The walk back to the courtyard was silent but no longer awkward. Xie Yuan and Xiao Xue were lost in their own thoughts. If they set aside what happened at the cave, they could pretend they were taking a stroll through the forest and admiring the moon.
But it's not easy to forget, especially for Xie Yuan. Frankly, he does not want to forget. Never. And he will not permit Xiao Xue to brush the situation aside either. Once his head cooled down, he worked out a perfect scheme to capture his rather oblivious bride.
"I'll take responsibility."
Xiao Xue froze midstride, unsure if she heard him correctly. "What?" She asked warily.
"I'll take responsibility." Xie Yuan repeated, calmly staring at her suddenly pale face. "Let's get married."
This wasn't how he pictured his proposal to her would be. He's been debating on what to do or should be done and of all the plans he came up with, this course was the fastest in order to make Xiao Xue his wife.
Frankly, he doesn't want to bully her into marriage but at the rate they're progressing it might take years, perhaps an entire lifetime, before Xiao Xue considers him as a potential dao companion. And though he could wait for her, he does not want to wait that long!
Xiao Xue is not the type to fuss about boundaries between men and women. He recognized the fact from the moment she saved him. From his observation, she seems to believe he would not classify her as a potential cultivation partner. He's been giving her hints here and there but she seems to be too dense to notice that he's trying to woo her. Therefore, he needs to strike while the iron is hot. What happened at the hot spring gave him the opening he needed to discuss and cement their future together. Even if she doesn't care about boundaries, he could argue that he does. Of course, even if he did not see her bathing there's no way he would allow his Little Xue to marry anyone or pair up with someone other than him.
The only disadvantage of this scheme is Xiao Xue would think he's being forced to marry due to circumstances, she's adorably foolish that way, and it would affect her willingness to fully commit to him. Based on what Xie Yuan knows of her, Xiao Xue would somehow convince herself that she's doing him a great disservice if she agrees to marry him. But what his unwitting bride doesn't understand is that in actual fact she's the one being trapped into marriage by him.
Now that their situation has developed to this point, Xie Yuan doesn't care who's trapping who as long as it leads to marriage. As long as he secures Xiao Xue as his wife he wouldn't fuss about the details. The rest could and would follow after everything is arranged. The most important thing to him is to get Xiao Xue to marry him.
"Tomorrow we'll find a matchmaker, we'll choose a day and get married. Then..." Xie Yuan stated. His tone was firm, barring any form of objection.
"Wait!" Xiao Xue raised her hand to cut him off. She stared at him, aghast, like it's the first time she's seen him. "What are you talking about?"
Xie Yuan looked her in the eyes and held her hands before speaking solemnly, "Little Xue, we can't pretend nothing happened. I will not allow it. This is more than a matter of propriety, it's a matter of honor. The best course for us would be to get married."
He's holding her hand and was lazily tracing small circles on her palm with his thumb, again. Whenever Xie Yuan does this, it befuddles her mind until Xiao Xue can barely think straight. Xiao Xue regrets the times she allowed him such liberties thinking it was nothing harmful. She can't be in a muddle, not right now. Someone has to stay sensible and it has to be her because apparently, he's gone insane!
Xiao Xue lightly swatted Xie Yuan's misbehaving hand and moved a few steps away from him to gain some breathing space. If he's determined to see this madness through then she has to force him to see reason.
"You can't marry me!" She declared steadily.
"Why not?"
She could see his temper flare up but this time it did not intimidate her. He must have suffered a lapse of judgement to suggest such a thing. He cannot be serious! Setting aside his status as the Young Master of Divine Martial Sect, Xie Yuan is a young, powerful cultivator with a bright future ahead of him. His prospects are limitless and someone like her is not fit to marry him.
"Do you really need to ask?" She snarled irritably.
"Yes, I do because I do not understand why I cannot marry you." He closed the distance between them, grabbed her waist and gently lifted her chin to make her look at him. Her eyes haven't met his from the moment they started this conversation and he wants to see every spark of reaction she exhibits so he could easily counter it. "You are a woman, I am a man. You are not promised to another and so am I. I want to marry you, why can I not? Unless you have a good reason, I will not permit you to cast me aside!"
After hearing those words instead of calming down Xiao Xue panicked and struggled against his hold. When he did not let her go she furiously turned her face away, unwilling to play along.
"Stop this nonsense!" She chided him like she would a spoiled child. "I'm not fit to be your wife. We will not speak of this matter again. Let me go!"
"No." Xie Yuan said, holding her closer, tighter, gently stroking her taut nerves.
Xiao Xue's reaction was more severe than he anticipated. What does she mean when she said she is not fit to be his wife? From those words alone Xie Yuan could point out where the problem lies. It was petty and not even worth mentioning in his eyes but to hers, it's as vast and cumbersome as the Black Highlands. Perhaps she doesn't realize it herself but he could see it clearly. And it irritates him to think that his little fool actually thinks he's a shallow man.
Xiao Xue breathed in and out harshly trying to compose herself but she cannot do it. She has to persuade Xie Yuan off the ridiculous notion of marriage or they would both be ruined!
"You are the next head of Divine Martial Sect, a talent whose future path leads to endless possibilities." Xiao Xue articulated sensibly. "You are blessed with wealth, strength and prestige. You cannot mean to abandon your future and disappoint everyone's expectations just because of an unfortunate accident that's not even worth mentioning. I appreciate the gesture but I cannot agree to your proposal. You will have a wife who matches you in every way, someone who can stand on even ground with you, and that person cannot be me. I am not qualified to be your wife."
"You are not someone who looks at a person's status nor cares for their wealth or power. Why are you alluding to those nonsensical things now?" Those words are nothing but petty excuses. Someone like her, who does not care for material things, would never be intimidated by his so-called status. "If you strip me bare, I am nothing but a man. I am made of flesh and blood just like you. Tell me, Little Xue, what is it about you that does not fit me?"
"I am bound to ruin you and you will regret it!" She snapped irritably. This time when she struggled, he let her go afraid she would hurt herself if he restrained her. She took cautious steps back before turning away from him.
Why doesn't he understand? In the continent of Lyra, where strength and beauty reigns supreme, there is no space for someone like her. She lived outside the valley before her master took her in. People could be cruel. It's human nature. When she arrived on this world it was on a disabled body of a child who does not even remember her own name. Even then she did not receive any form of consideration, not for her age, small size or unfortunate circumstance. It's been ten years since she crossed over and the label of being 'trash' has never left her. It would never leave her.
When Xie Yuan arrived, he bore with her situation magnanimously. He managed to accomplish things she never would have thought possible if she did not meet him. But although the actions of people have changed their hearts have not and the look in their eyes have not. The situation in the temple is just a prelude of what's out there.
Right now, everything is contained within the valley. Xie Yuan doesn't feel oppressed because he could control the situation using his lofty station and innate strength but once they go to other places it would only be a matter of time. Xie Yuan cannot reason or fight with the whole world to defend her, not all the time and certainly not for the rest of his life. There would be a day when he would get tired and she would be forced to wear a mask to conceal herself and to save his pride.
Xie Yuan doesn't realize it now but he will regret being with her. Instead of waiting for that eventuality to happen, why not cut it off and be done with it right now to save them both from the heartache?