Someone once said "The World is black and white."
Was it a Philosopher?
A Politician?
Maybe just some random guy?
Doesn't really matter.
Because the world is just black.
Not in a metaphorical way, but like literal.
Everywhere is just darkness and that actually scared me.
Where am I?
What happened?!
Why cant I move?!
Okay, calm down!
I took a deep breath and realised, that I didn't breathe. There was no air but somehow I didn't feel uncomfortable.
Am I dreaming?
Yeah, that would explain much.
So this could be a lucid dream?
Thinking that I instantly tried to imagine things to see if anything changed… without any result.
No, it wasn't that nothing I imagined got created; I just couldn't think of anything.
Am I that boring as a Person?
Well at least my stress level got down so let's check out what we got.
Nothing…
Everywhere is just black.
It wasn't eerie, nor was it pressing. It's just like there was nothing.
A void that nobody cared to fill.
Yeah… I really must be quite boring as a person to just dream of nothing.
Maa~n I kinda suck don't I?
With a thought like that I wanted to rub my temples but the moment I tried that, another wave of panic crashed into me;
I have no hands!
Not just that. The more I concentrated, the more I realised that I don't have arms or legs either.
No torso, no head.
No Brain?
Yes.
I just am an anxious mass off thoughts, floating in this world of nothing...
Stop… Stop. STOP!
Yes, calm down.
Why should I need a body in a dream?
"Good job on staying calm, rational me!"
"Oh thank you, silly me."
…
Great a few minutes in this mess and I already become insane?
Aw man…
Okay, lets be the rational me and think.
Think about what? No idea.
Hmmm…
How did I even get here?
I mean; sure you dream when you sleep. But when did I fall asleep. And more important – where is the real me?
The moment this thought crossed my mind, the third and by far biggest wave of panic hit me.
WHO is the real me?!
Even in a dream – especially a lucid one – I should know who I am, right? RIGHT?!
Nononononono stop!
Keep breathing.
Pretending to heavily breath in and out I focused my mind on that and calmed down after a while.
This is just the weirdest dream ever.
I don't care. Yeah, not caring helps a lot.
Why thinking of something that can't be explained? A dream does not follow any logic, so this should be the explanation already.
Reminding me of this, I concentrated and began to remember.
I was outside… I guess… no; I'm sure!
But when my last memory was outside, then I shouldn't be asleep. That's dangerous.
I live in a big city after all. Or was it the countryside? A cabin on a lonely mountain?
Nope, don't care at all!
But I clearly remember the rain hitting my face.
No… not quite.
That wasn't rain – those where tears... my tears.
Ah shit…
I remembered…
This isn't a dream – this is hell.
You wanna know why?
It's simple…
A panicked smile forced its way on my non-existent lips.
I am here because I killed myself!