Juliet
After Marcus and I consummated our wedding night, I relaxed tenfold. It was such a weight off my shoulders, knowing there were not going to be any Damians waiting for me. The very next day, Ahasuerus sent me the note.
Juliet
With Compliments
Take Care Of Him
A.
I was so happy he knew and had figured it out in some way and given me his blessing. If… and only if this timeline worked out, I would be glad to do it, but we still had a long way to go.
It took us two years, and I was pregnant. Another year, we had our baby. My parents came over regularly. My mom and Agatha got along and were involved in our everyday lives. As soon as Agatha met with Liam and Cindy alone at our house for the first time, it seemed she accepted that their plans were not going to work out. I guessed they had all hoped the branding would set them all free, and Agatha had a lot more riding on the outcome. Marcus wasn't there anymore to check if Qadir beat his mother; strangely, she never seemed hurt. I saw her every day, and I guessed Qadir had too much planning to do. Agatha was also behaving a little better, especially after she heard I was pregnant. My mom and my mother-in-law suddenly had a common goal.
I was nineteen, and the time had flown by. Qadir had steered clear, and there were never any men in the house besides Jessy and Kubra, who I trusted with my life. It would be the year Qadir launched his world domination campaign. I wondered if Rodrigo was down in the tunnels. Most of all, I wanted to see him. I was sure no one had told Marcus anything of En-gannim yet. It would be Chris and Sita's fourth year of marriage, and I wondered with a smile on my face if she had driven him mad yet and wished I could ask Warden to send me his feed. I was laughing lightly, thinking about how I could sneak out and somehow get to Kubra's tech and ask Warden for it.
"Why are you laughing?"
Oh, my true life seemed thousands of miles away. I couldn't believe I was somewhere on a floor and Caleb was waiting for me. I missed them so much it hurt. All of them. And I still had to go through it three, maybe four more times. I didn't know if it was worth it. What Soren had done had become a distant memory, and the only thing keeping me there was Louis… A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Are you pregnant again?" I laughed so hard. It was wonderful to only be with Marcus. All the stress and pain were gone, and only the freedom to make my own choices.
Michael had never again sent me anything for my birthday, not even the poem that linked us together. I swiped more tears away, thinking of his grey eyes and me up against a desert wall. Although I knew Michael and Ahasuerus were still watching because the tech was the same as it was back in the house in France, I didn't mind. No one knew about my ability yet; I'd not even told my parents or Marcus. If I needed to intervene a little at some point, I would. Many times, I got lost in my thoughts, like at that moment, missing everyone I had left in my other life. Marcus would want to ask me what was going on; a few times, he almost didn't go through with the pretense.
One night, we were due to have dinner at the main house. Qadir had taken a new wife, and the women were helping her get ready. I walked over the threshold and looked up. Isla was being dressed in a creation for her auction. My mom was busy pinning and folding materials in strategic places. My first sign of anger flared up. In four years, I had been the model of all En-gannim deemed necessary in their women. Yet, I had no control over losing the ability to govern myself; what Soren and Isla had done rolled me around in disgusting waves of dirty, mirky ocean water filled with trash and refuse. My black nails were out, and through the slit, you could see the manifestation so clearly. It was not allowed. Agatha jumped when she realized and pulled me into a room, closing the door and leaving me alone.
I dug my nails into my hands, thinking how stupid I was, boasting how the past was a distant memory. Ahasuerus and Michael would see it. I closed my eyes and willed myself not to disappear. A knock came, and I dropped my manifestation and pulled my veil straight. Qadir was waiting outside the door. They were swift; did Michael have a direct line to the man. I fell to the floor. "Get up and come with me."
I did and followed him, shuffling so he knew where I was so he didn't need to turn around. My hands clasped in front of me, I walked into the room and headed for the corner. Qadir laughed. The sound was so foreign; I'd never heard him even genuinely laugh before. I snapped out of it and looked around me for a reason why the man in front of me would actually find something funny. I checked myself and sighed, dropping my shoulders. I had followed En-gannim customs and not Earth's. "No matter. Come tell me what is wrong with Isla."
I dropped down to talk, "Nothing. She'll make an excellent wife."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Good. You may go."
I guessed Isla's consequence was being married to Qadir. There is no possibility of anyone getting off the compound anymore. I had set the example of going into that house. However, Isla didn't know the two hundred meters separating me from her would be a lifetime. I wondered what had happened to change her mind. I backed out and stopped inside the doorway. He noticed I wasn't moving. If they thought it was swatches… permanent and didn't know I was in a room, "What?!"
"Consequences."
"I understand. I will keep her under surveillance." Good, I didn't want them to know, not yet anyway.
I shuffled out and didn't go to the dressing room but to another small parlor where females were allowed to sit on a chair and wait in absolute quiet silence. There were a few others who came and went. No talking. I missed talking. I was always talking. All I had left was thinking.
Later, the knock came, and I followed Agatha to the dining room. I didn't understand why the first wives were supposed to be there. Customs were not meant to be understood, I guessed. We were one course into the meal, and I had picked up my water; taking a sip made me lift my eyes for a moment. Agatha's heart was racing; the cause, my uncle, walked through the door. With my veil still lifted, I sputtered the sip of water I had taken over my chin. Qadir laughed, and I had to take another second to appreciate the sound. It was so surreal to see Qadir with any emotion other than utter disdain for everyone. If I had known a live-acting performance would get him to loosen up, I might have done it sooner.
"Juliet," my uncle said with a smile on his face. Oh, that is how they knew why I changed so drastically; I had someone in my corner. I got up and fell to the floor; every time, I walked over elegantly, bowed in ceremony, and waited.
"Get up," Qadir said to Agatha and me.
I wondered if Sam would even talk to Agatha—he didn't. When I stood up, my eyes were on the ground, and we shuffled back to our seats.
"Louis, why don't you sit here."
"Thank you."
His voice. My heart stopped dead. I looked at Marcus in alarm, feeling guilty. He was so aware, almost hyper-vigilant, of his surroundings; even if I twitched, he would've known. He met my eye in confusion. Crap, I made a mistake—another one—how many was it now—three.
My first thought was about Louis in our car and me staring at his mouth and... I shook myself, grabbed Agatha's hand under the table, and squeezed nervously. She gestured twice in return. It was a little thing we had for yes and no and other small communications, particularly for an emergency. Louis couldn't find out. Agatha stood to her feet; my fear of what might happen to her was enough to make me also stand. I nervously glanced at Qadir, whose head lifted slowly; the spoon on its way to his mouth stopped midair. It was not at all allowed to stand in a man's presence without consent. Qadir's mouth gaped, "Have you gone wholly mad, woman?"
