Chereads / This Is Where I Want To Be / Chapter 95 - Telling Louis

Chapter 95 - Telling Louis

Juliet

"Hey, Rodrigo. You here?" 

"You're late… And two weeks overdue for an appointment." I followed the voice to one of the cubicles where he was cleaning the floor. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I won't be able to do this walk next month. Send a car." 

Rodrigo came over and picked me up. "Are you tired a lot?" I nodded. "You comfy?" 

"On this steel table. No. Can't we get a material one?"

"Sure, I'll put it on the budget… Your husband overseas." 

"Yeah, there is something I need to talk to you about. I had some bleeding this morning." 

He looked worried. "I'll have to do an internal exam. Are you okay with that?"

I shrugged, pulling down my pants. He gave me a gown and helped me into it. He placed a blanket on the table. 

I watched him and snickered. "You planned this." 

He nodded. "You are my first real patient." We both laughed lightly. "So, anything happened that I should know about. Did you stop drinking? Like I said." I nodded. For the last couple of days, anyway. "Smoking and… You and Louis? You guys taking it easy."

I bit my bottom lip. Slowly shaking my head. "Is that what happened? Is he being rough with you?" I was quiet. 

Rodrigo got agitated. "Juliet, you have to tell him. If that monster emerges while… That would break you guys." I was immediately on edge. Louis had shown no signs. His self monstering hadn't come out yet. Except for the few small patches of leather he had on his body. 

"I had not thought about it. He… is different… actually."

"Like you were?" 

I swore loudly. How could I be that stupid? Louis wasn't being an ass.

"Okay. So tonight. No more rough sex. The baby comes first."

He put a condom on the long, probelike sonar thing. I was on my back, and he prepared me for it.

"Have you heard from Michael… Rodrigo?" He always avoided the subject. "You know something. Why won't you say? I need to find him. I'm going a little out of my mind. If Qadir took him after finding out… Where would he stash him?"

"Probably the last place you'll think of."

"I have had this whole compound searched. Even went through with tech to find hidden rooms. And you're still the one thing that doesn't belong."

"Spooky at a distance."

"Exactly." 

The baby's heartbeat went bonkers next to me. My head turned to the screen. "I've even searched in your old house… Where we met. I checked every location that had fighting cages. I let them search Qadir's study to find any clues. Nothing."

"If I don't tell you. Just know I have a very good reason." The way Rodrigo bit the inside of his cheek when I spoke about Michael… made me nervous. "What is it… that you feel for all of them?" He changed the subject.

"I don't know. If anyone was first, it was Michael. He was there before Marcus, watching me for years. I can't even wrap my mind around that. Would you not have fallen in love?" 

"But Marcus was first for you."

"Michael was there right after Marcus branded me. When I was all alone."

"He didn't tell you he was your watcher?" 

I shook my head. "The butler." That made both of us laugh. Rodrigo and I were becoming friends. It was the most outrageous thought. 

I feared Marcus for so long. What he could become. I couldn't live without him anymore. I feared Rodrigo. He was a part of my life. Time really did heal some things. Even if he did know about Michael. I didn't have all the facts. 

I got off the exam table. I had really tried building a relationship with Rodrigo so he would trust me and tell me. If I told Louis, he would come down on the place and make Rodrigo talk. I didn't want that anymore. I might be naïve and ignorant about it. But it felt like damaging that relationship only to find Michael wasn't the right course of action. But it meant I wasn't sleeping well at night. All the reasons were building up. 

***

Soren

I was sitting on her couch in the bookstore… Waiting… It was less than a half-hour, or I would have to go. The thought of not seeing her ever again was depressing. 

The back door pushed open. I was too scared to look up. If it wasn't her… If she couldn't make it. Juliet sat next to me, taking my hand and leaning her head on my shoulder. She would never ask me to stay. The one thing about her. It was all up to me… She turned to me and stroked her fingers through my hair, tying it on top of my head. She handed me a gift. It was small and wrapped. 

"I don't think you have to worry. I'm coming home either way. I will come to find you." I drew in a ragged breath. She knew just what to say, and she meant it. My hands cupped her face, and my lips pressed against hers. "You might have to wait a while… And… If you are married by then. I'll congratulate you." I smiled.

"Soren!" I heard Isla calling me. Juliet didn't get up. She wouldn't get up. 

"Hi, Juliet."

"Hello, Isla."

"Come, Soren. The truck is already waiting. We have to be on the list." 

I nodded and got up. No point in prolonging the inevitable. "Bye, Julie…" 

Juliet was nervously biting her thumb. Nodding. "You'll have to do it, Soren… I can't."

"I know." I pulled her up and kissed her, picking her up in my arms, pressing her into me so hard that our lips had to part, letting my hands run over her back into her hair before I dropped her. She drove me wild…

I did it for her. I just left. 

