"A what monitor?" I asked the strange girl tht was in front of me since I had little to no clue as to what that meant. That, was obviously a lie on my part. I knew what DnD was, it was a really famous thing when I used to still have life in my veins, and mettle in my heart.
Nonetheless, two words which are "dungeon" and "monitor" being together does mean something rather important. "And so you want me to take worlds, in the name of your so-called "emperor" . . . am I getting this right?" I gave a genuine question since it's been a while since I had the internet within my prison. I knew not what was the current trend of e-literature that was blasting through then but it might have been flavorful to some extent.
"Exactly so mortal! You're not as dumb as I had originally anticipated!" she mocked me for my very droll answer. I will admit that it may have been a dumb one, but it was just one answer for crying out loud.
"And what of the chances for me to say no? What then? My destruction? My soul being torn asunder for someone like me knowing of the existence of worlds beyond my own? Tell me, will you and your "emperor" destroy me?" I asked the feminine sprite with a genuine question as it then stopped speaking for a while as it then answered "Well . . . yes? My emperor is not very fond of letting potential servants go, after all, being such an eruditely man such as your-" and as she was talking I couldn't help but get even more annoyed by it.
"Spare me the ass kissing and give it to me straight. I'm crossing a Rubicon here, it's not exactly the easiest of decisions to choose to become an interdimensional conqueror of sorts." I gave the basics as the sprite then flashed to a bright white as I was technically blinded. It felt hot, my skin almost getting seared, but it ended after a short while, where I was now greeted by the sight of a child . . . wearing something out of an Asian historical drama telenovela?
"Hmmmph, younglings like you should know when to respect your elders!" the now actually female sprite then said as I was more confused than anything. "Your facial features, you're not exactly from my Earth aren't you?" I made an obvious guess as she then hummed in affirmation as she then twirled around to show off her clothes.
They were very flowy, but it didn't really come off as something along the lines of over the top. Rather they didn't really seem like the best things to wear if you were trying to get a fresh hire, you get me?
" . . . And what exactly was that supposed to do? Make me get slightly more annoyed by flowy clothing?" I asked her as she shook her head as she said "Hmm, you really should be a lot less stuck up, it's not all that great for you." as she then looked at my prison attire.
Classical orange jumpsuit, nothing new aside from the chest pocket that I freshly sewed onto it. "And you're the one who's saying that my clothing is tacky." she jeered as I then looked at her with a dead gaze as I put my glasses on and then patted off my jumpsuit. " Not exactly catching me at my best moments you know? You brought me out of my prison cell while I was just about to finish a fine story about a modern day story about a young boy who loves mysteries that has Asperger's." I said as I then cleared my throat as she was curious about something I said.
"What is this Asperger's you speak of mortal? This Heavenly Venerable knows of many diseases, but never of something like this." she inquired and then kissed her own ass again since she didn't really seem to want to do anything else aside from that. "The basics is that they're more computer-like, but they're not good at social interactions. And it's not a disease, it's a disorder. They're wired different is all." I answered her question as she then gave me an eyeroll as she then pulled out literal parchment paper out of fucking nowhere as I raised an eyebrow, or did my best to do so at least.
"This contract is one made by my emperor himself, and will allow you to become one of our sla- I mean servants." she said as I was getting more and more suspicious about what exactly was wrong with this girl. She's still trying to see if I'll bite for the slavery.
Alright let's think about this. First and foremost, if I don't take this, then they'll destroy my soul, possibly. Second, if I do take it, I'm enslaved to a world conqueror and his possibly brain damaged female edgelord. I do not know what this mortal or "heavenly venerable" talk even is, I'm more of a western type man, but seeing her literally turn from a sprite to the closest thing to the most beautiful woman in the world, subjectively, it's pretty damning evidence that she's got powers. That, or I'm having an extremely odd dream and should try to call the prison psychiatrist about this.
I've heard from Maxon that he's been having weird dreams about the zombie apocalypse lately, don't know what's all that business about but it affected him pretty badly. So what'll it be? Safety but slavery? Or destruction and freedom? The answer? Neither. "May I see that contract?" I asked her as I then took the paper out of her hands as she acted like a child and tried to take it from me. Thankfully, I noticed an old clause within it.
" "Should the contracted individual ever come to see the test contract, they are privy to the actual contract which shall be given by the contractor". So this was a test is what your "emperor" was saying. Also, I would normally think that clauses within contracts would be a lot more . . . complex compared to this." I said to her as she then fell down to the ground and looked at me as she then squatted and started to draw circles into the literal nothingness that we were standing on, I really don't get this.
"We- I, wanted to give my emperor a better slave for him to work with, but he also told me to reward the smarter ones at the very least." she said as she then looked up, pouted at me and had tears that were threatening to go down and mar her face.
"You shouldn't be such a bully at your age!" she said to me as I assumed that she was an ancient . . . deity of some sorts? She doesn't quite come off as a deity type considering the amount of mythos that our world had. She didn't fit the bill with this odd image of childishness and annoying behavior. It's either that, or she's a damn good liar and she's more of a Loki/Anansi type, I wouldn't know, since she then pulled out a fucking business card and handed it to me.
"This card represents your status within the "Company" that my emperor has created. Please put it on your chest to show the pride and cunning that you have cultivated to get to this point in your measly life!" she said as she threw right at me, breaking my glasses.
She's fucking pissing me off, goddess or not.