Samuel stood up in our defense, "Agatha, you and Juliet are excused." He gave Qadir a look and nudged at Louis. Qadir sighed and put the spoon to his lips; he went on as if nothing happened. Yes, I liked Qadir way more in this life. I met clear oceanic eyes quickly and sang in my mind. Louis smiled down at me. All I could think was the f— word in succession, multiple times. He laughed, and Agatha half dragged me out of the room, not caring about the fact that we left without the rigmarole. I didn't stay to reassure her or walk down the stairs—I ran away. I had stuffed up; my mistakes had been… too many. Not in a million years did I think Louis would ever be at the compound. I was so stupid. Did I not say he would find me in some way. Where else would we meet? I had pictured in a hundred years maybe on En-gannim. I stopped halfway down the lane, circling myself. "I need help. I need help," I whispered, "I need help right now." My uncle came walking down the stairs. He had luckily followed me. I ran and ran into his arms. He caught me, "Oh, Samuel. Tell me Louis isn't marrying Isla."
"No," he let me go and glanced around in a fearful, jerky movement. I had forgotten he had never met me or about the customs I had drilled into myself. He walked ahead of me so I could trail behind. The tears were uncontrollable. It had been four years since I had seen Louis, Chris, or Michael. Why did I have to go back and fix things? I had become so accustomed to crying without making a sound, holding it in. Once inside the red gates, I followed into the first open door. Sam didn't really know what to do. I walked into his arms, and as if on instinct, he sat down and cradled me. The four years of continually working myself to the bone without reprieve had broken down in one second. I cried for a while to let it all out, glad I had at least three people there with me; maybe four if you counted Qadir's participation.
I got up and paced, "What is he doing here?" I pulled off my veil and flung it to the floor. "I was doing so well. What the hell is he doing here? What are you doing here? I thought you're not allowed on compound soil."
"Juliet," my uncle chuckled. I looked at him. I clapped my hand over my mouth, "You have a bit of an advantage over us."
I took a deep breath, "You're right. I'm okay. Let me drain someone."
Sam stuck his head out the door and hollered, "Jessy."
"Did Jessy see me lose my s—?" I asked nervously. If four years were down the drain, I would lose it.
"No matter, he is discreet. I hear it's not the first time you've done something; no one knows why you did it… Like asking for a gun!"
I laughed. It had been a day when we were in the market, and I had bumped into Soren, "You know… I could do with some Orija."
My uncle laughed again, "Oh, how curious I am."
"Don't be," my voice quivered, and more tears welled up. I dug my fingers into my sockets to make it stop.
"That bad?"
"Worse. Never ask, and be happy we get a do-over… It's what I'm telling myself."
"So… you know everything?"
"I know how to connect the core power of the teleporters and how to get it out of someone. I know about Chris. I know about the stone around Brylee's neck..." My uncle got up and paced with me. "Yes... You don't even know what the stone does… So I think… I know everything. Tell Ahasuerus not to mess with Iku and get him to his wife... Or help that Palmyrian b—. Oh yeah. She's Louis's mother, so, by the way."
Samuel stopped pacing abruptly as we passed each other and gripped my shoulders, "What did you say?"
"Noya is Brylee." My uncle let me go, sat down, and laughed again.
We heard hurried footfalls on the path, silence, and then they slowed coming up the walkway. My uncle scrambled and handed me the veil. Marcus flung open the door and took in the scene. Jessy was bringing in the person, and I gave a lame excuse for postpartum issues and thirst. "You going to introduce me?" Marcus said flatly.
"Oh," I fell to the floor.
Marcus sighed. "Samuel Furrow. Get up, Juliet."
I stood and lowered my head. Marcus looked from me to him. "My father's cousin is here." I had to bite my lip. "The man with Samuel. My uncle."
I wasn't going to laugh, although I wanted to burst out laughing; the absurdity of the situation was getting to me... It had been a trying ten minutes. Samuel was going to have to work very hard to keep everyone happy and intervened quickly, "Yes, he came with me to the wedding. He is looking for a wife."
"Oh… Well, that explains it, then," Marcus said sarcastically, "Nice to meet you at last." My husband was not fooled, and the tick in his jaw was back.
"You too, Marcus… Do you mind if we stay a few nights." I fell to the floor. "We will stay in the main house. We can't stay here, woman. Marcus… maybe a good time to take a few days off," Samuel said as he left us alone, "I'll come see you again, Juliet."
I lifted a hand. Jessy was still in the room, and to keep up appearances, there was constant back and forth. "Speak. Who is he, Juliet?" Jessy closed the door, and I viciously broke the guy's neck and sunk my teeth in. Marcus took a step back, "Do I need to be worried?"
I was going to ignore him until I could compose myself. I didn't think having fewer men in my life would make Marcus's jealousy suddenly worse than mine. I had to be careful. I finished and cleaned my face, "Nobody. I only know he can read minds. It's a bit intrusive. Didn't want him to go poking." I gripped my head, pounding too much all at once. I sat down with my head between two fingers, pressing into my temples, "Mar… cus. Please."
"How do you know him, Juliet?"
"Registry. I asked my father about the whole family of Qadir and why he wasn't on the compound."
"And?"
"They know he has an ability. It's a bit dangerous, don't you think."
Marcus wasn't stupid; how would he manage, having to ask only enough and letting go before I had to be rude? Not to push me too far. I knew things, not even he knew; it had to be aggravating. "What is it you have to hide?"
Hold your tongue, Juliet. Don't be snippy, "Naked pictures of you."
Marcus laughed, "Okay, fine. You are only nineteen, and given Liam's deplorable upbringing, I'll let it go… If you promise, that's all."
"I promise," inside, I continued saying for this lifetime anyway.
"You know I am very jealous."
"I do," my voice trembled as tears sprang to my eyes. What would've been the point of me giving it all to Marcus if he still had doubts about why he was there. "I am, too. It goes both ways. I promise." I whispered, unable to talk, and the human didn't even want to take away any of the brain fog bombarding me after seeing Louis. Four years have been too long; it wasn't like we could reconcile.
"Get up and show me."
I never had to even try. It was like second nature with Marcus. My body had a way with him—no one would ever understand. Once his hands were on me. Once his lips touched mine, I was swept away with desire. Unless he did something stupid, which he had not. I took off the veil. Marcus slowly walked forward, wiped away my tears, and seemed remorseful seeing the many emotions on my features. He leaned down and waited. I closed the distance violently. His arms came around my waist and picked me up, "You have a headache."
"I don't care. I'm already there." I ended up in his arms on his bed, blissfully unaware of any more pain, stress, or fear.
