Signh....
Well, guess I should just finish my homework first. It's pointless to say anything else.
(2 hours later)
wahhhhhh, hmmmmm... I finished my homework at least. It's 12:47 already...!!! "
I was on his way to the dinning room. My parents and my siblings room is on the way. I could see my Mother, sister and brother is sleeping.
" Huh? They are sleeping... but where is father? Why can't I see him....? Maybe he went to the bathroom/toilet ..... I am starving.... I should eat dinner first"
I noticed the lights of the dinning space was turned on...
Hmmm...? The light of the dining room is already turned on? Maybe since I am afraid of dark, so maybe mother kept the light on.....
I was a bit shocked cause mother never keeps it turned on just for my sake.
I came to the dinning room and found my father laying his head down onto the table, sleeping.
" Hmmm....? Father...? Why is he sleeping on the table? I should wake him up."
"Father...! father wake up!"
!!!
He woke up...
" Oh it's you son. At least You finished your homework. I have been waiting for you. Let's eat together."
My heart skipped a bit hearing him say that....
"What do you mean by that? You haven't eaten yet?.... You have to eat your meal in time and take your medicines timely if you don't want your dease to spread further. Why are you still waiting? Don't act like a fool."
Father looked at me and said to me,
"Hahah, look at how much you have grown... You have grown so much that you are now yelling at your father and calling him a fool. I feel like I am listening to my own father"
"W..What are you saying? Stop saying things like this. It sounds weird. "
Father started serving food in our plate while saying,
"My son hasn't eaten anything yet. How can I eat without him? Everyone else ate their dinner early, ate together so why should you be the only one to eat separately?.....Eat all alone! Feeling all lonely thinking like there's no one to spend a little time with you... Having no fun moment is already enough torture a it is, adding your hard study all day long is another thing and if we add this as well then how can I call myself a father?... ..Rest assured, your father isn't too weak. Taking medicine 2 hours later won't do any harm. And as long as your father is around, he won't let you feel lonely. Let's eat together."
...
I didn't know what to say. My eyes became a bit wet hearing father saying that. I... wanted to hear those words. No one said things like this to me before, I guess. Maybe I wanted someone to acnoledge my hard work, understand the pain I have birried deep inside me...
I said to my father,
"Hmm..... You should eat and go back to sleep fast. You have to wake up early in the morning for your office"
We were eating quietly... all of a sudden father said,
" Son..... Maybe you are tired of studying all the time. You are still a little kid..... At least a kid to your father. Everyone in your age have many friends. They watch television, play video games, have fun with friends..... And you on the other hand, are being forced to study all the time... We have restricted you from all fun things, all things that a little kid like you should enjoy..... We have taken away your childhood..... Maybe we shouldn't be so harsh on you.... Maybe your mother is working you a bit hard.... I am not stopping her cause in the end, studying hard will help you a lot..... In this world, good job, money is everything. No matter who you are, no one will respect you if you don't have a good job and a lot of money..... I wouldn't say much. Just do your best..... and... no matter how much money you earn, don't become arrogant..... It doesn't matter if you don't get a good job and don't earn a lot of money, just don't become a bad person. Become someone who earns other peoples love by doing good deeds... "
".... Yes father. I understand." I said that with a low voice.
After finishing our meal father asked me, "Son, guess you will go and study again now, right?"
" Yes. I have to study till 3 am or else mother will get mad"
Father looked at me for a bit and said, "wait a few minutes. I will go and make a cup of green tea for you. It won't take long"
!!!
"No father. You go to sleep. Or else you won't be able to concentrate on your work tomorrow. I will make it myself. Just take your medicine and go to bed already...."
"Ok..... ok.... then, Good night son"
"Hmm....."
Father went to bed already. After making a cup of green tea for myself, I started study again. I studied till 3 am....
"Well, I am done for today. I am so sleepy. I should go to bed now."
shh, shhs, shsh... ( cleared the bed)
After that I turned off the light and then went to bed... I suddenly noticed that the moon today is looking beautiful. "Ohhhh? it's a full moon night. The sky looks so amazing. The wind coming from the window is awesome. But the full moon scares me a bit.... huh?..... What am I thinking? I am not a kid anymore and here I am thinking of the existence of ghosts..."
But for some unknown reason, I kept staring at the sky, without a care of anything...
I suddenly thought of what would happen to me if I am left alone. The ones I loved the most are missing. I was thinking, how would the scenery be, scenery of the day that my parents would leave me behind and be gone..... forever... How would it be, if my parents died....
Tthinking of it, tear came to my eyes without me knowing....
!!!
"Huh...? What is this... ? Tear... ?Am I crying?"
"....."
"Hahaha, look at me..... I have seen in movies that people cry when their loved ones are very sick. And mainly they cry for a small reason like being rejected by the person they love. I just thought..., it can't be like that.... People would never cry if they don't get hit hard by something or someone..... It's just a show....but.... but I guess I was wrong..... people do cry when their loved ones are missing....."
I looked at the sky again, and prayed to God,
"God, please don't take away my family from me... At least don't take them away as long as I live.... If you have to take them away, do it after I die. Please God"....
After staying like this for a while, I have fallen asleep at one moment.....