—Will the pain end?
Other people wouldn't want any painful experience to continue. They would try to stop it by themself or get help from someone close.
For Shouta, he had mixed feelings about it.
He wants to end his suffering but he doesn't want the punishment to stop. It's "I hate it but I must endure it".
His throat still hurts. Today he decided to not go outside, avoiding any interactions with anyone. It wasn't a punishment he wants to put himself in, but it is the punishment he got from nearly tearing apart his vocal cords.
"Dammit…" his voice sounded small.
Can't believe that I did that last night…
Last night was an emotional ride. His broken knuckle was still being treated by Yamamoto and Kado. Both of them didn't ask what happened because they knew Shouta was too embarrassed to say it.
I outdone myself, didn't I?
Was it even worth it to scream that loud?
What can someone—like Shouta—do when they decide to not go outside for a day?
Unlike other loners, Shouta has someone by his side.
"Ichika…"
His words were cut by Ichika, putting her finger on his mouth.
"You should not speak! Rest your voice. Here, I brew tea for you!"
Shouta nodded in response. Not talking should be easy for someone like him.
Last night, Shouta felt dizzy and couldn't walk properly. Ichika had to call for help and luckily, there was someone who was willing to help him.
He was a tall young man, roughly the same height as Shouta. He had brown hair and sparkling green eyes. He looked like he was just coming back from his job.
"Thank you, mister!"
"No problem! Anyways… are you two close?"
"Umm… we're both dating currently"
"Really?!"
"Y-yeah…"
"What's your name?"
"Takanashi Ichika, nice to meet you mister"
"Nice to meet you too, Takanashi. My name is Aio Ishigami"
Who carried me here?
He thought to himself.
It's impossible if Ichika carried him on her back. But it would be very nice to experience that once in life. The image of his girlfriend carrying him like he carried her filled his head, making him relaxed.
"The tea is nice, sweet"
"I'm glad that you like it!"
Shouta nodded, trying to say thank you without voicing it.
"You're welcome!"
Ichika smiled.
"Oh yeah, Shouta. Someone gave me this" Ichika handed Shouta a letter. "He said to give it to you. And he's the one who carried you here!"
Shouta opened the letter. Inside was a piece of paper and a key chain.
——Fujiwara wanted to thank 6ouyou for the money, and she bought you this!
Ichika peeped her head around the corner of Shouta's vision. Her eyes read the same words as Shouta's.
"Wah! Aoi sure is kind!"
"Yeah… he is…"
"I'm glad my boyfriend has a nice friend!"
"Hmm… yeah"
"Anyways, Shouta, I…."
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry I forced you yesterday…"
Oh, yesterday…
"All I wanted was for you to be my content boyfriend. However, I will always welcome you! Despite the fact that my boyfriend has a history of bad behavior! He is currently the person I refer to as my boyfriend!"
His soul was filled with a warm feeling. Shouta pats Ichika's head with a smile.
"Thank you…"
Ichika smiled.
"Well, then… I'm going to sleep…"
"Yeah, goodnight!"
"Goodnight"
Shouta covered himself inside his blanket. Beside him, layed Ichika, who was willing to take care of her boyfriend.
Before, Kado told Yamamoto to take care of Shouta for him. He clearly doesn't want to bother Ichika with Shouta anymore. To stop Kado from choosing Yamamoto, Ichika confessed about his relationship with Shouta.
And look where she is now.
Laying on the ground, not even a hint of tiredness in her eyes. She turned her body towards Shouta, sleeping like a little baby.
Ichika smiled, then closed her eyes to start falling asleep.
His body was shaking. Being shaken.
"Hey! Wake up!"
Shouta answered his sister's calls.
"Huh?"
He opened his eyes and woke up. Awakened by the cute voice he heard from his dream, no, it wasn't a dream.
"Thanks for waking me up, Mia"
Shouta rubbed his eyes.
"You should've slept early, brother!"
"Yeah, I should've…"
Shouta got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He flipped on the lights, and stood in front of the mirror.
Same as always, it's still the same Shouta. A 19 year old college student, living his life like he did 4 years ago.
"Brother, why are you staring intensely at the mirror?"
"Sorry, I just wanted to see who I am"
"What kind of reason is that?"
"Forget it. Let's go eat breakfast!"
Shouta left the bedroom with his sister following behind him.
From the hallway, they could already smell the food.
"Good morning, Miss Yamamoto" Shouta greeted.
"Good morning! Master Kazehaya!"
Both siblings sat on their chairs and waited for the food to be ready.
"We're having ramen today! Here's your ramens!"
Yamamoto gave the two bowls of ramen. The smell was nice, anyone could smell the spiciness just from smelling it.
"Thanks for the meal!" both siblings said in unison.
Shouta ate his breakfast and got ready to go outside. His knuckle still hurts and was wrapped around in bandages.
"I'm heading off!"
"Brother! Miss Takanashi wanted to see you at the Koshigoe station!"
"Aight! I'll be heading there!"
"Have a safe trip!"
Mia waved him out of the door.
He ran into Sara on the way to the station.
Sara walked over to him and started talking.
