Chereads / The Black Saint is My Stalker (BL) / Chapter 9 - Absurdity to the highest degree

Chapter 9 - Absurdity to the highest degree

Han Li had seen a lot of weird shit in his life.

Like you know, the ghost of a headless chicken wreaking havoc on a poor farmstead. Or the time he witnessed a werewolf getting freaky with an ordinary wolf. The PTSD from that particular case still lingered like a clingy ghost…

The zombie octopuses came close to being the most messed up thing he experienced too, but there was also a time when he had to fight an enraged selkie that was intoxicated with vampire blood. The poor creature kept trying to profess its undying love to Han Li, its executioner. That one had been a real mess, the teasing lasted for months.

Don't ask. Because Han Li was murky on the details himself. He might have compartmentalized that memory entirely, for the better.

Okay, he was getting a bit off-topic. You see, the reason why Han Li was having a mental breakdown at his university was for a reason both plain and inconceivable. Was that Graham Assholely dressed in a janitor's uniform, pushing a cleaning trolley along? Or was Han Li hallucinating? Compared to all the other weird shit he'd seen in his life, this was a new top contender for absolute mindfuckery.

Han Li wasn't the only person that thought this weird because janitors weren't meant to look like fit, handsome supermodels. Graham attracted a crowd. Some were brave enough to approach him with small talk and fawning words while others snapped pictures from afar. It was absurdity to the highest degree and Han Li just wanted to get to the printing studio dammit. His class was starting in five minutes.

Ideally, he could sneak by unnoticed. There was a small gap in the hall to the left that caught his attention. Perfect. Han Li could slip by even with his oversized drawing project folder and the extra-large coffee he was protecting with his life. Sure it was a bit of a tight squeeze but he'd gone through worse. It was no biggy.

Han Li might not have been the stealthiest, there was a good reason he was never a scout, but he had hope. The cover of babbling, thirsty girls should have been enough of a cover for him to tiptoe past unnoticed.

Aha.

Apparently, he wasn't that lucky.

"Han Li. Good morning, though it seems that you are a bit late for your class, are you not?" With a single utterance of his name and Graham's pointed gaze, the rest of the crowd followed with dozens of curious eyes. Oh fuck, Han Li felt his anxiety mount as people stared at him in both wonderment and disapproval.

Han Li's first instinct was to open his mouth and yell at Graham.

But he was instantly silenced with all the gawking, the eyes and the fury of endless gossip that would surely drive him to an early grave. So he did the normal thing to do and just said, "Hahaha! It seems like you have the wrong guy, bye-bye!"

And promptly ran away—

—ran away in the opposite direction of where he was supposed to go because he was an absolute idiot. But who could blame him?!

With all those people crowding the hallway that led to the printing studio there was no way he would head in that direction. Even worse, there were a bunch of people from his class standing just there and staring at him! Just think of the stupid rumors that might arise. Han Li could already imagine them now:

'Li knows that hot janitor! Do you think they're friends?'

'Then why did he run away?'

'Maybe Li stole his girl.'

'No, the janitor definitely had to have stolen Li's girl!'

'Are you guys stupid? Li's gay. What if they're exes!?'

Han Li slowed to catch his breath. Somewhere along the way, he might have tossed out his coffee cup but he couldn't remember if he actually drank the sweet dark nectar inside or not. Frankly, he was a mess.

His heart was racing and his mind was full of useless thoughts. Fuck. Maybe it was all just an illusion born out of sleep deprivation. Or some sort of elaborate prank. He looked up, wondering where he had run off to, because heck, Han Li hadn't been paying attention at all when he made his escape.

Ah. He was in the A Wing, close to the library and—

A blue janitor uniform invaded his vision, along with the yellow cleaning trolley. The mop head bounced as it drew closer. "Han Li. I hope that you are aware you went in the wrong direction. It seems that you are properly late for class now."

Han Li squealed from surprise, "You— Argh! Don't scare me like that!" An accusing finger prodded Graham's chest while Han Li held his drawing project close to his chest. Embarrassment reddened his cheeks.

"I'll let you know that I wasn't late before you MADE me late! Dammit…This is all your fault. Why are you even here!?" He shrilled, no different than an offended cat, with fur raised, claws out.