***

Juliet

I walked up to the main gate of the estate. Damian wasn't hanging anymore but sitting on the grass outside. No eyes, no arms. Constant pain. It felt cruel leaving him there. All I wanted to do was shoot him. My heart was already breaking. I was going to have to tell Louis what was going on. Tell him about Soren.

I walked up to Jessy and held out my hand. He didn't hesitate. He put the gun down on my palm. I pointed it down to the ground and took the safety off. I took a few steps closer and held up the gun, pressing it in between Damian's eyes. 

"Thank You, Juliet." I shot Damian, and he fell down at my feet. 

The noise had echoed through the estate and down into the valley. But no one batted an eye. That was how things went there. I handed the gun back to Jessy. My eyes caught a figure on the steps in front of the main building. My gaze traveled up to Agatha. At least she noticed. We both nodded at each other. She also thought it was time. I strolled up the lane. The trees were lovely. That two-hundred-meter stretch of road meant so much. 

I heard Jessy behind me. I turned to him. "Who gave the order?"

"Kubra." 

I laughed. "And here I thought it was one of my husbands."

"They wouldn't dare…"

"Was that a joke, Jessy?" He shrugged.

***

Louis was home for a change. I could hear him talking to my parents in the kitchen. I couldn't deal with everyone, let alone him… For the next five minutes, anyway. I had to get myself together and disappeared until I was in my room. I was fragile, emotional, and mourning another loss. I closed the door and got into bed, diving deep under covers. I just shot a guy… One that was so cruel to me. Frustrated that Louis wouldn't be able to comfort me but a cause to my turmoil... It was all my own doing… Stupid Juliet. 

The door opened and closed. Louis got into the bed and pulled me underneath him. My pants went and not even all the way. He pulled up my knees, shoving himself in me without asking. Rough and rigid again. I wanted to tell him to stop. I had to. 

"Louis." He did… immediately stopped moving. I was glad that he wasn't berating me again, making it more difficult to unburden myself. Happy he wasn't crying… My heart raced. His eyes cast down at my chest. He put a flat hand on my heart. 

"Can you read me, please?" 

His optimistic blue eyes shot up at my face. He stared into mine for a moment. His eyebrows raised for a second. The bright eyes turned to grey pebbles. Slowly, he pulled out of me. Louis sat up on his knees and backed off the bed, away from me, pulling up his pants, and I did the same. 

"WHAT THE F-! Juliet!!" He roared… So loud that everyone would have heard him. "I was hurting you. Why would you let me?" He spat through gritted teeth. 

I swallowed hard. He kept staring at me. Kept reading me. His eyes were as round as saucers. His heart started racing, and his lips formed a thin line… compressed together… almost white. It looked like he was going to explode. He tried to speak. He wanted to say something and then screamed like I'd never heard him before. "JULIET!! What is wrong with you!!" 

"I don't know. So much was going on, and I was already three months when you returned from your world trip." He stepped back even further. 

"That night in the tub… Juliet, I was so rough that night." His fingers didn't rub his forehead as always when he was upset. They went through his hair as he held it back, peering down at me. He turned away from me and back at me. Agitated. 

"You've been rough ever since… Quickies and… not asking… Last night was… different…." I couldn't finish talking, so I thought about it. I thought about how I felt about him not even being able to look at me anymore. My visit to Rodrigo that day. The blood. 

He stopped breathing. "I made you bleed." 

He spun around on his heels in one spot. As if moving was the only way he could manage not freaking out anymore. After some time, he turned to me… "I… don't know what to say… I have you all to myself. I… didn't think… It's because I wasn't reading you… I'm sorry baby… Why?"

"It's just… I don't mind if that is what you like." He swore loudly, his hand jumping up, covering his eyes... "It just can't be that way… All the time… I need more, and it's starting to hurt the pregnancy." 

I don't think I could have insulted him more. He grabbed his bottom lip between his teeth to stop tears from falling. He was speechless, but he knew I didn't want him to leave. He walked over and sat down on the bed, holding back tears. Holding back his anger. "Why?"

"You were so busy. You didn't want to hear me when I tried talking to you." Louis was as emotional as I was back in France. I felt guilty about forgetting what he had done. Louis was going as crazy as I was. And I was pregnant. It wasn't a good combination. Before he could say anything, a knock came from the door.

"Come in…" It was my mom. She seemed worried. Everyone was behind her. She opened the door even wider. Their gazes traveled from Louis to me. 

"I'm pregnant… It's… Chris's baby." When I said Chris's name, a sob escaped me. "Rodrigo knows where Michael is, and he won't say…." Another sob. "I think he's somewhere in a hole dying." The sadness was too much. "Carl, are you ready?" He nodded and walked over. 

