Chapter Ten: Letters from the grave

Dear Aaliyah,

There is no card that says I am your half sister you've never met and I need you to take care of my baby while I go to rehab believe me I checked. The mall guy I asked looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was.

My name is Sarah Macks and I am your sister. Benson Macks was my father and he was your father too. I know you are a big city criminal attorney and so I took the liberty of sending a lock of my hair for DNA test, Smart… right?

I tell everyone that cares to listen that you are my sister and that mason is my brother too and both of you are very successful. I brag a lot about the two of you, Aaliyah. I have waited years to meet you and Mason. It isn't rational but I wanted to be somebody before I met my long lost siblings, someone you could be proud to call your sister.

For the longest time, I wanted to follow in your footstep and become a professional in a field, maybe a medical practitioner. You know that way we would have a lawyer, an artist (Mason) and a doctor. We would be the formidable trio, the Macks family…kicking ass and taking names.

I stayed focused in high school. I wasn't always a drug addict, Aaliyah. I was exceptionally bright and you would have been proud. I planned to attend Yale or any other formidable school that it takes a genius to be accepted. I worked really hard, I really did Aaliyah but life doesn't always go the way we want it go, right?

Things started to fall apart at home and I know excuses are for losers but it was really hard. There were times I wanted to run away from Brooklyn and come find you and Mason in Manhattan. I thought if I was brave enough to make the leap that you would accept me and everything would be alright?

Was I wrong, Aaliyah? Would you have turned me away? I like to think you would have kept me but I guess we would never know.

I almost made it to you five years ago, got as close as the Brooklyn Bridge before father caught me and made me go back. I read in a blog that it is your favorite bridge and that day, I kept turning back, hoping you will materialize from thin air and take me away. It wasn't rational but a girl was allowed to dream, right?

Why didn't you come for me, Aaliyah? If you knew I lived in Brownsville Brooklyn, then you knew things were that bad. Father said you didn't care enough and that I was a no body to you. It was one of the reason's I wanted to be great, to impress you and Mason.

Papa left when I was barely fifteen. I still remember that night like it happened yesterday. It was raining with lightening and I was frightened. I hid in my room and even in that raging storm; I could still hear my parents yelling at each other and Mama breaking plates in the kitchen. I placed my headset on and turned the music up to drain out the noise. I fell asleep and when I woke up this next morning, father was gone.

Mama started drinking, at first it wasn't bad just the occasional sip of brandy and beer. And then it became worst, she would puke all over the floor and I had to clean it up and little by little, my dreams began to slip away. The world stopped making sense at all, you know what I mean. I really tried to hold down the fort and get mama to rehab, to be a better daughter and I did.

A month after she came back from rehab, she was killed by a drunk driver, ironic right?

Standing by her grave alone, occasional glancing toward the entrance hoping you and Mason would show up but you didn't was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It was the day I took my first sniff of the deadly substance and sent my bright future ten years back.

I struggled for days Aaliyah but something miraculous happened. I found out I was pregnant with Noah and it was the happiest day of my life. I get to have someone to love and who would love me forever. I stayed clean. I swear Aaliyah; I stayed clean for my baby, so he can be as healthy as he could be.

Then one day, one of my son's father's sidekick came to our apartment and told me that he couldn't see me anymore and he wasn't going to see Noah anymore. I know how I felt when our father left and I couldn't imagine my beautiful baby boy not having a chance to see his daddy and I relapses and I couldn't get up this time on my own. But I know, deep down in my heart that Alex's sidekick lied.

Alex B. loves me and Noah and when I come back for Noah, we are going to look for both his father and mine. They might have hurt us but every man deserves a second chance to meet his son or in our father's case, grandson.

I found a woman on chore-simplify willing to bring Noah to you for a few bucks, actually my whole savings.

Aaliyah, now I have a new dream, to go to rehab and clean up my act and to be the best mother to the most beautiful baby in the world. Now I am giving you my treasure to hold for a while and I hope you would be proud of me even though I am not a doctor. See you in a month, big sister.

Love,

Sarah…..P.s, now he is yours.

I closed the letter. I didn't know I was crying until I felt the wet letter in my hand. I was going to help Sarah's child. I was going to look for Alex B.