I don't want this any more.
Please stop.
…
Just end this … one way or another.
My energy and the will to live?
Gone…
It got burned up in the flames of hell.
Frozen in coldest north.
Pierced by the light of a sun in a single ray.
Cut into 1546 pieces… thrice.
Crushed by pressure of the deepest ocean.
Drowned in the vastest sea.
...The drowning wasn't so bad thought.
I don't need to breathe, so it was quite relaxing.
But sadly that wasn't the intend of it. All of the methods just had one goal.
It was to kill me.
Simple as that.
Simple and effective.. no, not really. I am still here.
At first I got some weird Deja-Vu of a certain situation that I banned behind numbers long ago. But then I noticed; this was different.
They didn't really want to inflict pain, it was just a side effect of the simple task to kill me.
Or the not so simple task…
I don't know why. Most of them don't talk to me. I'm just the assignment that needs to be done… nothing more, nothing less.
In the beginning there where the young doctor and the cool magic gramps. I got burned up for hours, but the stronger the flames, the faster I regenerated. That should be given, as the flames are a creation of Aether and I am somewhat the same.
It took some hours, but finally the Aether of Nema's grandfather was depleted. When this happened, they just left and some armored men entered the room to replace my doublesided apron and the chains, that got molten in the fire. They too left and I was alone for some hours.
Then the two came back.
Talking about what could be more effective in killing me, as if I wasn't there. While they stood in front of me…
They agreed to something and then my body was imprisoned in a crystal made of clear ice. The young doctor snipped against it and it broke into dust, my body with it. My consciousness faded and when I woke up again, I still wasn't complete. The doctor still was in the snipping position, so it couldn't be too long, but then I got frozen again.
Another snip and repeat.
After a few hours and the exhaustion of a certain someone's Aether, they left again.
I counted the seconds and punctual like the clock, they came back again. A confirmation was made with this. For them it's really just work. They do their shift, leave when it's over and just start where they left the next day.
It made me feel weirdly lonely. At least not for long, as a new form of pain greeted me.
Repeat and repeat.
This was routine for nine days.
But at the ninth day, something weird happened.
The day of drowning.
I don't need to breathe, so I can't possible be drowned.
After two hours the cool magic gramps realized this too and he dispersed the bubble of water, that I was floating in.
He came a step closer and looked at me. There was the shadow of a sad smile on his lips and his eyes showed a loneliness that I didn't even dare to understand.
"Please don't bring us misery and just die, Pu-… unwanted one…"
There was no time to understand, as he already was in a pose with two fingers of each hand pointing at me.
I had tasted a lot of his terrifying magics, but the lightning was by far the most painful one.
Eight strikes. Eight moments of a completely white world filled to the brim with pain. A ninth strike and everything faded to black.
When my sense returned, the cool magic gramps was gone and the clothes of the doctor looked different. It most probably was at least one day that I missed out on.
There was another person with the doctor. One of the guards of this place with a huge, spiked hammer.
I wasn't even fully conscious, when the hammer smashed my face into pulp.
Just [staring] at it from my field of perception was somewhat weird. As if I watched someone else getting hurt, but still feel the pain myself. That's somewhat messed up, right?
Because the small, grey body still was standing, I got kicked to the ground and the hammer accurately pulverized several vital points on it. I [observed] the situation while some disgusting and nauseating pain filled my field of perception.
Are you done?
Okay.
The shift isn't over, so I'll be in your care for a bit it seems.
My completely twisted and distorted body stands up and I concentrate in the most vital parts to heal it up faster.
A loud clank.
The hammer was dropped in disbelief.
The shift ended early.
That was 49 days ago.
Ijin never came back again.
This hurts. Not in a physical way, but in my head.
There where other people to take his place.
Some with laughable methods.
Some with creative ways.
Some just straight up gruesome.
Some creeping me out.
And all incredible painful…
Still I survived.
If this state could be called that.
I am horrified at the moment.
The reason? Simple. I feel less and less with every day – every attempt of killing me.
I just feel numb.
When I concentrate on a point in my field of perception, that is not my body, then I didn't get hurt as much. At the beginning the seemed like a good idea.
It isn't.
Being alive, but not living.
Existing, but not feeling.
Moving, but not thinking.
This has happened before and I don't want to think about it.
I feel tired, but I'm afraid of what could happen if I give in to that feeling. If my mind went to sleep once more.
I don't want that.
I need distraction.
Distraction surely will come, as the shift is about to start, but I don't want this kind of distraction either.