"What're you planning to do today?" Sara asked.
"Walking"
"Don't you have anything else to do?"
"Breathing"
"...."
"You, Sara?"
"School, work and homework"
"Stressful life, huh?"
"Thank you for noticing"
"You're very welcome"
"So, where are you going now?"
"Meeting Ichika. She said, she wanted to meet me at the station"
"It's a small station, it would be easy to spot her, right?"
"Yeah, but I think that's not the case right now…"
As they stepped onto the station platform, looking at both ends, the station was completely empty.
"Wow, what a good boyfriend you are. You made her wait and now she's gone" Sara said sarcastically.
"Let me message her, maybe she went out to buy something"
"Yeah, that's probably the case"
"Oh, looks like you got here before me!"
Someone walked up onto the platform of the station.
Wearing a white dress and teal sun hat. Ichika carried a paper bag in her hand. She had visited a nearby bread shop.
"Here, I bought you a cream bun"
"Thanks"
She handed a small plastic wrap, inside was the cream bun.
"Sorry Fujiwara, I didn't know you were here too!"
"It's okay, Takanashi. At least your boyfriend here is happy to see you"
The train came and stopped. The doors opened.
Ichika sat right next to Shouta. And Sara sat beside Ichika, trying not to get close to Shouta.
"Aren't you going to school today?" Shouta asked.
"No! Today I will meet a new student! My homeroom teacher asked me to meet her at a small restaurant near here!"
"Near here? Then, why don't you walk there?"
"Well… it's still 8 am. And she wanted to meet me there around 9 am"
"...so, your new friend is a girl?"
"Yes! Want me to introduce you to her?"
"Do whatever you want, as long as you're happy"
"...."
"...."
"Uhmm, Shouta…"
"What is it?"
"Are you feeling… better now?"
"Hmm? I do feel better, my mind feels lighter than usual and my throat is doing great"
"Really?" Ichika sighed, then continued. "I'm glad you're doing fine!"
"I'm glad I'm making someone happy"
"Hehe, you're welcome!"
Ichika cheerfully laughed.
As he spoke with Ichika, Shouta kept his eyes fixed on the glass. There was something intriguing about looking out the train window. However, only the city was visible, with none of the ocean visible.
He was worried about something else in addition to not looking at his girlfriend while she was talking. Something had been bothering him since the moment he awoke. His reflection—
"—huh? Looks like everyone's here"
A woman by the name of Kohaur Minase talked.
She stood in front of Shouta, dressed in a long-sleeved black sweater and a white skirt.
A future star stood in front of him, hiding her face behind sunglasses.
"Shouta, who's that?"
Ichika asked, not having a single idea who the girl stood in front of Shouta.
Shouta moved closer to Ichika and whispered into her ear.
"Remember Koharu?"
"Oh! Koharu, good morning!"
"Morning, Takanashi"
Koharu smiled.
"Koharu, any plans for today?" Sara asked.
"Mmm, today I'm actually free. I was just planning to buy a figurine from akihabara but then, I ran into you three"
"Who's the new figurine?" Shouta asked.
"A blue haired maid from another world, and she's a demon"
"Oh, I know who she is!" Ichika grinned. "She's the demon maid from a light novel, right?"
"You read the light novels?" Koharu asked.
"Yes, I read them! I have caught up to the 26th volume"
"Would you please let me borrow them?" Koharu pleaded.
"Of course! But, maybe at the end of the day?"
"Alright then!" Koharu promised.
Shouta and the others exited the train at the last station and proceeded to the next station.
They stood directly above the ramen shop Shouta and Koharu had visited two days before. The station they were going to, Fujisawa Station, was right in front of them.
"Ah! I forgot!" Ichika screamed. "I need to go back to Koshigoe station!"
"Wait! I'll join you!" Shouta chased her down the stairs.
"Where are those two going?" Koharu asked, facing towards Sara.
"Takanashi said she needs to attend a meeting with a new student from her school and I guess Kazehaya just wanted to tag along"
"Oh…"
They both stood there watching as the two couples vanished from view.
Sara went to the platform for the train that was going to a station near the school, while Koharu took the train to Tokyo.
"Can I ask what this new student looks like?"
"She's a girl from Kyoto and she has really cute pink hair"
"Pink hair?"
"She dyed it, obviously"
"No, I just think it'd be weird if you dyed your hair pink..."
"But it looks perfect on her!"
"I guess… you have your own tastes"
"What does that mean?!"
"Nothing…"
The train heaved at a pace so slow, it seemed like it was picking up speed.
Shouta relaxed his shoulders and sighed.
I wonder who this friend is…
The train went by rows of houses before coming to a halt at Koshigoe station. The doors opened after the alarm bell sounded. Ichika and Shouta walked hand in hand out of the station and across the street to a nearby restaurant.
The waiter greeted them as they entered the restaurant and led them to an empty seat. Ichika looked around to find the new student, but it looks like they were a little too early to the restaurant.
"I guess we'll wait here… let me read the menu"
"This restaurant has a really expensive cake, wanna try?"
"No thanks, I would like a normal drink"
"Water?"
"I guess… but I want something sweet"
"Chocolate milkshake?"