Isla's wedding went on for a few days, which meant Marcus came home a few times drunk. I didn't mind and was happy in my own little world. Naji was with the nursemaid, and Marcus was still at the main house. "Hmm hmm hmmm… hmmm hmmm hmm… Look in my eyes..." I sang the song plaguing me... "Do you fear the time that comes… And who wants to live forever..."
"Who said we'd live forever?"
I had gotten myself under control and could manage the man. My uncle had sent me someone to drain every day. It was the first time I would see Louis after my disappointing performance. I opened my eyes and looked up. "Uncle."
"Juliet. This is—"
"Louis Du Pont," he stretched out his arm.
I looked at the offending body part and looked him straight in the eye, "I'm not allowed to touch other men. You're not supposed to be in here." I got up and gestured to Jessy at the gate. He hustled over, "Where is Marcus? How could you let a stranger in here?" My stomach convulsed at the word 'stranger.' In the back of my mind, I kept singing the same song to keep him out. Neither could I look at him. I was so glad I had the veil on. When I didn't and needed alone time, I told Jessy to keep the gates locked, and he parked on a chair outside. Naji was crying. Something else to think about.
"You rather suck at it."
I rolled my eyes and turned, clutching at my head again. "You found a wife yet, Louis… Don't waste another life."
"What should I do? Wait here till the dawn comes." I stared at him. He kept continuing my song and knew every word. I clutched at my head again.
"You okay, Juliet."
"No!" I glared at Louis, "So have you?"
"Yes, I think I did. My cousin was so kind as to set me up. The auction is in a week."
"If I ask you to not read me. Would you?"
"Probably not."
"S— You surely have enough money… My motto is not to linger in regrets." I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. "Uncle Sam. I really don't want to be a bad hostess, but this is inappropriate. And I am not a good example for Louis… I can't do both."
He nodded, "I brought you a present."
"You did. What is it?"
He held out a box. I turned to open it and flung my arms around his neck, "Thank You. I'll be right back."
"Take your time," we will walk the lane.
"Customs are going out the window. It's giving me whiplash."
My uncle laughed.
That time, I teched myself and fell back onto the bed, "Thank You. Michael… I could do with a shot of creature drugs. Three days of bliss."
I sat up quickly. Oh, frak, Louis had discomposed everything. My tears and headache were a constant. I wondered if the room would pull me out and have mercy on me. A whole new life with its own pain and suffering. I had already stuffed up so much. Was it even worth going on? Would Michael fall for me because he knew everything. Because Samuel told him to keep an eye on me. I sighed as my shoulders fell; I had said Michael's name and talked to him. I groaned at having to hide my sorrow. You were right, Juliet. Louis would find you. It was a choice, and there is nothing you can do about it. Where was Marcus? Only when he was there was all of it worth it.
I got up and walked out in total command of myself. I was becoming spoilt. I smiled. Like Charlene. Oh, how I missed them. What was she and Carl doing, and how would the two of them cope with the Qadir taking over the Earth. I stood at the red gates, looking at the two men in conversation, "Juliet! Come walk with us. I have permission. Your husband is at the barracks. Qadir is still at the house, and we are out in the open now. Jessy is right behind you." I glanced over my shoulders and relaxed, seeing him. My one constant—Jessy was like my tether in a weird way.
I fell into step with them.
"Come tell us how you are. I don't know when I'll see you again. And I don't really know you."
"Hmmm, you're a good liar, but it would be great if you could stay for a while… Anyway, Naji is great. He looks like Marcus... I think."
"And."
I dared to look up from the gravel to take in Louis. He was the same. I wondered who they had chosen for him. Would it work out? He caught me, and I averted my gaze. My headache was gone… Maybe it was because I had to control my thoughts in the dream…. I bobbed my head. That was it. Instant headache if you need to do something strenuous. "I'm getting used to cooking. There really is nothing else to do… A woman's place is in the kitchen, after all."
Louis snorted. I snorted/grunted right back.
He stopped and turned to me, "What is your problem with me?" I wanted to scream—whore! I stopped myself and stared at him for a moment. I was reminded of him tossing a towel in my face to get my attention. I pressed my lips together, keeping back a laugh. Louis had said some nasty things to me the last time we were together. I'd not seen him in four years. A surreal moment in two lifetimes… The first month of knowing each other, in the very beginning, was this Louis, who believed I should submit without question. "Are you going to say something?"
I turned around and walked back the way I came. There was so much I wanted to say. "Whore," I whispered. Jessy cleared his throat. I forgot women were still maimed for talking out of turn. I punched Jessy on the shoulder and ran back toward the red gates.
***
Louis
Samuel went into a fit of laughter. "What did I ever do to the girl? Is all of them like that here?" She just hit a guy, and as far as I knew, women were maimed for even thinking about it.
"No, absolutely not. Juliet… is a Furrow."
I had to sigh, "Like I'm an Ahmed."
"Yes."
"Are we so distinct in our natures?"
"It depends, I suppose, on the circumstances."
"How did she know I could read minds? And why would she call me a whore."
"Oh, we got drunk one night, and she was not. Probably got a lot from us."
"Clever."
There was nothing but pride in his features, "Yes… She is her daddy's child, that's for sure. The fortitude. The stubbornness. The heart."
"So if I was—"
"Three years."
"She's only a child."
"She was sixteen."
"What!?"
"Things work differently here, Louis."
"I suddenly feel sorry for her."
Samuel laughed again, "Sorry?! The one you should feel sorry for is Marcus… So I hear."
I had to laugh, "That bad?"
"Something about trying to catch up to the whore."
"What does that mean?"
"Really? Don't think I am obtuse about your escapades all those years. You were much worse than her for much longer. I had all my days with you—cleaning up your messes and making them disappear."
"Yeah, not my finest moments… Boredom is getting to me. I think I should move here. It's different being around your own people."
"What about that stunning house you built in France. The new wife. You could live a good life."
"I don't think she will feel the same. Am I at least to know her name."
"Rana."
"Weird, but okay."
"You don't have to bid Louis. It's this one, or I don't know—Jacklin."
"No! Absolutely not. She was a lapse in drunkenness. Can't even remember it."
I looked back down the lane; the trees were beautiful, creating a canopy over the fine gravel lane. It was all so well thought through for a young wife not to go entirely out of her mind.
"What was the present. Why could I not read her after?"
"Marcus is very jealous. Doesn't like you poking around where you shouldn't."
"Hmm. If I were him… I would do exactly the same thing. Keep her happy and hold on for dear life."
"Let's go meet Liam. It's time."
We drove such a long way it felt like we would never reach the house. When I saw it, I understood why Juliet wanted to leave and put herself up for auction at that age. Someone like her needed an outlet, or she would end up without a tongue. Qadir had not allowed me to talk to Agatha and had locked her up in a room somewhere while I was there. I did feel awful that my ability had caused such an uproar.
