Before we sat down I decided to go to the bathroom. As I washed my hands I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I knew being here with Vasili was all fun and games, but a huge part of me was afraid of going home. I loved my family but at the same time, the way they had looked at me when Selena left was heart breaking. We were all so hopeful she would be the one for me.
At first I never cared, Marco was a playboy just like me till he met my sister. All my friends had stable girlfriends or were married besides Pablo but he simply was not like us. He was the nicest guy I knew and so many girls adored him. He definitely was no playboy and was the most respectful guy too. It was only a matter of time before he met someone for him.
I dried my hands and fixed the tie on my suit. 'Just survive this dinner Ed. Then you are free' I thought to myself as I walked back to the dining room. Mary had cooked lamb chops with a lovely salad since that was what I preferred, carrots and for dessert a lovely Oreo cheesecake which looked very appetizing.
"Mary you have out done yourself," I complimented. The lamb chops had a lovely garlic and rosemary taste to it that sent my taste buds dancing.
"Thank you. Vasili never notices the taste just vacuums the food. I'm surprised he has not eaten the plate itself sometimes," she rolled her eyes. I looked at Vasili and she was right. He was practically stuffing his face.
He looked at us like a deer caught in headlights then quickly gulped, "I have a dancer's body. We eat a lot." He had a point. Vasili had a pose not many had, his back was straight, his shoulders always slightly behind and his head held high with pride.
Sure he had injured himself a few months ago and could not dance but he still had it in him. Even the way he walked was fluid and seemed like a dance. A tough Russian, highly intimidating dance that could cuss you out if you annoyed him slightly.
"No wonder you can't go back to dance. You've become too heavy," she laughed. Vasili laughed too but for a split second I noticed something flash in his eyes; hurt, pain and sadness. I was not that old but I had lived long enough to read a person's face without having to look deeply into it. His jaw ticked slightly as he carried on eating. Dance was a very sensitive topic to him.
We continued with meaningless talk, mostly joking around till dinner was over. Mary excused herself and went to get an early night in since she had a flight to France tomorrow. That left Vasili and I sitting outside enjoying a few drinks. Vodka for him and I just opted for a fizzy drink. If I drank anymore this week I would literally die from hangovers.
Since Mary's little joke about him being unable to dance, he had been tense. Yes, he laughed and teased, but his smile seemed forced. I felt bad for him.
"She doesn't understand me," he sighed surprising me.
"Mary?" I questioned loosening my tie since at this point it was strangling me.
"Yes. I love her don't get me wrong. I can't imagine life without her, but since my accident she just doesn't understand. Ballet was my life and it was ripped away from me. That is something I can never get over," his voice was so soft, if I was not looking at his face I would have thought I was talking to someone else. I kept quiet just letting what he had said sink in.
"Have you tried talking to her?"
"In my family we don't talk. Never has been an option," he shrugged taking a sip of his drink.
"No wonder you have so many problems. Look I like to think of myself as a tough man myself but recently I have discovered if you don't talk, you won't get anywhere in life. It's like business, if Yavok did not tell me he did not approve of the plans at first we would have carried on till it was too late, then we would have a bigger problem. It's a snow ball effect at the end of the day. If you don't talk to her one day you are just going to snap and loose her forever."
"You speak like a man with experience," he looked at me with a slight grin.
"I've been through a lot," I chuckled and leaned back against the chair. The air was cold but refreshing. A slight breeze tickled my skin now and then. It was calming.
"I don't even know why I told you all of that. I'm not the emotional sappy kind," he laughed deeply.
"I'm hypnotizing," I smirked facing him. Our eyes locked and it felt like I was falling into his blue orbs. I thought I had seen beautiful eyes in my life but there was something about Vasili's I found magnificent. We both realized we were staring for too long, I cleared my throat and looked away quickly. That was awkward.
From the corner of my eye I saw his face. He was staring down to the ground with a thoughtful expression; he seemed confused and lost. I wondered, what was that about? His cheeks had a light blush that always seemed to form when I complimented myself. Maybe he was not comfortable around me? That was the only excuse.
Later on that evening I was back in my hotel room after John had picked me up. I took a shower since my muscles ached. Once again I had that pit in my stomach that never seemed to go away. It was like I had butterflies but they were dead. Funny, I know but what other way could I describe it.
Watching Mary and Vasili made me feel awfully lonely. These days I had been questioning myself so much and every decision I had made in life. I chased after success so much that I barely had a life. Maybe if I decided to not take over the family company and find my own path like Amanda I would be happy. I could have found a woman by now to love and had a family. I would not be one of the top richest men but at least I would feel like that with love.
I prided myself so much for being a rock, for being strong and well tamed, but the more I thought about it; I was so far from that. Even though the warm water running down my body was distracting I could still feel the tears rolling down my eyes. 'Why did no one want to love me? Was I that bad that I had lived my whole life without a companion who wanted to spend forever with me?'
It felt like I was crumpling to the floor as my knees gave out. I pulled my legs to my chest as my back leaned against the wall. All I could do was cry. All I could do was sob as I broke down all over again. The feeling was terrible and haunting.
Would I ever be the same again?
Once I had gathered my emotions and felt strong enough to walk I turned off the shower and dried my body. When my eyes caught my reflection I cringed at the sight. I looked like a mess. There were dark bags under my eyes and my face was red. My hair was untamed and in all types of directions I barely recognised myself. Yet what truly caught my breath, was the dark bruise on my neck.