"Mmmm, I'm not a fan of chocolate"
"Then, how about a coffee?"
"If it's coffee… my favorite is your cafe's signature coffee"
"Oh, why's that?"
"You've been making me the same coffee for four months and have no idea why I like it?"
"No"
"Because the sweetness is sufficient! I just needed half a cup of coffee to regain half my energy!"
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yes it is so!"
Ichika pressed her lips together and gave Shouta a stern look. Her chubby cheeks, on the other hand, detracted from her serious appearance and instead enhanced the cuteness of her already adorable face.
The front door opened after the bell in front of the restaurant rang. A teal sweater and a long white skirt are worn by a young lady. Her hair was short, reaching just to the nape of her neck.
"Is that her?" Shouta pointed.
"Huh?" Ichika grinned as he stared in the direction Shouta pointed. "Yeah! She is the new student!"
She then raised her hand in the air, signaling the girl to approach their table. Every time she took a step, Shouta noticed the girl's hair dubbing up and down. Her face was pale like Ichika's, and her smile could bring a warm feeling to one's heart.
"Shouta… there's something I didn't tell you…"
"Oh? What is it?"
"She…"
"She?"
"Can't hear"
"O-oh…"
After that, Ichika grinned and waved. The girl smiled and returned the wave. Both spoke in a sign language that Shouta was unable to comprehend. Shouta was under the impression that they were just discussing school matters.
Suddenly, Ichika felt something on her arm. It was something wet and it wasn't from her drink…
"Shouta? Wh-why're you crying?!"
"Huh? Me crying? N-no… it's not possi-sible…"
"Hey, calm down there"
"I… I am ca-calm…"
Shouta wipes his tears, laughing at himself, with Ichika soothing him and offering him some water to drink. Ichika sensed that this would take some time, but Shouta told her that he was fine; however, Ichika didn't want to see his boyfriend cry again.
Ichika then apologized to the girl and requested that she wait. She concurred.
"Let me go to the bathroom, continue your meeting"
"Oh… alright then…"
Shouta stood up and went to the toilet, tears in his eyes and his face hidden from view.
He switched the sink valve while he was in the bathroom. He accidentally splashed some water on his jacket as he washed his face with a handful of water.
"What the heck… you know she is the one!"
He had acknowledged it in his mind. He recognized the girl with pink hair as someone he had met before and who had left an indelible impression on him. He couldn't get her face and eyes out of his mind.
He exited the bathroom and returned to his seat at the table. They're still communicating in sign language, which Shouta doesn't understand.
"Have you calmed down?"
"Y-yeah… I have…"
"...I see. Let me buy you something sweet"
"N-no, I don't like sw—"
"Excuse me, Mister! I'll order a chocolate shake!"
A waiter passed by Ichika's table and heard her order.
"Alright ma'am! Anything else?"
"That's it!"
"One chocolate shake coming right up!"
The waiter walked away from the table and into the kitchen.
Ichika then talked with the girl once more. She hasn't yet introduced her new friend to Shotua. When Shouta set eyes on the girl, he burst into tears, leaving Ichika perplexed and concerned. Is it as a result of something she's done wrong? Is it because of the girl, or is it something else?
Tapping his fingers on the table, Shouta grabbed the girls attention. His tears had already dried up and his voice didn't stutter.
"Ichika, could you translate?"
"Huh? Sure, say the thing you want"
"Don't be surprised, okay?"
"—?? Okay…"
Shouta takes a deep breath.
"Nakamura Tsubaki… do you know who I am?"
Ichika was taken aback. She paused for a moment before translating it to the girl. Shouta was also perplexed by what the girl had said.
"She does…"
"I see…"
He clenched his fist tightly, tears in his eyes. He clenched his teeth and shifted his gaze to his feet.
"I'm sorry…!"
He screamed. Before Ichika could respond, Shouta dashed to the restaurant's front door and exited. Her expression was perplexed.
"Shouta—!"
Shaking off the voice trying to stop him, Shouta rushed down the road in a daze.
Why? Why at a place like this?! Why at a time like this?! I'm not ready! I'm not ready to meet you!
With his attention devoted solely to running, he didn't know how much time passed. Out of breath, his knees begging for mercy, sweat dripping down his chin, he kept running. If he didn't keep running, the incoherent emotions following behind him might catch up.
—Blood suddenly drained from his head, making his heart, beating so powerfully, feel distant.
His limbs grew heavy; he found himself dragging his feet as if they were rejecting him.
Wh-why…?
He staggered to the ground after his knees buckled. People were watching him roll around on the floor in agony.
—his own voice was threatening his throat, again.
Biting his lips, he aired his bitter hatred of the situation he'd become wrapped in. The blue sky unfolded before Shouta's eyes, reflecting his hate right back. And…
"...The ocean."
The calming waves hitting the shore.
—Shouta minds suddenly become clouded with thoughts of the past.
He didn't know why he should live. Yet he was too afraid of death to die.
Shouta wailed, clawing at the ground at how truly pathetic and unsightly he was.
He continued to weep and mourn his own wretchedness until his endurance finally gave out.