I liked Liam immediately. Cindy shook my hand without a veil, and I understood a little more. They invited me in, and we sat at the table. "Brother. Two hundred years… here?" Samuel seemed contrite and full of regret.
"It's not so bad. We had a child. We were safe, and Cindy had some freedom. Since Marcus and Juliet got married, Qadir has completely changed, I don't know what got into him... If you can imagine, we are there more than here. Even have dinners together… He says I'm allowed off the compound."
"You don't say… And now you don't want to leave."
Liam and Cindy had no control over their thoughts. Liam laughed, thinking about his daughter. She was his pride and joy. It had taken him a year to get accustomed to the idea, and after they got married and Qadir did not harass her, Liam embraced the new life. Cindy remembered her talk with Juliet and how her daughter had changed in the matter of one morning. How she had been and how she was now were two different people. Cindy was also scared for her at first but was happy the situation seemed to be working out so well and that Juliet could, in the end, let the outside world go. I thought she didn't do such a great job.
I laughed, thinking about when I walked into the dining room behind Samuel; it took me a moment to read the room. Agatha jumped to her feet, thinking about my mother and how she regretted how things worked out. Juliet had stood up singing, only hearing my voice. She guarded her mind from me by thinking of something trivial and had run out of the house. Any idiot could see Samuel was hiding something. Juliet knew precisely who I was. It did not matter; for some reason, everyone was letting it go, even her mother and father. And even if I could poke the bear… stirring up trouble for her… I frowned; the idea didn't sit well with me. All Liam and Cindy could think about was how hard she was trying and how they could make it easier for her. It was strange walking into a room, and half of them had tech implanted to stop me from snooping. Where did they get it anyway? I would've invested.
***
Marcus
My father had sat me down for a week, every day, the whole day—and told me how he was going to take over Earth—explained why he had me become the man I was and how I would serve him in every scenario and outcome. How he wanted me to handle every person and who they were in the rankings of what was to come. After Samuel told me to take a few days, I did. Juliet and I had disappeared behind closed doors. It made the time to come so much harder to accept. It was the morning I had to leave, and Juliet was in my arms and in bed.
"I have to leave."
"I know… don't worry about me."
"It's going to be for a long time, Juliet. Are you not going to miss me?"
"I'll be waiting."
"Juliet."
"Yes, Marcus?" I didn't say anything, "Are you ready?" she asked.
"You know more than you should."
Juliet sat up and leaned over, "The women in the compound talk a lot. Your father isn't so strict anymore."
I bumped her nose with a bent finger. She flinched back and opened her mouth, "You didn't."
I did it again. Her reactions were quick; she caught my wrist before I was close. My eyes widened at her reflexes. Juliet had killed her meal with technical precision. After Louis came to the compound, she was more like the old Juliet. We both laughed. I could not be jealous of Louis before I left; I needed to make good on my deal with Qadir. My father had let us be in a big way. "Did you see that? Don't mess with me."
"Juliet. You make me so happy."
"No, Marcus. I think you deserve some sunshine in your life."
"It has been a ride and a half. We already have a kid. It's everything I wanted."
"I am happy for you… but—"
"But what?"
"You have to answer me quickly, first thought that springs to mind."
"Alright." I was curious to hear her question.
"If you could rule instead of Qadir, would you?"
"No, I'd run away and go live in Asia somewhere in a bamboo hut."
"So… if we could… get away from it all, you would've taken the out."
"In a heartbeat… Why the sudden weird questions?"
"Trying to figure some things out… I feel… sometimes I made a mistake… I gave you what you wanted… in a way… but couldn't give you everything without—"
"Without what?"
"Nothing, I was wondering if you would change anything… if you could go back… Am I enough." I wanted to say something, "No, I want to know if you regret… well, how your life turned out? Knowing you'll have to fall in line for the rest of your days."
"I think this way is better." Juliet smiled and scuttled closer on her bent knees. We were face to face on the bed, "You had to give up a lot. I feel it's only fair that I also give up… not even a lot… but bend like Qadir said in this one area… I chose you because even if you do wear that veil, you are still who I fell in love with… Honestly, I asked myself if it was you and your resistance to the ways of the compound that drew me to you… or your face," Juliet laughed, "Or what would set you apart from all the other women here… The day you asked me to marry you, I thought, 'I could've married anyone if you would be like the rest.'"
"What changed your mind?"
"You said I was enough… No one has ever given themselves to me the way you have… The sincerity behind it…" I took a long pause for effect. "And it was the sketches of the bathroom," Juliet laughed, "Our rooms and how my Juliet is still here… albeit… sporadically… like now." I wanted to bump her nose again. She stopped it again. "Juliet."
"Hey, I need to protect myself when my husband isn't here. I need an outlet…" My mouth opened to retort, "Marcus. No one knows. Don't worry."
"Are you so scared to be alone here?"
"Only the next two weeks. After… I think I'll manage… Will you be able to call?"
"No. Sorry."
"I understand… Now kiss me and go, and then maybe we can move."
"Where would you want to go?"
"Oh, somewhere you've never been before."
"Vague, but I'll take it as a surprise."
I leaned in and kissed her quickly, not knowing the two months I thought Qadir would keep me busy turned into many, many more. First, we were dropped off at the Diner. Qadir had walked in with me and introduced me to Nevin, who shook my hand. We stood in the corner of the garage, waiting. I obeyed Qadir to a fault. He had not gone back on his word, and I would also not go back on my resolve. Juliet had the freedom for the last three years, which I had never seen in two hundred years. I waited and wondered what it could be we were waiting for. In a corner, in a diner garage with black cars parked one after another. One moment, we were there, and the next, we were… I instinctively walked forward to the precipice of the landing. I had to look back at my father like a boy who had seen something new for the first time and wanted reassurance. I looked at the cubicle and back at the view.
"This is En-gannim. It's our home world." All the dots connected. My heart was busy, up and down. "Come, Marcus. It's not all."
I followed like a good child or dog—I still didn't know which. We came out on another landing or rather a patio of a building high in the sky. The view was beautiful; I couldn't get enough of the picture another world could create. A man came out after us. Qadir fell down, and I drew in a sharp breath; never before had I seen him face down. I did the same. Qadir's heart was as steady as a train. "Get up, boys." Qadir stood up, still bent at the waist, never lifting his body. I followed the etiquette. "At ease, son." My eyes flickered to the man. He smiled. "Yes, Marcus. I am your grandfather. Ahasuerus."
