Mᴀʀᴄʜ 8, 2024
It's late in the evening and Phillip is confused, also concerned about what's going on with Alexa's behaviour. A month ago was the first time he had heard her talk about her mother and he offered to cuddle with her. He spooned her while knowing that if he was caught sleeping in her room, he'd be punished.
Alexa was moody when they woke up, or so she made it look. She gave him the cold shoulder in the morning, he thought maybe because he offended her in the night and she warmed up to him later that day. He thought...
Every night after that, she would refuse to let him in, although he had no intentions to continue experimenting, but went to her room out of habit. She wouldn't know that anyway. She became cold at night and would pretend like nothing is wrong during the day, which he had been playing along with, until....now.
He doesn't know what to think. Is she going through a phase? What is going on inside her head? Is she okay, or suffering alone, hiding it with the smiles she gives him?
Is this how she felt when he wouldn't tell her his thoughts after he left her hanging that one night...?
He knocks at her door.
It opens seconds later and she peeks through her shaggy bangs at him, commenting, "You're here earlier than usual."
He says nothing. She opens the door wider to let him in, then locks it, swinging around to face him, but he still hasn't turned around yet. A lot is on his mind. She stares at his unmoving form, everything about her neutral, but the curiosity runs deep within. Alexa tilts her head in observation before acknowledging that something is definitely off. Not to be brash, but Phillipeño would normally be all over her by now.
She sees his rejection when he spins on his heels and before he can voice it, she blurts, "Why not?!"
"Because!" He responds as loud as she began, then adds lowly, "After the night we basically had dry sex, I felt..." He breathes, "...guilty. I still feel guilty now for doing what I did that night. I always kept in mind a promise I made to myself way before I...was...a-aban..."
"Abandoned."
He lets out a harsh sigh and continues, "I've always wanted my first time to be with someone I love. Even though it was when I was a little kid, I still wish for that..."
Love? "Love?" She questions. He nods. "So, you don't love me?"
"Yes, yes, I do, but not like that." Phillip rushes out, causing her to frown. Alexa doesn't understand what he means. What's the difference? Love is just... a flashback of what she's seen between her mother and Sebastian floats around her head... love. "I have feelings for you, Lexy," He admits, "but, they're not strong enough for me to give you what you want."
How does he know what love is? She looks up at him with doe like eyes. "I love you."
"You don't." He mutters and she steps up to him challengingly. He opens his eyes, which always seem to be staring far away and he repeats, "You don't..."
She looks away, biting her lip and her eyes fall to the floor. "I have weird feelings towards you too." Alexa nervously swipes her bangs to the side behind her ears; something she hasn't done before. Is she shy?
When Phillip moves impossibly close to her, she trembles with vulnerability. He place both his hands on her small shoulders and leans down to her left ear, "I can't give you what you want exactly, but I can still make you cum." He says. She shivers, squeezing her legs together unconsciously. "If you want—"
"I want it." The words fly out quickly and he smiles coily.
Now she knows why he never really made a move to take off his clothes and now she gets why he automatically just wanted to pleasure her, instead of her him. It still doesn't change anything in Alexa's mind...she might not understand a lot of things, but she's always mainly looking forward to experimenting.