I inhaled through my lips. Everything seemed to go silent as I looked out at the crowd. This was a disaster waiting to happen. I had no idea why I agreed to this. I took another deep breath. I wasn't the last participant, which I found oddly comforting. If I failed, someone would come right after to take my disgrace away. Hopefully. I straightened myself, holding my chin high as Mr. Haughty offered his hand. I accepted his palm and he led me into the spotlight.
"Mia Stennett. Angel of Light and Miracles" The auctioneer presented, causing a smile to slip across my lips.
"You look lovely" Mr. Haughty whispered as he escorted me to the runway and my heart leaped with joy. I felt beautiful. I felt like a frikin queen.
He released my hands and I let all my uneasiness go in one breath. I owned this stage and I was going to make it clear to everyone in this room. I was going to win this thing. I began my strut down the walkway, just like I had practiced in front of my closet mirror. I let my hair loose, putting on my picture-perfect smile and in that same moment a loud, chaotic fart rang out through the room, overpowering the softly playing music. I froze, wondering if I was really the source of the untimely outburst as the crowd roared with unquenchable laughter. It came from me but I was certain it wasn't mine.
Just like that, all my confidence was snatched away from me. I searched the crowd, nervousness engulfing my entity once more. I looked over at Ray, he was also dying with laughter but unlike everyone else, his glee mattered the most. I stepped back and another explosive fart circled the room, causing a restart in the subsiding laughs. I stumbled back and it happened again. I curled my eyes in confusion, a sudden rush of anger pulsing throughout me. I looked over at Ray. He was going to have a fit if he continued laughing like he was.
I searched my thoughts, recalling his last words 'You look good but you won't win.' I searched the back of my dress with a single hand and sure enough, there was a motion fart broach attach to my backside. I snatched it from me furiously, throwing it to the ground and crushing it under my feet, only then did his laughter cease.
I scoffed, I couldn't believe he would go that far just to win. I stormed back onto the stage, ready to go to my room and break a few things but Mr. Haughty blocked my path and forced me to sit in the stupid chair at the front instead. I crossed my arms across my chest in fury. The auctioneer slammed his stupid hammer to the podium and the room finally became a bearable silence.
"Five hundred" The Hilton began and I looked up at him taking offense. That had to be the lowest starting bid of the night. He shrugged and I sighed as the room remained silent. I glared at Ray and he pursed his lips briefly, diverting his eyes before engaging his girlfriend in a conversation.
"One hundred" The auctioneer dropped the price and I shrunk in my chair. This was as embarrassing as it could get. I'd never heard an auctioneer drop a price before. I batted my lashes leisurely, trying to stop tears from falling. Apparently, I was worth nothing. I looked towards the curtains, wanting more than anything to be able to hide behind its thick, red velvet of safety. I just needed this to be done and over with.
"One thousand"
My eyes wandered to the multitude in astonishment. Who'd be so brave?
I smiled as Bill raised his card, with a very unstealthy wink. Mrs. Hoe, who was sitting right beside him, gave me a brief nod before standing "You know what?" She yelled "Stop acting like you've never farted before. I've got news for you" She let her bowels loose and everyone pinched their nose as the despicable stench filled their lungs. "Don't let me start telling stories about the unspeakable things some of you do during sex" she sat, looking around the room like she owned it.
"One thousand, Five hundred" Keith a man who worked at the village hospital spoke immediately and the auctioneer ran with it.
"One Five. Do I hear two thousand?"
A man at the back raised his white laminated paper circle.
"Two thousand, do I hear three thousand?"
I got another circle that unintentionally brought a smile to my lips
"Four thousand, do I hear a five?"
The room became silent and I sighed. It was better than nothing. I dropped my hands to my lap, seemed Ray had won after all.
"Five thousand going once"
Silence
"Five thousand going twice"
"Ten thousand" A man I had never seen before appeared at the back. He had long, brown, straight hair and heart-melting eyes. He must have been the angel to my angel because he was saving my dignity, confidence and worth. The lights circled him for a second before returning to me and I straightened myself, wanting to see how this would play out. I was currently tied with Aleecia. I was completely intrigued.
"Ten thousand, can I get Ten five?"
I watched as the man took an empty seat, close to where he previously stood, his eyes failing to leave my own.
"Ten thousand going once"
"Eleven thousand" Ray's voice echoed throughout the room and I broke eye contact with the stranger to look at him in bewilderment. What was he doing?
"Participants aren't allowed to bid as the rule book clearly states in…" the auctioneer began to explain and Ray got up and walked to the table behind him. He sat in an empty chair, glaring at the old helpless guy in front of him.
"Eleven thousand" the old man repeated and I scoffed
"That's bribery. That illegal" I argued in discontent
"Eleven thousand, Can I get a…"
"Twenty- Five thousand" the man at the back spoke cutting Hilton off, much like he'd done me.
"Thirty thousand" Ray muttered a bit irritated
"Participants are not…" Hilton began
"Thirty" the old man yelled after being threatened by Ray's brutally intimidating eyes.
I grunted in distress, feeling like this had gotten out of control.
"Forty" the man at the back spoke, unrealistically calm.
"Fifty" Ray huffed
"Order" the auctioneer tried
"Sixty" The man at the back continued
"Eighty Frikin thousand"
"Sixty thousand, sold to the man at the back" Hilton butted, having had enough
"No. Say the number old man" Ray cursed, glaring at the man in front of him. I had never seen him this fazed by anything and a part of me wished it was because he was jealous but it wasn't. He was going on a limb because of his job. It was his sworn duty to protect me and there was a new guy he'd never met which could cause trouble for him. I sighed. I wanted to mean more but I was only kidding myself. He wasn't even mine. He was Aleecia's. I would always be a job to him and nothing else.
"Next. Douglas Pelt"
I'd won but it didn't even matter anymore, it didn't feel like a win. I was still losing in my less than a relationship- in my affair.
I could never win. I looked over at Aleecia, she had a smug look written across her face. She definitely knew something and if she did, this was exactly what she wanted me to see. I was losing.