Xie Yuan sightlessly watched the violent storm as it raged outside. His heart felt sore and he couldn't settle down. Xiao Xue told him not to follow her, why? If she's visiting the Master's shrine, she wouldn't have asked him to stay behind. It wouldn't be the first time he accompanied her on one of her visits. But something's different this time. What is it? He noticed she'd been anxious all morning. She kept looking outside, as if checking or waiting for something.
Xie Yuan paced around worriedly as thunder rumbled on the horizon. It's been hours since she left. She should have reached the shrine by now or perhaps already resting at the cave. With the storm, it would be colder up the mountains. He hoped she had enough firewood to keep her warm through the night. It would be bad if she caught a chill.
Xie Yuan suddenly stopped in his tracks, his face turning pale. "Too cold…" he muttered, understanding finally dawning on him. He didn't waste time and immediately flashed outside.
Xie Yuan tried to fly up the mountain at his fastest speed but the storm slowed his ascent.
How could he have been so negligent? Xie Yuan fiercely berated himself as he anxiously scanned the path that Xiao Xue usually takes, afraid he'd find her hurt along the way. He should have known! He should have been more careful!
When he finally arrived, Xie Yuan could hear the low mournful cries echoing inside the cave. He followed the sounds and found Xiao Xue shrunk into a ball, with both hands holding her left leg. Her back and forehead were covered with sweat, her face frighteningly pale. She was biting her lip, hard enough to draw blood. But regardless of the pain she was under she did not call out to anyone for help.
Xie Yuan's heart felt miserable at the sight as he silently willed her to call out to him. As if sensing his presence, Xiao Xue tiredly lifted her head. She sucked in a harsh breath as her tortured gaze met his.
Xie Yuan did not say anything, he couldn't. He moved to where she was and gently lifted her in his arms. Her body trembled like a leaf in the wind but thankfully she did not struggle against his hold.
"It's all right, Little Xue." He whispered softly by her ear. "I am here."
Xie Yuan slowly infused spiritual energy on her back and helped her circulate it through her body, paying close attention to her injured leg. He wanted to be angry, to shout and reprimand her, but he could not do it.
Truth be told, he was more infuriated with himself! He should have known this would happen. He should have anticipated this kind of situation. But because everything was going smoothly, he grew complacent and overlooked certain things.
To say that he doesn't care about physical appearance would be a lie, anyone who has eyes and could see would prefer to look at beautiful things. But with Xiao Xue, Xie Yuan tends not to notice any deficiency. When he looks at her, he barely notices the scars on her face. All he could see were her kind eyes and warm-hearted smile.
Xie Yuan knows there's a problem with her body and it's not like he's trying to pretend it's not there. But when he looks at her all he could see is the woman he loved and nothing else. No scars, no flaw, no imperfection.
Xie Yuan wanted to ask Xiao Xue, numerous times, about her injuries. Not for anything but to be able to care for her better. And just when he thought he was doing a good job taking care of her, this situation happened. And it makes him feel angry and ashamed.
The storm raged through the night. Halfway through Xiao Xue fell asleep in his arms, exhausted. Xie Yuan did not stop infusing her body with spiritual energy. He was afraid the pain would wake her.
How many nights did she spend, alone, like this? Will she continue to endure such torture in the future? No, not if he can do something about it! Xie Yuan decided once they leave the temple the first thing they'd do would be to find a way to mend Xiao Xue's injured leg. They have to figure out how they could nourish her body so situations like this would not happen again.
Xiao Xue woke up at dawn and found herself still wrapped in Xie Yuan's embrace. Oddly enough, she did not want to move. She could feel the warm energy emanating from his palm on her back. The soothing current flowed from his body to hers, easing the tension of her injured nerves and greatly relieving her pain. She should stop him. He was still recuperating and what he was doing could hurt him.
But for the first time since she arrived in this world, Xiao Xue felt safe and protected. And for the first time in her life, she wanted to be selfish. Xiao Xue wanted this feeling, this moment with Xie Yuan, to last even for a breath longer.
Xie Yuan didn't want to head down the mountain until he was certain Xiao Xue's leg was not in pain anymore. She would not allow him to carry her so they had to compromise. They stayed at the cave for another day before heading back to the temple.
After that night, the atmosphere between the two became awkward. Xiao Xue noticed that Xie Yuan was upset and was more subdued than usual. He spent more time cultivating alone in his room instead of accompanying her like he did before the incident.
