Preview : I give up on our situation, which is on the brink.
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The girl's eyes opened when she felt the sun's rays start to disturb her sleep. The room smelled of medicine made her want to hurry home. As she looked around her, she sighed softly. Last night she was taken by Rena to the hospital. Rena panicked as she called with a whimper. Jani forced herself to open the door when her best friend came. Rena swiftly carried her friend to the hospital. Rena was even surprised when her best friend was being treated in the ER. Actually whose apartment is Jani occupied, why is she alone. Even Jani was ready to carry a bag and wear a jacket when she came. But she refrained from asking many questions considering her best friend's condition was in pain.
Jani remembers, last night after getting a room at the hospital, she told Rena to go home immediately. Jani pretended to be fine even though she felt as if her body was weak to the bone. Jane is alone. After trying to sit, she reached for a glass of water. She didn't want to be spoiled by the slightest call for a nurse. She went to the bathroom to pee and wash her face, eat, drink, everything she did alone. However, her body still felt weak. After finishing her breakfast, she took out her cell phone on the nightstand. Again Jani smiled wryly, the messages already shown two tick marks, but there was no reply from the man. However, when she was about to put her phone back there was an incoming notification. A chat from the man she was waiting for.
Dana : "You didn't come home last night, did you stay at your ex's house?"
Jani was very upset with Dana's attitude. He took a deep breath trying to be patient.
Jani : "No, I'm in the hospital."
In less than 5 minutes, Dana has replied to the chat sent by Jani.
Dana : "Is your ex sick? After you finish taking care of him, you can go home quickly and let's talk."
Jani has lost the mood to reply to messages sent by Dana. She was tired of Dana's childlike attitude. Didn't think that Dana could sulk like this. What can she do, Jani will be home this afternoon. She should recover soon. She just wanted to see Dana. That's it. Even if Rena forbids her to go home, then she will go home quietly.
At 4 pm, Jani was really desperate to go home. She had sent a text message to her best friend not to have a visit on her. Her body still felt so weak. She immediately ordered a taxi online. Like someone in a hurry, Jani even ran into people walking in the hospital corridor while she was busy typing her online taxi order. She was in a hurry, Jani wanted to get in the apartment, before Dana had already left. They have to talk. Don't know what the conversation will be. What is clear is that Jani just wants to explain everything as it is. After that, it's up to Dana to take what steps to take. Her heart pounded loudly as the online taxi she was use in made its way to her destination.
Arriving at the entrance to Dana's apartment, she tried to calm her pounding heart which was getting more and more crazy. Stroking her chest for a while, then she started to enter the apartment. The atmosphere seemed deserted. She immediately headed for her room, but when she arrived in front of the pantry she was startled by a voice that interrupted her to stop walking.
"Are you done in cheating?" Dana asked sarcastically.
Jani turned her head to the right and saw the appearance of Dana, who only wore shorts and a T-shirt. Dana took a sip of water in his glass until it was empty. Until Dana put down the glass and stood in front of Jani, the girl still couldn't answer. She felt the pain again. Her heart has been a little strange lately. Now it's easier to feel pain for her. Jani was afraid that it might be a sign of a heart attack.
"You're starting to like to provoke my emotions, huh?!" Dana didn't even know there was an IV on one of her wrists.
"What do you mean?" Jani was still trying to organize her heart, trying to act tough even though she really wanted to scream in front of Dana. She didn't cheat at all. She did not meet Rangga. She was in the hospital instead.
***
Jani stood quietly still while listening the man...
"You want to know your mistake?" asked Dana sarcastically.
Oh my God, I can't stand being yelled at like this for a long time. "Alright then, what's the mistake I made, so that you do this to me," I replied, trying to look up to look into Dana's eyes.
Dana grabbed my hand and told me to sit on the sofa. Then he swiped his hair while sighing in frustration. Then he sat next to me. Honestly, I miss being hugged by him. I miss smiling with him. I miss everything about him.
"You dare lie to me about your meeting with your ex, you even dare not go home. I'm sure, you went with that man. Are you really slutty?", just as Dana finished his sentence with his eyes glaring at me, I was speechless.
Oh God, this pain again. But strangely why is it getting worse, why do my eyes also feel blurry like this?
"Alright, let me explain, and please don't interrupt until I finish it, after that, then you can decide anything," I took the risk that Dana would indeed leave me.
Even though, I swear, my heart feels like it's about to fall out, even though just thinking about the chance that Dana would leave me. I don't know if I can do it or not.
"I met Rangga at the supermarket at that time. I was confused when Rangga started asking. At that time it was not Rangga's feelings that I care about, but it was your dignity. I would also be so embarrassed if caught staying with a man who is not my husband. In our culture, you know, that's something that should be avoided, right? When an unmarried man and woman live together in one roof. That's why I lied to Rangga. I just obeyed Rangga who asked me to the cafe, so he wouldn't be suspicious of me. I was also taken home, again, so he wouldn't suspect me," then I wiped the tears that I couldn't hold back anymore.
With a grunt I continued my explanation, I wanted this matter to be resolved peacefully. "I really haven't spoken honestly, because I want to find the right time so that I don't misunderstand. But it turned out that the steps I took were wrong," I tried to laugh a little which sounded discordant. My voice sounded nasally and seriously my snot was everywhere. Whatever.
"I'm trying to fix the situation. I'm trying to be the best for you so far. If you think I didn't come home yesterday, you're wrong. The morning after you were grumpy, I went to work instead of hang out. I'm still trying, I sent you messages and tried to call you but the result is the same. You still mute. Stupid me for thinking too much and I have a lot of work. So I didn't eat. When I got home, my stomach flared up. I've tried taking medicine when I arrived at the apartment. But it turned out that I couldn't take the pain anymore. I tried to call you but couldn't. Luckily, there was Rena who helped me," I choked. The long sentence I said succeeded in making Dana frown deeply.
"So where did you sleep last night? Are you going back to your home?" Dana's voice began to soften. There is a little relief i felt.
Forcing a smile as best I could I replied, "I'm not going home. I also didn't go to Rena's house, even less to meet Rangga. The girl you said was slutty, last night was helped by Rena and was rushed to the hospital until this afternoon I was desperate to go home and lied that I was fine. So that a lowlife girl like me, can get clarity on what kind of relationship status I'm in."
Enough. I can't go on any longer than this. I can't do it anymore. I'm trying to stay strong. I tried to calm my tears. "I've finished explaining and now I will do whatever you want," I took a deep breath, I smiled as sweetly as possible and of course I give up on our situation, which is on the brink.