For a moment there was a calming picture of a hotspring in the woods in my mind, as I stretch my field of perception to look for the doctor and the method of killing for today.
Then I felt more then just awake, as my whole being got eaten by terror.
As usual, the doctor isn't alone. Today he brought three guards with him. Each one holding a very simple rifle that I could barely [see].
I don't understand it, but I know that I fear those blind spots.
They enter the room and I look at them in terror.
Click.
My head is gone.
Always the head first.
I can heal it without much trouble and I had far worse done to me, so what is this unfounded fear?
My body heals weirdly slow, so I concentrate on the end of my neck to speed up the regeneration of my head.
…
Or not…
Eh?
I can't.
My body is still regenerating, but only a micrometer every dozen seconds and I can't speed this up. There is nothing to regenerate into.
A blind spot in my field of perception, at the place my head was just moments ago.
How should I create something in a place that isn't there?
Click.
Half of my torso, centred around the area where a heart should be, just disintegrated and another blind spot appeared. An arm drops to the ground, as the shoulder it was attached to is just gone.
Click.
The other half of my torso… gone.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
…
They are very thorough, as every last piece of me got shot with those terrifying weapons.
This feels weird.
There is not even a dustparticle left of me and instead just a big blind spot in the centre of my field of perception.
Maybe I got just too used of thinking outside of my body, but I don't feel much difference. There is just some space that I can't see.
If they randomly shoot around, then they could probably make me completely blind. I assume that this would indeed kill me, but they don't know of my field of perception.
Sooo… am I okay?
I'm definitely not okay…
But what now? Can I just rebuild my body or will I just fade away?
I don't feel like fading. I actually feel quite good. Somehow refreshed… wow, that is messed up.
But if I can exist without my body, then what is my body for?
Hmmm~ no, that should be obvious, because I cant move my field of perception.
That's not good…
Does that mean I am now stuck here?
There is nothing here… and when there is no body of mine, then even the worst kind of distraction won't come back…
No, I cant let that happen!
Regenerate you stupid body of mine.
It didn't.
"Is it gone?", one of the guards, a young woman, asked carefully.
The doctor held his tablet up, as if he was searching for something with it. After a few moments he nodded.
"But to think that it was an aetheral being that created a physical body… No wonder we couldn't dispose of it…", he added while typing on the tablet.
The whole group left the room and slowly got transported away by the moving floor. The light and even the cameras in my room got turned off.
Hey, don't just leave. Please come back.
They wouldn't hear.
"So that's an irregular? Terrifying…" The oldest of the group, a man with short grey hair, just muttered.
A what now? Is that supposed to be me?
The doctor was still typing, his mind concentrated somewhere else as he answered. "Yes, I would like to publish a study about this one. For future generations… I hope I can count on your reports for that."
Everyone nods.
Seriously, what are you talking about? Please explain it to me.
Oh, wait a moment!
I wait.
Nnngh no! I don't have time.
Quickly I gather the information of my question and try to mix it with the doctors Aether. He knew how I communicate, so he would understand.
But I am too late.
He left my field of perception with the others… if only I hadn't waited…
Now I'm alone.
No method to change that left… nothing to do.
I would cry, but I can't.
Why are humans like that?
What have I ever done to deserve this kind of hate?
What have I ever done to deserve this kind of torture?
It's not clear when, but I will get bored eventually and then my personal hell will be unleashed.
I don't want this.
I don't want this!
I ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT THIS!
So why?
Why am I doomed to suffer?!
This can't really be because of my suicide, right?
No, that doesn't make sense.
Something cracked.
Not a full idea, but maybe the faint idea of an idea.
A concept yet to be created.
A simple question.
What decides if anything makes sense?
By common sense, one won't just kill others. Humans denied that.
By common sense, one would would gladly welcome the beneficial ability to heal others. Humans denied this.
By common sense, one would recognize another beings existence. It doesn't need to be acknowledgement, but at least simply the fact of noticing, that someone else exists too. Humans denied this.
...So I deny them...
Human needs? Denied.
Human limits? Denied.
Getting hurt? Denied.
Getting killed? Denied.
Why do I even bother mingling with them?
Well, because I want to learn… but it's simply not possible with the way we differ.
So I should just live my own way, without any care about them.
This is just a weak, messed up mindset? Why should I care? I just decide this to be the norm for my standard.
And the second thing I will stop caring about is their obsession to get rid of me.
I didn't die.
My body was temporarily just not available. It will be back when the slowly fading blind spot is completely gone.
Eh.