The more distant Xie Yuan behaved the more confused and troubled Xiao Xue became. She wanted to apologize, to coax him, but didn't how. She'd never dealt with someone like him before. The way he sulked was foreign to her and the things she'd tried to cajole him into a better mood didn't work.
If only she knew exactly what he's upset about perhaps she would have an idea on how to coax him. Xiao Xue understands the root of the problem was about going to the mountain during the storm. But what about it, exactly, she has no clue. Her leg has always been a problem. It pains her if the weather turns cold and it's pure torture when there's a storm or snow. Her master had taught her how to brew a special medicine that could alleviate the pain but she used all the herbs she gathered on Xie Yuan. She thought she'd have time to gather more herbs for herself but the weather thought otherwise. She didn't want to agitate him so she braved going up the mountain alone. She would rather suffer without him knowing than allow him to see her like that.
When she left, she arrogantly told him not to follow her but he ended up going after her anyway. Was it because of this that he's upset with her? Or maybe because he expended a lot of spiritual energy in order to help her and got hurt in the process? For cultivators conserving spiritual energy is a must. Xie Yuan recently suffered an injury and was not at full strength. Her thoughtlessness caused more delay in his recovery, perhaps that's the reason why he's upset.
If Xie Yuan was aware of Xiao Xue's erroneous thoughts he would want to strangle her. Excluding the issue with the herbs, the main reason he's upset was because she didn't trust him enough to ask for his help. She kept her pain to herself and that bothered him more than he thought it would.
In truth, they barely know each other. But no one understands Xiao Xue's kind nature more than him. Xiao Xue likes helping people. She's used to indulging people's whims and giving her best to accommodate them. But she's exasperatingly unkind to herself!
Xie Yuan could easily guess why she braved the storm and went up the mountain alone. Xiao Xue didn't want him to know that her leg would hurt when it's too cold. She didn't want him to worry and feel obligated to help her. But what she doesn't understand is, he wants to help her. He wanted her to rely on him. To seek his support when she's in pain and ask him for assistance when she's troubled.
In short, Xie Yuan wanted to share everything with Xiao Xue. But from her recent actions, it appears she doesn't feel the same and that upsets him.
"Big Brother Yuan…"
Xie Yuan glanced at her but did not say anything. Xiao Xue was used to his warm and friendly temperament so his indifferent behavior was new to her. This time, she admits she was wrong. But how could she reason with him if he's not talking to her? The more withdrawn Xie Yuan seems, the harder it was for her to talk to him. She's afraid he might leave while things between them are unresolved and that would be a great shame. She wanted to part amicably and this gloomy atmosphere between them was disheartening.
Xie Yuan noticed her despondent behavior. He doesn't want to make her sad but Xiao Xue has to learn the lesson now otherwise it would be harder for him later. This time he managed to figure out the problem but what would happen if he cannot? Just the thought of not knowing if something is wrong with her even when he's beside her terrifies him. Xie Yuan doesn't want to be kept in the dark while Xiao Xue suffers alone.
But it was easier said than done. Xie Yuan was resolved to teach Xiao Xue this lesson but seeing the unshed tears on the corner of her eyes, his heart was not strong enough to endure. One hand gently reached out to cover her eyes while the other pulled her body close to his chest.
Xiao Xue has always been alone so her experience and interactions with people are limited. Perhaps he was going about this the wrong way. She probably would not understand what he's trying to convey unless he directly tells her.
"Don't do it again." He said softly but firmly, resting his chin on the crown of her head. "Promise me, you will not keep such things from me. If something is wrong, no matter what it is, you have to tell me. We'll figure it out together. I want us to share everything."
Xie Yuan could let her stew for a while more but he'd only be punishing himself. It's been hard on him as well, trying to act distant when all he wants to do is hold her close. Xie Yuan is not one to suffer anything when he can do something to remedy the situation.
Xiao Xue straightened her back and removed the hand covering her eyes. She watched him closely before hesitantly asking, "You're not upset anymore?"
"Do you promise not to do it again?" He asked back instead of answering her question.
She didn't think too hard when she nodded, "Yes, I promise."
Xie Yuan looked at her clear eyes and sighed. When it comes to her he's really too easy. He pulled her back into his arms and said, "As long as you promise then I'm not upset anymore."