For once, no one said anything about a world being black and white.
And still, the world is just black.
I'm sad.
Not about dying though.
About the world.
The simple fact that it won't stay black.
Why can't I just die?
I open my eyes…
and close them immediately.
The world is actually white and way to bright, too.
I don't like this at all.
Why couldn't it stay black? Or even better, vanish altogether.
My existence is just a wicked circle of pain and misery. It started weak and only got worse.
I accepted death and more then once wished for it.
I want an end...
Haa~ maybe I don't.
A small part of me doesn't want to die. More than that, this part actually wants to live.
It was the first part of me, that existed after I died for the first time.
That small part didn't know any real pain at that time, nor did it have any real care.
Maybe it is my true self. The origin of me, before I got twisted into an empty and broken husk…
Stupid, airheaded and curious.
Hmm… maybe it is way more than just a small part of me…
I call it the silly me.
But it is as much me, as the rational me or even the calculating me.
So I am Me!
And even if I am prepared to die or actually wouldn't mind if I did, at the same time I want to live.
Uhnn… I can't comprehend my own mind.
If I want something and at the same time don't want it, then what do I really want.
//I want to go back to my hotsprings…
\\That, my dear, silly me, is a great goal.
//But I can't, can I?
\\I need more insight over my situation to answer this.
//Insight go!
I open my eyes again.
Ack!
And close them immediately.
\\Stupid me…
I should do it the correct way. Well "my" way.
My field of perception spreads at a moderate speed. I refrain from going all out in an instant, so that I won't get an overload from something unexpected. Not that I had any idea what to except in this situation.
I'm in an empty room.
The walls, floor and ceiling are covered in bright white tiles and some of them are emitting some cold, white light. No wonder it hurts when I open my eyes.
If I [look] closer, I can [see] some magical devices in the walls. They are small, but their purpose is understood easily. Those are cameras. Exactly onehundred of them.
Someone really wants to keep a close eye on me, huh?
Not that I could do anything.
In front of me, is a hidden door in the wall that leads to a long, dark corridor with absolutely nothing in it.
All around the room is massive stone and the corridor too, looks like it got build into the stone. I'm probably underground again.
I can't be completely sure, because there is nothing else in my field of perception. Even the corridor, no matter how far I spread my field of perception, I'm not able to [see] its end.
Huh?
Wait a minute.
…
I counted all sixty seconds and then let out a huge sigh in my mind. Why am I like this..?
No, no distraction, this is important.
My field of perception is stretched as far as possible. That's too far!
I can clearly [see] everything in a radius of exactly 87 meters. Since when is it so large?
It only got used in smaller areas and was very rarely stretched out to the maximum in the last months, so shouldn't it actually shrink due to the infrequent use?
That's a very good question. Sadly I cant think of an answer to it.
Well, it's larger now and that is good for me, so I'm happy with that.
Sadly there is just nothing to look at.
Just stone, the room, me and the corridor.
Why am I actually here?
Hnn… I don't want to think about it too much. It makes me sad again. But basically I am here, because humans hate me.
Why is that? Well, that's another very good question without any answer.
I don't look like a human anymore. The calculating me probably gave up on restoring the humanlike appearance, as there are just normal calculations in the back of my head, even though they are way to fast for my normal line of thought to follow them.
So it's just the ugly, grey skinned creature known as me, that stands in this empty white room. My feet are in heavy and very short chains, so that I could make only half a step at maximum from my current spot.
At least I for once woke up after death without being naked. That's a relief.
A weird, white and double-sided apron is covering my body. I know this kind of clothes. Sick people wear it in this cities hospitals.
I've never seen a hospital, but their patients have been brought to me, so that I would heal them.
Hmm… I doubt that I am in a hospital…
There is no proof, just a feeling about it. One of the reasons for that assumption are the chains, that not only keep my feet in place, but my legs, hands, arms and even tail, too.
At least I can move my head.
Hehe
I just let my head roll around on my shoulders for some time.
Yeah, that won't do it.
Is there anything planned for me or am I just locked away in here? Is this a prison? That is not impossible… and it would explain the cameras.
Is everyones hate towards me reason enough to get locked away?
No, right?
I am not that informed about this cities laws, but there can't be a special law against me… I hope.
A terrifying thought crossed my mind.
What if I'm locked up in here, because they tried to kill me and couldn't?
Then I'm left here to rot.
Can I rot?
Even if I can, it would take some time… time that I would spend without much distraction.
I can't do that…
I absolutely don't want to do that.
I NEED distractions, no matter the kind.
There is a raging hell banned behind some nicely distracting numbers, but if I concentrate on the numbers too much, they might weaken…
For now I ban the thought of the future behind those numbers too. It was just a thought, there is no proof that it's true.
I could wait a bit, just to calm down and see if something happens.
So I wait.
A second.
…
A minute.
…
An hour.
…
Ten hours.
...
A day…
For fifteens sake! There is nothing happening.
There isn't even the slightest change in this room.
If I hadn't counted, I wouldn't even know if time had passed.
What am I supposed to do here? Watch my chains until they start to rust?
Wait, actually…
It doesn't have to be rust, but I could probably get rid of them. I would need to heal me up afterwards though.
Unnngh~
There is a weird sound in my mind as I hesitate.
It will be painful, but it's still better than nothing.
Hooohh~ okay!
I concentrate on a small space between my left ankle and the chains. The Aether there moves.
Hehe~
I have practised this a lot in secret. Of course I never completed a circle, so it won't explode, but moving the Aether without any visual help is quite possible.
It takes some time though.