It's nice that the blind spot is fading slowly, but my body is actually there. Just a few steps next to the blindness.
Uhmm…
How?
Ah well, fine by me.
I bow down to pick up the doublesided apron that didn't get disintegrated like my body and cover myself with it.
\\Time to go to my goal, silly me.
//Can't wait to be in the forest again!
I move a few steps sideways, so that the door is not in front of me anymore, while concentrating on a spot behind it.
A circle of Aether is drawn within a few seconds and the broken door gets shot into the room by the resulting explosion, where it gets stuck in the wall.
I leave the room. Neither the moving floor, nor the lights turn on. I don't care about the light as I run. There is no need to see, when I can just [see] instead.
The group of four comes into my field of perception after eight seconds.
They are in front of a large tube that goes up until it leaves my field of perception and a normally banned memory tells me, that this could be used to travel.
The reason why they don't use it is obvious; they heard the explosion.
I enter the bright area they're in and only stop a few meters in front of them, because they block the tube's entrance.
I simply point at it.
May I?
The information is mixed with their Aether and should be understood easily. Seemingly it wasn't.
They gave of some very confused information since I entered the tube's room, but my question brought them over the limit.
The oldest guard reacted first.
Click.
I dodge.
Why should I let myself get hit by this?
More shots, faster dodges.
"Why are you still alive?!", the doctor shouts with foam gathering at the corner of his mouth. "Stay dead you disgusting, vile devil!"
Another piece of ice stabbing my mental heart. I thought I couldn't feel these anymore.
The guards still try to hit, while shouting insults at me. If I take a bit more distance, they should follow slightly and I could get to the tube and out of here. My plan got ruined by something unexpected.
The doctor reaches in his pocket and throws a stone at me. Well in my general direction.
A magic circle on the stone started to glow the moment it hit the ground and a bigger version of the same magic circle appeared one and a half meters in the air over the stone.
Something fell out of it.
No, someone.
I completely stopped due to surprise.
A body my size, but with more flesh between skin and bones.
Covered with only the smallest piece of cloth it's glossy purple skin was exposed.
A friendly face with purple eyes and curly hair in the same colour. The familiar horns and a long tail ending in a heart shape.
Imp!
We look at each other for half a second. A warm, happy smile lights up her face and I want to smile back.
Click.
The head in front of me.. is gone.
"You fucking idiot! That was mine!"
"Sorry, it just appeared! I'll replace it later."
That didn't happen… right?
Ha… ha… funny joke…
And replace..? Stop making me laugh so much…
…
..!
YOU FUCKING SAVAGES!
Sleep, silly me.
Something inside of me vanished.
The anger? Gone. Just an echo but almost forgotten.
And still, this simple echo feels like a storm of rage.
\\Calculating me?
Affirmative.
\\I can more or less guess, but you have to apologize to the silly me later.
Affirmative.
I didn't want to hurt the three guards or the doctor. There was no real reason for it, it just didn't feel right, even though it would have been the shortest way to the tube.
Well, I said, that I won't care anymore, but that was an obvious lie. Silly me couldn't just stop caring. That's just how I am.
But there is no silly me right now. It sleeps. Some well deserved rest after everything.
The humans? I indeed don't care anymore.
A circle of Aether forms in the oldest guard who shot the imp. He just bursts open from the inside.
The shooting stops. They just stare at the dead body.
I create another circle. The doctor bursts apart, too. He wasn't the most dangerous one, but the echoing rage made him a priority target.
The rifles drop to the ground.
I don't care if you are unarmed.
A single jump is more then enough. I reach the two survivors and with a force not fitting to this small body, their heads are getting separated from the body by my claws.
I walk towards the tube.
\\One moment.
I [look] at the stone. There is no magic circle left and its slowly turning to dust like a certain book once did. Assumption; it only contained that single Imp.
Still I didn't enter the tube immediately.
There was something I selfishly want first. I take the woman's black guard-jacket and put it on over my patient-apron. It reminds me of another jacket I really liked.
All done.
I enter the tube.
The weightless feeling of travelling through it is such a bliss. Sadly it didn't last long.
I was already expected.
Gunshots and magic raining down on me the moment I appear.
Of course I would get completely ripped apart from that.
Producing spare.
The scattered parts of my body disappear, while I stand a few meters next to the tube as if nothing had happened. Now I need to get my clothes again…
Permission to dispose of the root?
\\In this room, this city or humanity as a whole?
Actually I don't care.
I shrug in my mind. Just do as I see fit.
Affirmative.