doing." There's a long pause.
"Are you okay now?" There he's. Sweet, caring.
"Yes, I. I'm fine Ronald. Thanks for.."
"No need." Again a pause. Does he want to say something?
"You eat?" No.
"Yes." A throat clear voice and then he speaks again.
"I... what are you doing?" Is he drunk? I told him already.
"I'm sleeping."
"On the bed." Why is he asking such weird questions?
"Yes." That yes comes out like a whisper and I hear he said something but don't know what?
"Umm... you changed clothes." My heart is beating so fast. It's like the first time we're talking like a teenager.
"Yes..."
"You're still sleeping..." A heated rush in my veins so suddenly. I remember when he told me to sleep in a t-shirt and panties. After midnight, he always came into my room to give me pleasure. Is he imagining me in the same clothes?
No
"Good night." My fingers feel so numb when I cut the phone. It's not good for the feeling growing between us again. He never knew the girl died years ago. After that, not even a single time did my mind stop imagining him.
The feel, his hands, the kisses, pleasure. He always came when everyone was sleeping. He slept on my bed and gave me hugs and kisses. One day he told me to feel him and I do. After that every night he has done something more and more. The pleasure ran in my body like a drug and I told him to do it every day.
The next morning my mind was still filled with late-night thoughts. How am I going to face Ronald? He's my boss. With courage, I filled his black coffee and entered the office but immediately stopped.
The voice forced me to. It's coming from Ronald's bedroom. He's with a girl. Slowly I entered inside more and was shocked because it's the same girl from yesterday. The girl who laughed at me. Wait, she's married if I remember. How dare he?
The scene in front of me looks so hot. Ronald's whole back is exposed the first time and here my body and hands want to grab him. He's so handsome.
Touch him
But I hate that woman who's in my place. It's my place but why suddenly do I want her place? I'm here just for work, nothing else. But how can I resist myself for not looking? I Didn't see this so I looked away. As soon as I start walking I hear my name.
"Rose....fuck." It's like melted on the floor.
"What the hell Ronald it's the third time you said that bitch name?"
"Don't call her bitch." Some sound came and then a door shut sound.
"Why not? You assume that bitch."
"I said don't call her bitch." Then a loud sound like something crashed on the floor. I know Ronald's voice when he's angry but this is something else.
"She's in your head. You're fucking her not me. Why not you fuck her instead of me." He's assuming me?
Without listening to another word I came outside and locked myself in the bathroom. The feeling after listening to his conversation is different. Why do I still want him in my life after I know there's nothing for him. He's happy with another person then why do I feel jealous watching him with her?
All-day Ronald and I avoided each other. He called me less in his office. When I called him he cut the phone so I left him alone. But my eyes are always on Ronald but he never showed up in front of my eyes. I'm happy on one side but also sad. Why are we ignoring each other because of our little talk last night? But my curiosity breaks me when half-day ends without his single look.
After enough waiting, I walk towards Ronald's office but suddenly stop. I know he's not in the office but if he came then? My heart wants a single look or touch. I want to breathe in his space. Why am I so mad about him or do I just want to see where he's with his girl from last night?
When my foot entered his office a relief ran in my body. He's not here but his presence is always around me. His smell ran in the air. His unmade bed shows his pleasant night. But then my gaze landed on something. Picking up the things I found in the condom packet.
Shit
"Miss me?" My body jumped with Ronald's voice and the packet fell from my hand. He's in a meeting then how? He's standing with hands in pockets looking smart enough. I'm shocked by his sudden presence.
"Looking shocked, why Rose?" Right now just us. I know he's not the Ronald I used to know but why does he feel suddenly giving me negative vibes. The tension of lust is growing harder.
"I.. I...."
"What Rose?" My huge eyes are running on his face because he knows I'm here for him. A Devil smile set on his lips. We're not the same but our feelings are still the same.
Before I said something he came closer and I stepped back. He walks closer and closer until we're standing close. His one moment with me stops my whole world but now he's standing so closely.
"Why are you here Rose? You know I'm not here then why?" His last words touch my lips. A shiver runs in my body and then the whole thing starts bleeding like blood. The moment I want to forget now standing again in front of me.
"I... I forgot something." Shit my voice breaking because his smell makes me weak.
"I think the one you want is me." The words are not so warm. It's shameful or sharp like a knife. The person I'm seeing is not Ronald. He's the one.
Bastard
"You and I are on a bed..." He's creating the scene with my past. My body starts reacting again. Body numb with cold words. The warming smell in our relationship is not helping me now and then my breath stops coming. I try to see Ronald but he's not helping me.
The laugh
The words
The man
Everything Blank now