Alone was an another world, where we are , when we are out of happiness or out from happiness .After he leave i was all alone.
" Without friends?
Don't wanna even imagine or think about it.
Like an island solely, on a vast and blue ocean.
Like a tree rarely,on a dreary and dry desert.
Like a tree leaves barely,on beautiful autumn season.
Like a sun in the day and moon in the night lonely
In the endless sky."
Don't want to go back to the second place where I should go .He have stolen away , my happiness or is it he is my happiness ?? i don't know. I was all alone crying under the blanket when I rewind back the past memories that we left the Scars so beautifully and sweetly that I can't even explain in this way but I could feel that way so empty. My karma was that I feel like he was completely lost ,I couldn't get back the same taste of that man from nowhere,from nobody too.
I thought, I was living the hardest life on the earth that have ever existed ,maybe or may not . Even the smallest incident or the slightest thing that have crossed in my mind it haunted me along. For sometimes a smallest things ,occupied most of the space in our heart .Situation don't change, we people change the thing,we are changeable so, I should live out and change the condition in this dark and dull life, sad and alone,desperate and not interest with anything.
" People can notice and able to think clearly that I make a mistake to cause problem to myself. Therefore don't be very pale ,You are not insane ,be fully satisfied with what you have along with euphoria in rustic life. Imagining that small thing can be a great thing when we think they are . Stand up." I said to myself.
My brother came back ,he does nothing but drink ,drank and drunk that's it. That was the only chance for me to slip out his phone slowly from his pocket and sometime under his pillow. At night where almost most of the people have their sleep soundly. I know Mr. Cool ,my acting friend phone number, so I would call up to him though it was not allowed for them to use phone inside the hostel I hope he was very careful that we mostly have time to chat through call . He don't share anything about ,I was the one asking this and that after all he would speak up that he probably caught cold due to different weather and environment as well ,he even says that their food the curry could be fed to pigs not human ,only soup. He said to me that after lockdown his friend got new uniform and all. Yet he stays as the same, his mate even got guides and helpbook ,he got none .So sad , he was living in his father younger brother . He was an army , they adopt him as their child but it's nature they couldn't loved as own. Cool ,request me to help it out with that .So lovely ,I would call up in video to see his handsome and cool pretty face he have ,kiss through the screen ,he don't do that we say goodnight and dream good that's all by the way I used to have sound sleep peacefully and calmly . What we probably think most of the day or at night before bed thinking deeply we mostly have that dream,after the call I would be in a dreamland with the man I was talking about ,playing,chatting and laughing like we used to do . We were different in habit ,attitude and character something like that but,in one way we have same hobby we love to sing .My voice was girly pitch, for him it was good and nice ,talented that he can sing a song of high pitch that I can't even Climb it up to it .I wanna sing along with him but couldn't get time for him as he was a busy man.
Now in this computer age , people were much aware about their phone than their life .They caught up in a mobile game ,no time to talk even to their friends and loved ones. They don't even have time to feed their own belly that was roaring ,their bedroom become dinning and common room as well. Don't want it to think about it but, I feel the pain for their parent to see their children grown up so beautifully or they see that their children love the technology more than to their parents .They don't obey or hear what their guardian told them to but was in control by the earthly things.
Sometime he used to ,he work in call center to lost some time in around midnight ,mostly online scrolling up and down ,left and right viewing how many people view his status , post , story , like and comment it .Stuck in whatsapp mostly. He was more busy than an app developer , he got his best friend that is his phone that he can't live or sleep without it damn!!! At hostel I kinda feel sorry for him. At home he was mute with his daily mood ,can't answer twice. Once I have said to my fellow friend that ' News in the radio doesn't repeat for the second time.' He would probably used that quote to reply when I asked huh!!??? He speak in a deep tone when he is with his parent that I can't or anybody around him won't hear it. It's better for him to be in hostel ,as pro in call center he would speak with clear voice and in a distinctly manner in phone like he talk to a stranger or girls in his contact list ,all night till midnight as I have said. Discussing about other love story for they were not in a relationship ,narrating about their future dream after marriage that seems it can and have to fulfilled but, it cannot I comment as 'People who don't even aware about their present situation and overcome it how could they dream about a dream that they couldn't see or know how it would be.' Their dream will always be a dream anyway.
Thinking to and fro about singing with him I got some hint that why he don't want to sing along with me ,our taste of song was quiet contrast. I love pop songs ,rock and roll jump with the beat ,sad love song crying along with the broken lyrics. He loves to hear country song and local music I like it too haha! we can get along someday anyhow ,he request me to wrote song lyrics in our local language but I couldn't make it. Out there I refer him in english that he can't make out the music ,what to do? No other way. He was not around so I would be singing the song for him and digesting the lyrics of the song 'See You Again - By Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. ' Once my favourite. Student from various institutes,school and colleges started their normal class like they do .Yet our school didn't get the order from R.O , so we continue still on the online mode through where I did my exams and I passed out my 1st year of pre university ,get guide from google ,got every answer as our syllabus was from the Central Board.