Another dot. It was too much. I feared for her. She had said she was worried about the next two weeks. I was on another freaking planet, and Juliet was all alone. Did she know even more than I had thought? Who was she? "Don't worry about Juliet. She is quite safe with Jessy. Kubra is there. They are not to leave her side." My shoulders relaxed, "I hear I am a great-grandfather."
"Yes, sir."
"You're taking everything," he gestured around us, "Rather well. No questions?"
"My father raised me to ask no questions, sir."
"Good. Now, let's go sit down and have a very long overdue conversation."
I was given four months to learn as much as I could about our world. It was an information dump. I stayed in The Tower and traveled all over the planet, meeting all the most influential vampires. I had even met my grandmother, who I avoided making a fuss with. My days and nights were busy—a taste of my life to come. I never wanted to take over the compound, let alone a planet. Juliet was the only thing keeping me sane.
After I was made aware of what I was working towards, I was to secure the Earth for Qadir, and my grandfather would send provisions to make people more amenable to the idea. I handled all the meetings, learned about the watchers, and understood how my father knew every single thing going on. I met Bertram, who would work directly with me on En-gannim. I met all the generals who would manage the world for Qadir, who took over rather quickly. The relations were in good standing after about six months.
I figured Liam had told Juliet about our world, and that's why she had changed so drastically. It all fit; she wanted to come home. I would be the next king, and she would be my wife, not my Queen.
***
Juliet
During the first two weeks when Marcus was gone, I was in a constant panic, locking my doors and checking them twice. Jessy and Kubra were there in shifts, but I didn't know if I could trust Ahasuerus or Qadir to that degree that they wouldn't when they got what they wanted, try and kill me. It wouldn't even be a sacrifice anymore. It would be a single bullet. Michael had no attachment to me, and although I knew he was watching, I knew there was nothing he could do. I stayed up late and fell asleep from utter exhaustion. By the time I registered, Naji was crying, and I had woken up enough to reach the bassinet; he was already manifested and angry. He was sleeping with me, and I would take him to the nursemaid. I walked over the quad and knocked on her door. She opened with a smile, and I didn't mind her as much as Maya. I took Michaels's words to heart—I needed to embrace a new way of living. I would wait outside on the deck chairs and stare at the stars, singing a song to keep myself busy. "In the end… In the end... It's all you… it's all you."
"I'm counting on your love tonight."
I didn't even get up. What was the point? Louis was not a danger to me. Nor could he read me. "How do you get in here?"
"We had a bit too much to drink. Kubra and I. We were outside."
"If I had known, I would've slept better."
"Juliet."
"Yes, Louis? I thought you had an auction coming up."
"It's tomorrow night."
"Who is the lucky girl?"
"I don't know… Someone named Rana."
I dropped my feet over the side of the deck chair in one motion and ended up face-to-face with him, taking in all the implications. It was an alliance with another Ahmed for Avrio. Louis would go back home with his new wife. "Don't," I said breathlessly.
Louis leaned in, piercing me with his most suggestive stare. "Why," he whispered, dropping his eyes to my lips.
"Not good stock."
"You don't even know her."
I huffed and got up. Louis grabbed my wrist. I tugged for him to let go. I couldn't. Why did he touch me? All I had to think about was Marcus sobbing on my chest about how his life turned out. The sounds he made had settled deep in my soul and kept me grounded, "Please let go." Louis reluctantly let my hand slide through his.
Two steps away, I heard a crinkling noise, so I stopped walking. Louis dug into his pocket and took out a packet of cigarettes. I had to decide if I would ask—beg… I wavered, turned slowly, and sat down, "Please, can I have one?"
He smiled, "Not allowed?"
"You kidding, right. I don't even have a TV."
"How do you not go insane in here?"
"Like a wise man once said… We all have to choose our path. This is mine. And nothing… will change my mind."
He held out the packet. I took one. "It's a pity," he whispered.
"Louis, for f—sake, what do you want?"
He held out the lighter, not deterred by my tone or my language. I leaned forward and lit the cigarette. My eyes closed, and I realized I didn't have my veil on. Well, it was too late anyway. "You're a little spitfire underneath that veil. Two different people. I don't know how you cope."
"The psychologist in you trying to figure me out."
He laughed, "If that's what you have to tell yourself."
I turned my head towards him. His elbows were resting on his knees, holding his cigarette between two fingers. Louis was and always will be first in my heart. Yes, I was tempted to ask him to kiss me. The last time, four years ago, we sat in almost the same way and shared a cigarette. "Will you tell me where your mind wandered off to," he asked.
I laughed, "Hell no."
"You undressing me?"
The smile fell, and I stood up, not ready for Louis to put all his moves on me. "Thanks for the cigarette. Good luck with your auction… I would not go there… Hopefully, once you see her, you won't either."
I left him sitting there.
***
Louis
S— I was in love with the girl. Had no idea why, or how, or when… She was a mere child. Regardless, every interaction had drawn me in. She wasn't a mindless woman, and then I saw what she looked like. I had softly and slowly made my way over to the voice singing in the darkness. Her features were lit by the moonlight. She was gorgeous. It was hard to hold myself back from asking if I could kiss her. I took another drag of my cigarette. When I tried to figure out how faithful she was, her face went stone cold… Oh, how I wished I could read her… Even if she was thinking about undressing me, I was sure she would never cheat on Marcus.
I didn't know what to do. The whole situation felt off. Above everything, Juliet was scared—terrified. It oozed out of her. We could all smell it when we were manifested. Without Marcus there, she was vulnerable, and she knew it. I had taken away her protection. I was angry at myself for getting Kubra drunk while she was doing all in her power not to fold. I stood up and went to sit next to the man who had passed out a while ago. He was a cool guy, and we got along from the start. I would sit there and make sure she was okay, hoping she knew I didn't leave.
The gate opened up, and her head peaked out. She sighed, "Thank You."
"Sure. I'll be here. Don't worry."
"Juliet." A woman's voice came from inside. I wondered why she was afraid if she wasn't really alone. It was probably difficult growing up there and very different if you were a woman. Juliet had left the gates open. "Is he done?" The smile on her face about her child. She was such a good mother. She pumped her little hands out to her baby and picked him up to put him on her shoulder. The kid threw up all his milk all over her. "Aghh, boy. What is wrong now?"
"I think it's time he drains someone," the nursemaid said.
"Yeah… I'll do it tomorrow. If we only had… Never mind…"
"Give him to me and go clean up," the nurse took the baby.
"Thank you."
Although the night was clear and warm, Juliet wore a long-sleeved shirt and a big skirt. It was so weird seeing how the women dressed. I raised my voice and sang… "Take me back to the night we met."
"And then I can tell myself," she finished my lyrics.
