At times I wish, I had paid more attention to you, to your words, to your smile, to your touch, to your scent. Had I cherished those moments, I would not have had regrets in the future. Those days, those nights, that week that I got to spend with you, would have been sufficient for an eternity... or maybe it would have made me more greedy, more sufferable more loner... Cause I would have finally tasted what it would have been to grow old with you...
"Lan Zhan, your wounds" he pauses as he tries to stop my wounds from seeping out. Unable to stop them from bleeding and after inspecting them, he walks away from me to collect the few shrubs that could be found growing underground. Having finally found a few thicker, straighter branches, he rubs the grime off the surface using a corner of his clothes and crouches before me, "You have a rope or a ribbon? Hey, your forehead ribbon might do the trick. Come on, take it off." the moment he says this, the Gusu Clans rules comes to my forefront which has always been embedded on us 'Never take off your Gusu Band' and so I glare at Wei.
So before I could respond, Wei quickly reaches out and removes my forehead ribbon. With a flick of his wrist, he uses the forehead ribbon as a bandage, straightens up my leg, and fixes it firmly onto the branch.
Suddenly robbed of my forehead ribbon, I yell "You...!" and he grins.
"I think you have a nice touch"
"No matter how much you like the forehead band, it can't be more important than your leg, can it?" he pats my shoulders and I am absolutely dumbfound.
I can only hear my uncle commanding me to kneel on the snow covered ground and recite the rules or punish me with a head stand for an entire day as I copy all the rules. Moreso if he gets to know that Wei touched my band, he would be so infuriated, he'd flog me.
I am pulled out of my senses when I smell a sweet aroma. I observe Wei remove a pouch from his lapels. It's the same pouch that Mian Mian had given him back then. The pouch now looks pretty heavy laden with water but he opens it and goes through its contents.
Unable to keep my eyes open, I let him figure things out and I lean back to close my eyes. The fatigue is getting to me and I soon feel lightheaded. The blood seeping out is actually making me nauseous though I don't reveal it. If I do, Wei would be worried.
"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, stop sleeping. Sit up for one second. There's a perfume sachet here. See if there are any herbs that we can use." he pleads and I feign disinterest but then I remember his wounds and I open my eyes. If there is anything in there that can help him, it would be great.
We do find some useful ingredients and he quickly tries to make a rough paste out of it "Who knew her pouch would be so useful, once we get out, I need to thank her" he grins and I am unable to keep the contempt within me. Call it frustration or just being tired.
"You just want to harass her" I glare at him and he grins "Me? Nope when I talk, it's me being genuine" he looks into my eyes as I glare at him and then in an all serious tone questions "Wait a minute, do you like Mian Mian?".
Shocked, it takes me a second to understand he's teasing me.
"Ridiculous" I say and look away.
Why did that hurt so much. I want to vomit the bile that raises within me, but to save face, I don't.
"Lan Zhan!" He calls my name and I don't dare look at him "Sorry" he pleads "Alright alright" he crawls next to me and in quick precision, his fingers loosen my lapels, my robes revealing my chest and shoulders the color of snow for him to see.
(A/n: Yup Wei saw Lan Zhan's skin in the book
Being suddenly pushed onto the ground, shirt forcibly stripped. My face was almost red, "Wei?!" I cough.
Wei took off all of his clothes and tore them to shreds, "What do you think I want to do?"
As he finishes, he stands up removing his clothes out of courtesy, he revealed his own chest as well and all I could do was stare!
Deep collarbones, the lines of his torso flowed smoothly that flaunted its adolescence, and youthful energy and strength.
Unable to witness such shameful act I vomited the blood from within me. As I coughed up the blood, I could feel a pair of hands sooth my back.
Wei shrugged, palms facing out, "Now that the shirts are gone, it's time for the trousers" he grins and then laughs at my darkening expression. All the while that he acts childishly, I remember my uncle berating me.
As I vomit out more bile within me, he quickly presses on my acupoints and immediately, I feel a little better, and that's when I realise what Wei was trying to do. Looking back at him, my gaze softens a bit. He wanted me to spout out all the black blood.
Wei.
"Please don't make such jokes" I say and he laughs "Don't worry Lan Zhan, I don't like men, so won't take advantage of you" and my heart pierces.
Ouch.
Looking away, I close my eyes yet again and murmur "Shameless"
Leaving me alone for a while, I can here few rustles and soon I feel a warmth of the fire enveloping us. He brings out the paste, pulls up my trousers and starts to apply the medicine. Quietly I observe his skills when I notice his chest. The burn marks.
Why does it burn me when I see yours?
Stopping him, I take some paste and quickly apply it on his wounds and it seems that's when he realises, he too is hurt.
He suddenly yells "Ah!"
"Well if it hurts so much, then don't act so rashly next time" I admonish him and he grins yet again. My hands falter a bit without him noticing - keep smiling this way Wei.
"Well how could I not act so rashly, it was about a women getting disfigured. I am a man, I am used to getting hurt quiet often, but Mian Mian, she is a girl, that too a pretty one, if anything happens to her face, her life would be ruined. I can't let that happen" he looks so proud.
"Well you're scarred for life too" I look into his eyes intently and he looks into mine, in a bout of seriousness, a moment sparks but soon he says "atleast she would remember me for life" he winks and the moment is gone.
In fit of anger, I push him and he falls down. The fear behind those eyes, is like one jumping into a pool of cold water and I try to maintain my stoicism.
I am about to help him but he backs away "Don't come close to me, I won't joke with you".
Too tired to argue, I close my eyes and simmer down my anger.
"Lan Zhan" he calls a while later "what's wrong with you? You're acting quiet strange today!" His observation makes me regret my actions. Oh Wei!
"You have never been much bothered with my topic of conversation before, then why today? It's not like I am flirting with you!" He wails and I... I look into the dancing flames. The dark caves are subtly engulfed in these flames as the heat of it seeps within me.
Wei, you won't begin to understand my plight. Not just with you... But with whatever is going on in Gusu... My brother!
"Why am I having such useless conversations with you?" I sigh and he's back right by my side and pats my shoulders "We're the only two souls here, if you won't talk to me, who else would you talk too?" He grins and I look at his smile.
No true words were ever spoken. Had I opened up myself that night, I probably would have been at ease but, I never realised that I could talk to you. You were the only one who mattered.
Man such a sweet insightful chapter. I always wanted to know what Lan Zhan thought during his time with Wei in Muaxi Mountain. Stay tuned, more to come!!!
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