It had been two days since my night with Bethany and this morning any visible sign of our interaction was gone. Where had this one come from?
Before my mind could process any further I heard a knock from the door. I sighed and quickly put on a pair of sweatpants with no shirt and went to answer it. When I looked through the peep hole I saw Vasili standing there.
"Vasili what are you..." before I could finish my question he barged in and pushed me against the wall. I was so stunned I did not even notice him close the door behind us. "Vasili are you crazy?" I hissed as he stood before me. His blue eyes were dark and frightened. I opened my mouth to speak again when suddenly I felt a pair of lips on my own.
I could barely move as he kissed me. Even though his hands were rough as they held my hips against the wall his lips were soft and gentle. I was frozen in a state of panic. The taste of vodka was still on his lips as he kissed me. He was drunk and thought it would be a good idea to kiss me. After a few seconds he finally noticed I was not kissing him back.
He pulled away immediately as if I had burned him and moved so there was at least two meters between us. My eyes were huge and my heart was beating in my chest rapidly, threatening to jump out and run for the hills. What the hell had just happened? I looked at Vasili to find he was no longer there. I turned my head and found his body thrown on the couch. With hesitant steps I walked towards him, only to find him knocked out on the couch snoring lightly.
I just stood there, looking down at his body, but my mind was going a thousand miles per hour. Deep inside of me I wanted to wake him up and cuss him out for kissing me, but I could not. The feeling of his lips on mine repulsed me, but not as much as I thought it would. I felt drained and just defeated for the day that I left him. I went to my bedroom and went to sleep with the taste of vodka still present on my lips.
When I woke up I showered and dressed in a grey suit. I would be flying back to London in a few hours which gave me enough time to eat breakfast. When I stepped out of my bedroom I was shocked to find Vasili still sleeping on the couch. I had hoped he would have left during the night.
"Vasili," I said and poked his side. He seemed to be a light sleeper since his eyes flung open. He looked confused till his eyes landed on me.
"Ed? What am I doing here?" he groaned as he sat up and looked at his surroundings. His voice was deep and raspy. Great, not only did he kiss me but he remembered nothing as well. Just my fucking lucky day.
I debated if I should tell him about last night. I wanted to ignore it, but what if he decided to pull another stunt like that again? He seemed like the type to do dumb shit when he was drunk. Plus I did prefer to go straight to the point than beating around the bush. "You came here drunk as an arse than proceeded to kiss me, which I did not appreciate one bit. I am as straight as a granite pole. It does not bend, but breaks into two straight poles when you try to bend it. So I would appreciate it if you never kissed me again."
Vasili looked at me with sheer terror as he probably remembered the events of last night. He groaned and put his hands on his face. "I was drunk clearly I was not thinking straight."
"Straight is not a word I would describe you to be. I don't know what gay desires you have, but I would appreciate it if you did not use me as an experiment," by now my arms were folded across my chest in a defensive manner.
"I'm not gay! I don't know what the hell happened last night, but I can assure you I am in love with Mary. I feel no attraction to you or any other male in fact so you can stop flattering yourself," he snapped standing up. Since he was a tad bit shorter I made a point by deliberately looking down at him.
I sucked my teeth and heard myself growl lowly as I stepped forward. He gulped and tried to step back, but hit the couch and fell down onto it. "Listen here you wanna be tough Russian boy. I never flatter myself, because I know I am great. I know I am handsome and rich. I could ruin a person's life in a snap of a finger, and don't tempt me to do the same to you.
"You come here. In my room at midnight and choose to harass me by putting your alcohol filled mouth on mine then proceed to insult me after I show my hospitality. I could have kicked you out, called your brother and ended whatever contract we had. Yet I decided to let you sleep it off and not beat you to a plump. I know you think I am just a pretty boy that is all bark with no bite, but I can assure you I will bite," I threatened. If a person thought he was pale before one would be shocked at how he looked now. His face ashen and he resembled a ghost.
I wanted to punch him for disrespecting me but when I saw how scared he looked I instantly calmed down. His blue eyes were huge as he looked up at me. My mind told me to treat him no differently, but my heart hated the idea. I did not want to hurt him, but he needed to know I was no fool.
"I'm sorry," his voice was soft and from the way, he looked he was on the verge of breaking down and crying. I sighed and knelt down to him.
"It's okay. Go to the bathroom you look like a mess. I'll call room service," I instructed patting his knee gently. He gave me a small smile before standing up and walking into the bedroom.
"You're going soft boss." I jumped into the air and screamed when I saw John standing by the door way with a smirk. Behind him Allison peeked from Johns' huge back.
"You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I yelled clutching my chest.
John simply chuckled as they both sat at the dining table. We ordered breakfast and soon Vasili joined us. He looked much better and more awake. I noticed John eye him warily every few seconds as we ate, but I dismissed it.
"I'm really sorry about last night. When I get drunk I do really dumb things. God I feel like jumping into a volcano right now," he groaned as we stood next to his Porsche.
"Vasili don't say that. There is less painful ways to die," I teased. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.
"You give me a headache Edward Coleman," he sighed.
"That would be the vodka," I laughed.
He rolled his eyes playfully then opened his car door. "Have a safe flight Ed," he smiled.
"Thank you," I grinned. He shocked me by hugging me gently. I returned the gesture and after a few seconds he pulled away. He gave me one last smile before climbing into his car and driving off. I watched his Porsche till it disappeared into the traffic. For the first time in a long time I felt okay.