"What the hell I'm supposed to do?" We both knew it had a double meaning for the situation I found myself in. What she would answer would be what she wanted me to do.
"Haunted by the ghost of you."
Hmm, I didn't like that but smiled and dragged my cigarette. I was so screwed, feeling like doing something stupid.
"Don't think about doing something stupid," she said, closing the door to her room. I laughed nervously... She didn't just know who I was—she knew me… I blew up my cheeks and let my breath out slowly. There really was nothing I could do… except kidnap her.
The door opened again, "I don't like being kidnapped."
I stood to my feet and turned to her. She laughed and closed the door. I felt like running over there, flinging the door open and making her talk or... I sat instead. Juliet already had a difficult life. The path she had chosen was Marcus. "In the end… It's all you." I wondered who or what had made her choose that path.
The following night, I was at the auction. It was such an affair. Qadir had come back for the event. The woman came walking down the red carpet in all her splendor. The men were disgusting, and I couldn't think about Juliet on display. The men were instead going crazy; hands were going up in quick succession. Juliet was definitely safer with Marcus. I stood and wanted to leave. Before I got to the door, Qadir gave his bid. I turned. "For my son. He needs a second wife. A present for all the hard work he will have to put in the next few months." The men cheered. I could either outbid him or let it run its course. I was thinking about Juliet and what it would do to her if Marcus took a second wife.
I raise my hand; Rana was already a pretty sum. It didn't matter. Qadir smiled, and I knew I had fallen into a trap. I cursed under my breath. The place was a political nightmare of constant vigilance and scheming. Why did he want me to marry the woman? No one outbid me, and suddenly, I had a wife. My cousin seemed to want to control me in some way… I had three days… I think Samuel said. The man who raised me seemed disappointed, glaring at me from one of the seats. I winked at him. I kept singing… "I have no regrets at all… Nothing is meant to last..." What's wrong with me? I'd never felt like this. Samuel was the first to come to congratulate me. Rana was escorted out of the hall. Juliet was right; as soon as I saw her and read her mind, it was a firm no. "Louis, you can't be serious."
"Oh, Samuel. It's all a game anyway."
"If you're doing this to disrupt her life." My head came up, and I gave him a look. "Fine… But do not touch her." Oh, Samuel… I already did.
***
Juliet
After I found out Louis had bought himself a wife, I was crying, bawling under my sheets, and yet was glad Marcus wouldn't be home for another few months to witness my meltdown. The news of Louis and Rana had traveled fast among the women about this beautiful paragon no one ever knew even existed. I was alone at home, and there was no moon in the sky. It left my room in pitch-black darkness, and I wasn't even scared anymore. I had also heard Louis was thinking of moving to the compound. It was okay; Marcus and I would leave for En-gannim as soon as he was done with establishing Qadir's reign on Earth. All I had to do was get through the next three days and not do something stupid. I should end this farce! My body shuddered, thinking about seeing Louis and Rana together. It would be too much.
Although I knew choosing only one would leave the rest open to pursue other relationships, I had hoped I wouldn't need to know about it, see it, kind of out of sight, out of mind—ignorant to think my bad luck would not follow me into every life. Or maybe I wished at least I would have time to get used to the idea that I didn't have all of them anymore. It would be so easy to make the same mistakes, and hurting Marcus in any way during this timeline was out of the question. I would not do it again, even if Louis slept with Rana. Memories of Soren and Rana came to mind. If I killed her, Marcus would know something was off.
I jumped up and disappeared and walked right past Jessy at the red gates. Michael would see I had an ability. I got to the stairs leading up to Agatha's house and paused. There would be no way I would be able to find my way through the tunnels; only one way forward. Louis and Samuel stepped out of the house with Qadir and were making their way past me. I could either follow them or go where I wanted. They got in a car, and I stood watching them go; Louis was now his own person with his own life, and we were not a couple. I couldn't accept it, so I kept walking down the road.
The science building came into view. How did Qadir get Rodrigo back this time, and how many babies had to die? It was easy to find my way. In the elevator, I thought about Michael. He wouldn't know what to do about my ability, "Don't worry, Michael, let them see it. It doesn't matter anyway." No way I would put Michael in danger again and ask him to delete the feed. The elevator opened. I stepped through. "It took you long enough. It's been four years."
I frowned and stared at him, "What do you mean?" Rodrigo smiled and opened his arms. I ran and flung myself on his person. He didn't mind, and I clung to him, "How?"
"I'm not fixed in time, remember. Thank you for bringing me back to life."
"I… didn't."
He paused and put me down, resting his hands on my shoulders, "Oh, Juliet, is it that bad."
I nodded, "After you guys died… it went downhill fast. Like six months, and it was all gone."
"What will you do? How many?" he smiled, "Never mind, you don't have to tell me."
"Louis is getting married."
"Oh… You want three days of bliss."
"I could do with weed at this point. Knock me out." He laughed. "Oh… I'm so sorry about Michael."
"No matter. You wanted to save me; I should've listened to you. Qadir and Ahasuerus never did have any patience. It is why Marcus ended up with everything."
"I do hate being right all the time."
"Tough job… Come on, nothing will happen in the next three days."
"I was thinking—"
"Oh no! No thinking… What do you want?"
"I want to travel and see him. For five minutes. Please. Or get him here. Has he manifested yet? You would know."
He shook his head, "Still married."
"Send him back, for heaven's sake. Take the plunge, Ira."
"Is that what you want."
"Yes… In this lifetime anyway."
"Okay… Go home. I'll make it happen, even if I have to kidnap him."
"Funny… Okay, I feel better. Let me know."
"Come see me once a month. How long do you expect to stay."
"Question is, will you go with him to Zoreah this time?"
"Yes… Nothing is going to rip off my head."
"You guys should've told us… I still don't know why and how the lot of you began this crusade."
Rodrigo was quietly staring, "Sam will have to tell you himself… My own fault for being desperate enough to leave."
"No! Whatever you guys planned—I screwed it all up going after one werewolf cub… You know, when I think about it... Changing one night would've changed everything… Unfortunately, so many things happened I can't figure out what needs to change that would mean the greatest success… Why I'm here." I turned to leave feeling better than I had going down there. I tapped on the glass at the last monster—she attacked halfheartedly. "Time you let some go."
"Yeah, Earth will be Qadir's soon... You sure it's the best way."
"Yes… Undoubtedly, it is the best and only thing. The humans are useless and untrustworthy."
"You didn't always feel that way…"
"No, not about two of them anyway. Could you?"
"I already have."
I spun around and walked back while Rodrigo pulled out a phone. Charlene was studying. I smiled at all the pictures of her; she was with friends and happy. I grabbed the phone out of his hand, "They?!"
