I couldn't fall asleep for a couple of days and it's starting to affect my thoughts. Ethan was groaning in the office and I knew that the day has come. Ethan was fully turned and I didn't have the heart to kill him. Jade would do this in a heartbeat, but I couldn't kill a friend.
"Goddammit!" I cried as I heard the banging of the door. It was going to be a bloody mess and I knew that I had to tell someone. But it didn't take long as Ben walked in to check on him. Looking at him with tears running down as Ben heard the banging over and over. Fear filled as he ran to get someone to help in this matter.
It didn't take long for Ben to get the rest of the group inside. Horror filled the room as Ethan hit the door over and over. Not sounding like a human in every moment, Jade walked in with a smile. She finally got to do what she wanted for a long while. Kill him without any guilt or mercy.
"Should have let him die in the first place," she snapped.
"He was hanging in there still," I cried as Jade held onto a bat. Ready to kill him right then and there.
"Better leave this room then," she smiled, "I got a date with Ethan here."
"He wants me to give you this after he was gone," I replied as she grabbed the letter out of my hand. She never looked at it as she threw it to the ground. Knowing it was about that night and how he felt. She didn't care as I was forced out of the room. Soon all I hear was screams of anger as she beat him to death. I felt bad for him, falling to the ground without her knowing that night. That he was taken advantage of.
I sat there as tears run down my face. She was using her energy to beat his body to nothing. It was overkill, but I know she was still hurting inside with every hit. But when she was done and came back covered in blood. All she had was the letter in her hand with tears falling to the ground. I knew it was about how the Bitch drugged him and forced herself onto him. She was sad about not listening to him and that she let someone she cared about died in her hands.
I seen Squeaks run up to me with a sad look. Ethan was gone and I might be next in line. Everyone was upset about losing someone a part of the team, but Aron stood there with no emotions. He was used to seeing people die around him. But I couldn't stay I'm the same room as the others. I was closed in with thoughts of it being my fault. That I we didn't let him go out of the bus that night.
If I didn't send him alone to get gas or seen it sooner as he was turning. None of this would have happened in the first place. The tears fell from all of us and it seemed like the sky was doing the same. Walking in the rain felt nice, but had a gloomy feeling inside me. I should have been the one dead and not them. Dawn and Ethan both had a life to live for.
All I saw was the old oak tree near the football field. Where we would play our games and get hurt along the way. Ace learns that the love of his life was pregnant and that Martin has finally gotten a boyfriend. We were like a family back then. Keep each other from falling apart, but what am I now. I was broken and weak from seeing friends die and blaming it on myself.
I was useless to the group. I couldn't save them and can't even save myself inside. I fell to the ground next to the tree, watching each drop hit the ground. Rain was like blood to the earth, but she wasn't falling apart like the human soul. The thoughts of blood dripping from my arm as I deserved to fall alongside them. I wasn't a hero... I wasn't a leader that they need... I was useless to them.
I held my knife in my hand as I wanted to let everything go. One cut and I could end it all. But I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my thoughts. Looking over to see Aron with a sad look in his eyes. Knowing my thoughts, before I got to act on them. He sat down beside me, trying to keep me from my thoughts of suicide.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"I want you to put the knife down," he replied.
"I should be the one dead," I cried as he took my knife away. Holding me like nothing was going to happen. I felt warm, but I was still sad and alone. I was going to die no matter what, but he wanted me to keep holding on. That there was still hope in this world.
"Why would a pretty boy like you care for me?" I asked as tears ran down my cheeks, but his hand dried them away.
"You just seem different in a way," he mumbled under his breath. His skin shivered from the cold as we finally agreed to go inside. The others were washing the choir room from all the blood but wrapped his body in a cloth. I guess burning him would be better than letting him raise again. They spoke sadness but held together in a group still. Did I belong to this group?
Jade was on the ground with tears in her eyes but was cleaned from all the blood. It was to let him go and turn into ash. A funeral by fire was strange, but Vikings use to do this before. All we need was gas and wood, but this made it feel empty in the end. He didn't deserve this type of funeral as others gotten buried in the ground. All I have known was that Ace and James were cutting trees and the others were cleaning the room. all we can do was say goodbye and try to survive.