***

Louis

We were both crying. I couldn't watch… as she changed. Gooseflesh covered every part of me as I thought about the last few months. Carl put the mouthpiece on before any more of her would cover up. I didn't even know they found it. Where had I been? I had never seen her being controlled. It would scare the living crap out of me to see her like that. 

My first episode hadn't even happened yet. I had never crossed over. I pushed past everyone. Liam grabbed my arm. "You're leaving now?" I yanked myself away from him. There was really only one place I could go. I made my way to the science building. I knew where he was. Just never thought to go. Why would I want to see him? He fixed Juliet, and that was all he should have done. Listening to myself, I already knew the problem. Listening to Juliet telling me I hurt her… I knew the problem. 

I really didn't like it rough. Not making love, just sex. There was a time for both… But not like that… Not with her. The way I treated her, remembering all of it… I felt like throwing up… I pulled the car over… And I did… At the side of the road. It was only chunks of blood… I swore loudly, coughing… I was turning, but it was different than hers. It was primal when I saw her at night. Or when I came home at all. I didn't care. I wanted her in a brutal way, and I had been. I retched out the door. Not being in her mind had made it worse. I should never have let her go one that long. But again, I knew why I didn't ask or push her to say. Why I didn't, as Chris told me to, "Not let her turn inward again. Don't let her lie… Sort it out." 

He wasn't gone for three months, and I couldn't fill his shoes. Marcus would have stopped it long ago… There would have been accountability. I wouldn't have fallen for the Alpha role. Marcus could handle it… I was free from judging eyes, and I failed the test horribly. 

***

The elevator opened. I walked past all the glass cubicles, entered his workroom, and laid myself on the steel table. Rodrigo was there. He was nervous. Juliet was right. He knew where Michael was. 

I glanced at the corner where Michael had been tied up when Qadir met with him the first time. The second was when Kubra came for the buttons... Michael had been drugged… Tied up and gagged. Rodrigo had no control over his thoughts. Michael wasn't there anymore. He was taken away just after Juliet came the second time. Michael had been there for so long... But I was on a world tour… Too busy. If I had come myself, I would have found the secret room. When I took over, I would have found him. I knew Juliet was searching her little heart out. It also meant that someone in there had done it. Taken orders that were not from me. So, not only did I feel like I hurt Juliet, but I made Michael suffer. He might be dead. 

"I've come for you to end my life." 

Rodrigo laughed. "So, dramatic… You can't die. Who will take care of her? As you can see, there is no one else, Louis."

The thought hit me like a bat to the face. I did this in the first place to be able to protect her. And nothing was settled. No… It would get worse… We could be invaded at any moment. Forced to go back. Or Qadir would use Michael.

"I'm not doing an outstanding job." I sighed. I was going to have to do better. Get control of the new ability that gave me so much power. 

"Let's see about those injections and whether they have made you a little batty. Juliet was here this morning. Told me she would tell you. I was kinda expecting you. Have some of the good stuff ready… I did tell Michael I had never done this with a man… Why he insisted?" Rodrigo kept rambling. "The symptoms are obviously worse for the men. Primal in nature and emotional for the women…

"Who took Michael?" I cut him off. "Didn't you and him have a deal?"

"I don't really have a say when the big guns show up. Would you believe me if I said that Ahasuerus came himself?" 

I had to whistle. "So that is going to be his next play?" The banging sound of my head on the table echoed through the small room, making the animals in the other room go crazy.

"But still. I don't think they know about you and Juliet… So, if I were you, I would keep some cards up my sleeve. Like you have been doing. And you know I'm not lying about that. I have told no one."

"Yeah, but that's the thing. If they think we will become zombies? Why bother at all." 

Rodrigo was quiet, thinking about Marcus. "You should rather ask yourself… What could sever the connection of the brandings, so Marcus is safe…" 

"How much of the branding rights do you know about?"

My head snapped to the side. Juliet's figure emerged from the corridor into the doorway. I couldn't look at her. "So what? You can love me, but I can't love you?" I shook my head from side to side.

I read her thoughts. I needed to know how she really felt. She knew and let me run through that night in the tub and how she enjoyed it. It had her hotter than hell. She never once felt violated until the pregnancy became a problem. The previous night was the first and last time, and that's why she stopped me. 

My hand stretched out to her, and she took it, sitting on a stool Rodrigo had pushed closer. "Baby, there is something else." 

"Oh, my soul, Juliet, how could there be anything else?" 

She didn't say it out loud. My eyes were on her. I smiled and squeezed her hand. "I already knew about Soren. His thoughts were really loud… We already talked about that… But… that was the last time you got to play the "no reading card." You had forsaken those privileges." 

She agreed. "I should've known you were not yourself. I doubted you…"

"Oh, baby no… I'm the grown-up here. I should have been more responsible. I had chosen to protect you, not to hurt you…." The lights went out. The drugs had finally kicked in.