Rodrigo laughed, "They've been going out for four years."
"No! Really. And his father?"
"Never had a need to pull him in."
He draped his arm around me. "Thank you."
I stopped in front of Kubra's chair. "I'm sorry," I whispered. Should I ask him what he would've done? It's not real, Juliet. They are happy. They are somewhere on Mirach fighting werewolves for the throne. I groaned, hearing Louis coming, walking up the gravel. He sat down next to Kubra and held out a packet. Kubra lit the cigarette quickly.
"Is she less scared?" Louis asked.
"I think so, went to bed early." Louis dragged his cigarette. "I was at the auction… You fumbled that one… Rana will make a terrible wife."
"No, I made a choice and took a path. Qadir wants me off planet. It seems he has other plans for Marcus and me."
"She cried herself to sleep; it happens a lot," Kubra said softly.
Louis didn't answer him, "Why are you not with Marcus?"
"I'm going—as soon as he's back from En-gannim… I was ordered to stay," Kubra gestured with a thumb inside.
Louis nodded, "Marcus and Juliet will leave. Will you go back?"
Kubra dragged his cigarette too long, sat back, and blew the smoke into the air, "I was bred for service. Have to follow my master."
"Want to start a revolution?"
Kubra laughed, "No. Everyone is trying so hard."
"You mean one little girl is," Louis retorted.
"It seems one is all it takes."
I left them there. It was almost time for me to take Naji from the nursemaid. I stopped and looked up at the closed gates, "Oh, s—! What now?" I said out loud. Louis turned suddenly. I pressed my lips together. Should I… "Louis… Could you open the gates for me?" He sat staring at my voice.
Kubra followed his gaze, "What's wrong? You hear something?"
"You're making it really difficult," he said through gritted teeth.
"If you're waiting for an apology, you can forget about it. Now open the gate… please."
Louis huffed and turned away from me, "If you can do that, why the hell are you scared?"
"Tech Louis. The answer is always tech… and time… I don't want to waste four years of my life!" I wanted to strangle him; he wasn't going to bail me out this time around. An irritated laugh escaped my lips as I sat down. I had to wait.
The nurse frantically called for Kubra, letting all formalities drop. He jumped and opened the gate. I rushed in, headed for the deck chairs, and came back immediately, "I'm here… Sorry, I dozed off." All three pairs of eyes looked my way. I wasn't there a moment ago. Couldn't really get away from it. I got up, rubbing my eyes. I held out my hands and took Naji.
Marcus stayed away for an entire year. It was the hardest thing I had to do in all the time I had been there. Louis had moved to the compound and was there all the time; at least, I never saw Rana. No one spoke about their marriage, and I didn't want to know. He had to stay until Qadir's issues were sorted. We spent more and more time together, and Louis even grew fond of Naji. With Qadir and Marcus gone, Samuel took over the compound, and he never left me alone with the man. Something I was grateful for. After Naji quenched his thirst, his manifestations stopped, and he could only eat human food. The nursemaid was not needed, so I sent her back to her family. It was only me in that massive quad. For the first few months, I locked the gates at night so Louis couldn't wander in. I enjoyed the summer months and walked around naked most of the time because it was so freaking hot. I was next to the pool most days. I did find packets of cigarettes pushed under the red gates every few days. After I was so bored and alone, I asked my mom and dad to come move in there. They did, and it gave me more accountability to not cheat because even after everything, I wanted the attention. I was so lonely. Samuel ended up also moving in, and at night, we would sit around the fire; Kubra, Jessy, and Agatha were right there while we talked and laughed. The men drank, and the women joined them most nights. When I drank, Louis didn't, and vice versa—a silent understanding.
The night Marcus came back and stood at the red gates, the crowd went deadly quiet, and I had another choice to make. I could run into his arms and be the kind of woman I never wanted to be or… I stood up and walked to my room, closing the door behind me. I walked over the bridge and closed the door to his room, too. I couldn't be happy because he was suddenly home as quickly as I wanted to. I absently took in the room and listened to the water. 'I never wanted anything more,' I don't know why all Marcus's words haunted me. It was like they were imprinted in my mind to remind me of why I was doing this. I couldn't blame him for the choice I made or be angry for the choice he made to bend…Regardless this life with him left me empty, and it would only get worse once we went to En-gannim, with stricter customs and more rules.
Marcus's room door closed. He tapped on the door between us. Marcus would not have the ability to handle me at that moment. 'Don't let me make the same mistake.' Did giving Marcus everything in the end make him make the same mistake? It wasn't really a mistake if this was the only way. I was wrong and wanted too much out of life—I couldn't submit—not entirely. Marcus would never have the memories of our life together in the real world. I couldn't answer him. I heard him sit down on the other side of the door. My heart was pounding as my feet carried me over the bridge. I sat on the other side like the night we first made love. "I was gone longer than I said I would be." Tears dropped down onto my hands. My sniffles turned to gentle sobs. He opened the door and picked me up, laying me down on his bed. Marcus gathered me in his arms, and I cried myself to sleep rather than asking him if we could fight it out.
The following morning, Marcus tried to kiss me. I pulled away and hurriedly got out of bed. Before I took hold of the handle to close the door, Marcus spoke, "Juliet… If I broke us in any way more than I already have… It would all have been for nothing."
I looked up at him. I was so engrossed in our fake life—I'd forgotten about the real one. "No, Marcus. You are enough… I just need a minute." I closed the door between our rooms. Marcus didn't leave again. I stayed hidden in my room for a few days while he bonded with his son. When it was time for sleep at night, he would come in without asking, scooped me up, and wait till I fell asleep before he did. After a few days, no one else was there anymore. My parents had left. Samuel was back in Canada, and I didn't know what had happened to Louis. Marcus didn't say anything about seeing me without a veil with all the people around the fire. I guessed the fact that his mom was there had made it okay.
After the fourth day of wallowing, I woke up and left through the gates, walking down the lane to see if Agatha was okay. Marcus had treated her so differently during that timeline. He knew Louis could read her mind. It was as if their bond was broken when Qadir wasn't a catalyst anymore. She met me at the door and gave me a letter. I opened it and saw it was in Louis's handwriting.
Qadir is not coming back for some time.
I will stay.
Don't worry about me.
More slow tears absently rolled over my cheeks. Chris was right; if I chose what life we all had to live—a lot of people would be miserable. It was okay now because it wasn't permanent. However, when I did make the choice, my mom, Agatha, and people like Romero and Kubra would be sorely disappointed. I either saved a lot of strangers, or the ones I loved were happy, free, and living their best lives. And like Chris said, we cope with the hand we were dealt—let fate play out.
