April 2023, 5:30 pm,
"Bye, Everyone, I'll be going; first, I told my co-workers as I left the office with my backpack. Inside is my laptop, which I brought to the office because there is no extra computer I can use personally.
Bye Sable, and drive safely, said my co-workers as I closed the door. I head out of the hallway and walk to the parking lot where my Grey Yamaha Mio Sporty Scooter is parked. I wore my half-face yellow helmet that looked like a bee, though it would be nice to go for a ride with no helmet for once; sadly, it would only remain as a thought. It would be unlucky if I got caught not wearing a helmet while riding a scooter. Here in our country, it's a violation to travel in scooters and motorbikes while not wearing a helmet. If I get caught, I will be fined 500 pesos or 10$ more or less by traffic enforcers, which is already a day's wage for me.
I headed to the exit and nodded my head to the security guard at the entrance. While driving on my way home, I noticed that the traffic was already building up because of rush hour; 5:00 pm is the usual after office hours here in the Philippines, so numerous vehicles are rushing home during this period. While driving steadily with the traffic, I suddenly felt melancholic about my current state of living, or is it living? If it is, why do I feel so empty?
Most of my salary goes to food, and video games, then half of it goes to electric and internet bills. A little bit on the gas for my scooter, with nothing much left for savings, until recently when the coronavirus pandemic hit, which prompted me to save some of my salary which is between 1,000 pesos - 2,000 pesos or 20$ - 40$ depending on how much money is still left until the end of the month.
And yeah, I'm single, single since birth, and a virgin too, with only my left and right hands as companions, but enough of that, I currently live with my mother to save rent, which I am grateful for; as for my father, he died in 2006, a month or so before his birthday, as I am thinking of him, my eyes began to water which sucks because I am still driving. It's stinging my eyes as the wind hits it, and this prompted me to stop and go to the side of the road for a bit, wipe my tears away, and then continue on as usual.
My father passed away when I was 13 years old; I had just graduated from my 2nd-year high school; back then, we were living in a squatter's area in Navotas, an hour away from where I work now, then that area was demolished, including our 20x30 meter two-story house for a road-widening project. So my mother and I had to move and live together at her relative's house in Pasig City for a few years until I reached college. If you're expecting evil relatives and bullying, nothing like that; since my father's passing, she raised me as a single mother. My mother worked as a prep school teacher and built her own daycare center. After a few years, she managed to buy her own house where we live now in Rizal, 1 hour away from where I work on my trusty scooter.
While driving, I noticed that I would be arriving at the high-speed way on the next right turn. I signalled my intentions and merged with the flow of the vehicles. While I was in the innermost lane, I made another signal to convey that I'll be switching to the outside lane to give way to the faster vehicles. I just let the signal light on since we are at the part of the road where all the lampost is still not working, and the only light source is the headlights of the vehicles. While driving, I suddenly detected another source of light coming from behind. I looked at the side mirror and noticed a big truck right behind me, and then I felt a tremendous impact from behind, and the next thing I knew, was that I was sent flying, rolled very hard on the road twice before hitting a lampost and felt my bones break from the impact and puncturing my insides.
As I lay there bleeding, I knew I was going to die. I thought of my Mom, and wished she gain happiness and a life of abundance now that her burden would disappear with me. Even though she does not say it, I know she still worries about me even though I am already this old, haha. I regret that I could not give her the life and retirement she deserved. I regret that I can't allow her to hold her grandchildren since she's been asking me to find a wife so she can have grandchildren, and it was my responsibility as her only son. I have so many regrets and decisions I wish I should've done differently. I should've not wasted so much time on things that didn't matter growing up. If I can do it all over again, I will live my life to the fullest! And spend every day meaningfully; sadly, they will only remain as a wish. As I am losing strength and my eyes slowly closing for the final time, the last thing I see is my broken laptop that is surprisingly showing it's clock screen saver. 6:24 PM 4/20/2023.