My aim is a circle. Not a magic circle with cool symbols in it, but a plain old circle with two centimetres in diameter instead. I don't net those cool and aesthetic looking symbols. The moment the Aether connects, it should go rampage and explode.
…
Almost done… and it only took four minutes.
Just one more millimetre.
It explodes.
A deafening bang, far louder than my expectations, but the result is acceptable. The chains are blown off.
Of course I got send flying, as the chains on the ground are broken and hit hard against the wall. My leg is bend in a way that shouldn't be possible and an alarmingly intense pain tells me, that my foot is completely crushed. My concentration wanders there first to heal it up within seconds and then I [look] at my leg. Nothing too severe.
I start healing it up, but I stopped.
Awawawawawawa!
Electricity started to emit from the chains and wanders through my body.
It is intense, but nothing compared to eight certain moments of pure white and as suddenly as it started, it stopped again.
What the fifteen?
I begin to heal my leg again and start to ponder.
If the shock came instantly, then it would have been some kind of automatic security. But it didn't. It took a few seconds… Enough time for a surprised person to finally react and then make a choice. So it's very likely, that whoever is behind those cameras, just pressed some kind of hurt-button.
The chances of this are getting very high, because I am now very likely in trouble.
There is movement in my field of perception.
Two armored men are running through the corridor that gets brighter at the point where they are and the floor of it even began to move like an assembly line, so that they could reach me faster.
The door opened automatically, the moment they reached it and closed again, as soon as they entered.
Both of them look at me for a moment and then at the broken chains, then they nod at each other.
One drags me back to my old place, while the other one switches out the broken chains and connects them to my legs again.
They both are very careful to not touch me while doing so.
What? I'm not poisonous or something!
Wait, am I? I actually don't know… nah, it can't be. Humans sadly touched me before. If they didn't, I wouldn't have been abducted and never ended here.
Another sigh in my mind.
The moment the men are done, they go back to the now again open door. One of them turns around for a moment.
"No!"
With just that one word he leaves and the door hides in the wall again. I [watch] them go as far as possible.
What does he mean with "no"?
Am I some kind of untrained pet? Should I behave?
Give me a reason or I won't!
I could just destroy these chains too, you know? And then you have to come again. Whenever I feel like it! Yes, I have the power to destroy your sleeping habits!
\\It is very possible that there are some others, so they can rest in shifts…
It is indeed. Then what? I could still destroy the chains as often as possible, just to see how many they have.
But that will only be plan B.
I will give them a chance, so for now I will wait a bit. The number 147 pops up in my mind for absolutely no reason and I like it, so I will take it.
So hear me, humans… even though you can't!
I will wait for 147 hours and if you don't do anything, I will destroy something again. Maybe the door, maybe the cameras. Who knows.
I will teach you, that you have to keep me entertained, or I wont behave.
My eyes open again. Very slowly, so to not get blinded by the light a third time and I directly stare at a camera above the door.
And now I wait.
…
….
...
I love counting the time.
Giving every number a colour in my head as they come and go – tic, tic tic. It's funny.
The sadder it is, that the floor in the corridor is moving again after only 95 hours.
I would have enjoyed it, if I could have reached my goal, but there is always another time to count the time. Hehe, timejoke while counting seconds.
It's actually just coping.
I'm incredibly nervous!
Why? Simple, I have no idea what is about to happen and guessing from memory, it can in no possible way be anything good.
Also there is something else.
Two people are standing on the moving floor – they don't seem to be in a rush – and let themself get delivered to my door.
I know them both.
The one always wearing a white lab coat is the young doctor that always wanted me to eat more. He somehow fits in this clinically white atmosphere very well.
The other one doesn't fit at all.
It's Nema's cool magic grandpa.
I really don't like [seeing] him here.
He is the reason why I am currently here.
I thought, that we had some kind of relationship. That there was a connection. I trusted him.
One of the few, that I had considered showing my true me.
But the moment he saw it, he killed me.
If even he reacted like that, then there is no chance of anyone having a different reaction… Hmm... Nema maybe?
No, I won't think about that any further. It's not possible, that my brain could endure the more possible answer, so another thought got thrown at the calculating me to be banned behind numbers.
The hidden door opens.
Two people enter, to look down on one… thing?
I look at the cool magic gramps. Of course I [saw] him already, but I didn't [look] closer, because I wanted to see him with my eyes.
He looks angry. His hair is slightly unkempt and the skin under his eyes is dark and swollen. Nothing I couldn't heal, but he would only need some sleep to heal it himself.
Our eyes meet and disgust mixes into the sharp spark of his gaze.
It feels like ice piercing my chest.
I shift my view to the ground.
"So, how many strikes did you use exactly? Three, maybe even four?" The young doctor started to talk, as if this was not the most unpleasant situation one could be in.
The cool magic gramps answered with a voice, that was way to cold for him and send shivers down my spine, while he still stared at me. "Ninteen, but I'm sure it lost consciousness after about ten."
It? And Nineteen? More and more imaginary ice impaled my nonexistent heart.
"Hmmm… then we should consider it impossible to kill it with electricity."
"At least not with my capacity."
The young doctor let out a small chuckle towards Ijin's answer and then wrote something on the holographic screen of his tablet. When he was done, he put a small gas-mask over his mouth and nose and handed a second one to the cool magic gramps.
"I would like to test fire next, if that's okay with you."
Eh?
I couldn't even prepare my question, as the magic gramps palms got pointed at me.
For a little moment I felt cosily warm, but the heat got way too intense instantly.
Then my body bursts into flames from the inside out.
I scream, but no sound was heard in the raging inferno.