I looked up at her. It would be the last time I saw her. It had been fun to talk to her around the fire and hear stories about their youth on En-gannim. Marcus had followed me and saw us embracing and crying in each other's arms. She was the first to pull away and open her arms to her son. Marcus reluctantly let go of the façade I saw he had put up to make Qadir happy. It was as difficult for him. Agatha handed me another note. I smiled and opened it.
Thank You for loving him so much.
A strangled sob escaped, and I gave them a moment to say goodbye. Marcus and I walked down the lane in silence.
Everything worked out in the end. Marcus and I went back to En-gannim, where I lived out my days for six more years. Ahasuerus went back with Chris, and I heard he manifested immediately and fell quickly into the customs of the planet. I smiled, thinking about how he would let loose if it wasn't for me, sleeping with anyone who gave him the slightest bit of attention, anything with two legs. I also didn't want to think about it. Michael would have been decommissioned when I left with Marcus. My parents and Sam had to stay on Earth, and it wasn't like I could visit them. Marcus took over, and En-gannim didn't change very much. He regularly went to see Ahasuerus and I was curious to ask him if he had met Chris—but never did. By the tenth full year I had lived that life, I decided it was time. If that was our only course for the future, I could live with it. All the planets were peaceful. Every important person in the story was alive and where they were supposed to be.
I woke up one morning sitting in a chair, staring out at the ocean, thinking about closing my eyes and seeing Caleb again. Marcus was leaving for the day and came to sit next to me. I didn't look at him; our relationship had become an ordinary one. There was nothing I could do about the life he wanted. However, as soon as Ahasuerus left and I was no longer being watched, I stopped wearing a veil and didn't bow anymore. There was never a need because women never went anywhere. I let go of all the customs within limits. It was a dreary, sweet romance with no adventure or issues. I read a lot and asked for books. Marcus brought me many, and I knew where they came from. All the children on Earth would never come home. Marcus handed me a new one for the day. "You should find him a wife," I said.
"Soren? He has a wife."
"What? Who?"
"Oh, remember my uncle. He bought Rana remember when I was off the compound." I didn't want to seem too eager to find out, so I waited patiently. "Louis gifted the bride to Soren."
I snort-laughed, "You don't say. How did Avrio handle that little nugget? Sends his daughter to Earth to be paraded, and she ends up with a bookstore owner." After a moment of silence, I realized what I had said and sighed. I sighed a lot those days. "Anyway, why did I hear it was Louis who got married."
"I don't know who told you?" Well, Louis and Kubra talked about it. I never wanted to make sure. "Louis came back around the same time I did. He said he would love to fill his father's shoes in The Tower. He has been a credit, and together, the transition has been easy… In a way, I'm glad… Louis thought it a good way to put the short, fat guy in his place." I gazed aimlessly out over the pink water. "Juliet… I don't want to seem ungrateful. Because you have given me so much," he leaned over and rubbed my increasing midsection, "You don't seem happy."
"I had to grow up Marcus. It was inevitable. One of us was going to be happy, and this time I chose you." Every time I said something that wouldn't make sense to him, I sighed at my inability to separate the two lives. It did not matter anymore; I was going to end it in the next few days, knowing the real Marcus was still miserable at forty percent. In that life, I was at thirty-five every second.
"I miss the girl I fell in love with. We had one good conversation before I left to help Qadir… when I came back… you were never really the same."
"No… Regardless, believe me… That girl would've broken your heart. And, like you said, you didn't want to rule. Is it so bad for either of us?"
Marcus took out a packet of cigarettes. I frowned. "Louis, he said I should give it to you… I didn't even know you liked it."
"I thought you wouldn't approve."
"Juliet… I am not happy."
He got my attention; I turned my head towards him at last, "Is there something you need?" My gut churned, "If you tell me you're taking another wife—"
He smiled, "No, never... Don't think we will ever have a problem in that regard." I breathed out a heavy breath. Marcus laughed. His smiling lips didn't affect me as they always did, and I realized I had reached the peak of what Chris hated. I guess all of them hated it because Marcus didn't like that Juliet either. You know, everyone wants you to change, and when you do, they are upset about the way you did it, too. A little irritated, I asked, "Then what do you need more than what I've given you?"
He was quiet for some time. He took out a cigarette, handed it to me, and then held out the lighter. Our eyes dug deep into the others as I brought it to life. Marcus was so hot. Every mannerism was with purpose and an alluring air. I moaned, taking the first drag, and he laughed, "Was that for me or the cigarette?"
"I can do both." Marcus cocked a cheeky eyebrow. I leaned back, relishing in the feeling, remembering how Michael had given me my first cigarette. "Do you even like your life," Marcus ventured carefully.
"Like it? I hate it!" I sat up, dumbfounded that I had said it out loud, "Oh, Marcus, I didn't mean it like that."
He lifted a hand, "I know, don't worry. Glad you are honest with me. It is the first time in how many years… Will you tell me at last what is going on?"
"I can't… What would've been the point if I did."
He nodded, "Then the question is not what you can do for me but what I can do for you."
"Nothing Marcus. The one thing about our relationship is one person was always going to draw the short straw. And I told you. You are enough. It doesn't matter what you see, only my heart. I would do anything for you… not almost anything."
"Juliet… I never wanted you to not be at ease… You couldn't even ask me… for a cigarette… You could make life better for yourself."
Tears sprung to my eyes, and my head snapped around. Marcus raised two hands in surrender… How did I tell him I missed Chris, Louis, and Michael so much I wanted to throw him under the bus? In the end, it wasn't even about him not being enough but about the brandings; my body knew who I loved, and I could try and fight it all my life; the hole could only be filled by all of them. Or why I was somewhere in a room to give him what he always wanted and decide how the rest of our lives should've turned out. Ten years was all I could give him before I went entirely out of my mind; I would never be able to do anything halfway—settle. The word made me want to gag.
"I'm going to Zoreah this March before they go to Yaroon." I sat up and glanced around to see if Louis was there. Was Marcus a mind reader? "If you want to go with me. They are moving into the city. Seems like the prince is going in with all the pregnant women. They asked if we wanted a tour?" I nodded eagerly. I would do almost anything to see Chris, even if he and Selena had a brood of kids by the time we got there. My gaze drifted out in front of me, sitting like Marcus had those months. The smile fell off my mouth thinking about it.
"Juliet."
"Please don't… I am happy enough…" I smiled, "I've… gotten used to it."
"You might as well have slapped me."
"I know how you feel." Marcus reached out and stroked my belly. Why was I pregnant? It was weird that going back in time would show me what? Our second child? Oh, that's why I wanted to end it—the delivery—creating a baby not in our timeline—too many consequences.