But to Graham, he was but a tiny kitten who deserved no attention or appeasement beyond a blank glare. "I did not stop you from going to class. Your tardiness is no fault of mine. As for why I'm here…" He paused and took in the sights around them.

Since the first period had officially begun, there were fewer students loitering about. Aside from the stray staff member and tardy student, there was but the faint echoing of lectures that haunted the campus halls.

"I thought that since I will be remaining around this location, it was only proper to be more productive with my time." Graham's voice was a melodic drawl.

"Let me get this straight. You think you can make your time stalking me more productive...by getting a job on the campus?"

"Precisely."

"That makes no sense whatsoever."

"Hm," Graham did not bother to elaborate, the bastard.

The throb between Han Li's eyes was becoming unbearable. He didn't have the energy for this. And even though he was late, Han Li still needed to get to class. "Aren't you an active hunter? Also, stop following me."

Graham didn't stop following him. "I am on vacation. I have full intentions of becoming your operator."

Han Li frowned, "Aren't you like an S-rank hunter? You can't just become someone else's operator, can you?"

No matter the weight of Han Li's logic, Graham seemed unperturbed, "Exceptions can be made."

"…" Why did it sound like this guy was just going whatever the heck he pleased with complete disregard to regulations and others?

…No, this guy was definitely, two hundred percent just doing whatever the heck he pleased. He obviously didn't give two flying fucks about anything else.

Han Li was getting dizzy. "Okay, you know what, I'm not even going to ask. But seriously, I need to get to class and if you're really a janitor then don't you have some toilets to clean or something?"

"…" Graham said nothing but the way he halted, nodded and proceeded to turn his trolley down another hallway was telling enough.

…Gods, what a weirdo. Han Li tried not to think about it as he made his way back to class.

Only to eventually leave class early.

After the teacher's lecture and vague class critiques are given on their previous project, they had their usual studio time to work. Han Li had the full mind of being productive, and maybe even flirt with Kevin a bit, since they were in the class together. But he had no such luck.

Instead, Han Li was bombarded by curious peers that shot questions at him like a damned rapid-fire machine gun.

"Who's that janitor?"

"What's his name?"

"How do you know him?"

"Are you guys really exes?"

"Is he, like, you know…? Hung…?"

Han Li wanted to scream. No actually, Han Li most definitely screamed, shooing them off with dismissive answers. "I don't know him!"

"But he knew your name," someone accused.

"I've only met him once," Han Li lied.

"Where! Where did you meet him? I've never seen a janitor that ripped before."

Oh trust, Han Li hadn't either. "I don't remember because I really don't care."

He tried to worm his way out of the crowd but it was hard with his bulky silkscreen. They were like flies to a carcass, refusing to leave him alone. Whatever. Han Li decided to employ the Graham tactic and just ignore, ignore, ignore, not deigning them with any response at all.

It seemed to work, at least partially, with some of the crowd filtering out from disappointment and others deciding that they've procrastinated enough.

Han Li only perked up when Kevin approached. "Umm… Li?" he said shyly with his bird-like voice.

"Yes? What's up?" Han Li answered immediately with a bright smile, a metaphorical dog tail waved behind him at Kevin's attention.

But expression deflated just as quickly with Kevin's next words. "That…janitor, Graham. You…wouldn't happen to know his number…would you?"

Never mind, Han Li decided to quit. Quit what, you ask? Well, life of course.

Okay no, he wasn't that dramatic but he was definitely quitting the rest of class. Making up some stupid excuse about having a stomachache, Han Li made his exit.

He kind of just wanted to go home but could not afford such luxury. In the fine arts department, they didn't have midterms in the traditional sense with exams. But every studio class included an obnoxiously lengthy project to be completed in a short amount of time.

Which meant that Han Li couldn't exactly afford to waste precious, precious studio time. His drawing project could be transported to and fro the campus but the same couldn't be said about his painting. That thing was massive.

So he went to the second painting studio, where luckily no classes were taking place.

But there was a familiar face that beckoned him over.

"Oh, if it isn't Mr. Li Han," Simone waved, "I heard you were involved in some serious drama this morning. Your ex publicly humiliated you so badly that you ran away from your printing class huh? That sucks. But everyone's saying that he's super hot."

"That's not what happened!" Han Li cried, hands tugging at his hair in despair.