The morning sun rose above Teyvat, casting a light yellow glow over a gray-bluish arena northeast of Mondstadt. Standing next to the arena were four figures.
"So, we're going to fight something called an Anemo Hypostasis which," a pause, "is really just a cube that I also happened to have fought a while back."
"Uh, didn't know about you fighting it, but yep."
"Great. Question then."
"Yeah?"
"Where's the orange-haired boy from yesterday? Thought he wanted to fight us."
"He said some business came up so he'll be joining us later today."
"K. Got any questions, bowman?"
"None from me. Since you fought this boss before, care to tell me anything about it?"
"Woah, Archer being direct. Not something you see everyday."
Dodging a blade accompanied with a "shut up", Cú yawned a bit before adding on, "Fight it by yourself. You can take it anyway."
"..."
"Actually, I agree with Lancer."
"Paimon too! Lancer fought Childe almost all by himself yesterday so Archer should also fight a boss by himself!"
"Paimon, Lumine."
"Yes?", the duo said in unison.
"Not helping, but fine."
Stepping into the arena, Emiya looked warily at the cube.
"Hey Archer! You have to walk towards the cube to activate it-"
Whoosh!
An arrow as fired, pinging off the stone sides of the Anemo Hypostasis.
"-or just hit it."
With the sound of a blowing wind, the Hypostasis 'woke up' and began attacking.
Clap, Drill, Clap, Above, Above, Above, Above
As Emiya continuously processed the boss's attacks, he filed the key information away as important memory for later. After all, it was likely that there were more Hypostasis than just an Anemo type.
"Hey! What's taking you so long? I would have already beat it by now!"
Paimon and Lumine were also confused by the way Emiya was simply dodging without attacking.
Pulling Lumine out of(supposed) earshot of Cú, Paimon whispered.
"Hey Lumine, what's he doing?"
"Not sure. I'm also pretty confused."
"Hmm. Given that Archer is really strong, he's probably not scared of the Hypostasis right?"
"Probably."
"Or maybe he's scared of wind! Oooo weakness found!"
"Sorry little one, but Archer doesn't have some kind of weakness like that", Cú said, appearing in a flash next to Lumine.
"Waah! You scared Paimon!"
"Dammit Lancer! How the hell did you even move that fast?"
"Eh. I'm pretty fast for a Servant. Anyway, your musing isn't right, Paimon and Lumine. While I'm not sure what that bastard is doing wasting time, I'm sure he has his reasons."
"You think so?"
"Yeah. I would know. He fooled everyone during that event too."
"Huh? What event?"
"Paimon, don't worry about it. Remember, he isn't from here either so no need to question everything."
"Hmph. Fine! Paimon's just curious, thats all!"
"Haha, sorry Paimon, but Lumine's right this time. I'm not too interested in sharing. Anyway..."
Taking a deep breath, Cú yelled loudly at Emiya who was still dodging around.
"Kill it already! We don't have all day!"
Emiya winced.
"Too loud, dog. I'm an archer, Lancer. Besides good eyes, we generally have good hearing too."
"Yeah?? Well listen and finish it up! Or are you just too weak?"
"Hmph."
Emiya stopped dodging and stood still before the Hypostasis.
"Sorry, but it looks like our dance is over."
After waiting for the hypostasis to drop down, Emiya projected both of his blades before whittling the boss's health at an insane speed.
Suddenly, the boss flashed and disappeared before reappearing in the middle of the arena.
"What?"
"Archer!", Lumine called out, "Get those particles in the air! If you don't get them in time, the Hypostasis will revive itself and continue coming in and out of that revival stage."
"Alright."
Emiya became a blur and disappeared before reappearing right where he was before.
"Done. Now what."
"Now, we wait."
"For what?"
"That."
Whoo~
With the sound of a refreshing wind, the Hypostasis reappeared with barely any health left.
"I thought you said it wouldn't revive!"
"It won't revive again! This is the only Hypostasis like this anyway so just deal with it!"
After a couple seconds, the Hypostasis was defeated.
"This is the only?"
"There's more Hypostasis out there. You didn't think Anemo was the only one did you?"
"Well..."
"Of course he did. Mr.Lancer here doesn't really excel in the logic department."
"Hey! I'm pretty smart y'know."
"I figured out your identity."
"That's because you were cheating! As if I could find out the True Name of someone who didn't exist yet!"
"True Name?"(Paimon)
"Er....."
You screwed up, Cú.
Don't need to tell me that, Emiya!
"I knew it! So Archer and Lancer weren't your real names!"
"Wait you knew, Lumine??!"
"Well duh. Who names themselves 'Archer' and 'Lancer' anyway?"
"Hmph! Paimon doesn't know but...but there could totally be people out there called Archer and Lancer!"
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what are you two's real names anyway?"
"That....ugh! Fine. I was getting tired of having to make sure I didn't spill this guy's name anyway. Nice ta meet ya. I'm Cú Chulainn, the Hound of Ireland, but just call me Cú. And this guy is-"
"Emiya."
Hoho, giving away your name so easily eh?(Cú)
Well, it's not like they would recognize me anyway. This world's past and present is clearly seperate from ours.
...Good point.
"Well nice to meet you two, Cú and Emiya. Our names are still the same. Anyway, ignoring the fact that you two lied about something pretty crucial, we're off to the domains."
"Domains?"
"Yeah. It's like ruins filled with scary monsters, but they give great rewards!"(Paimon)
"....You're just using us to farm aren't you?"
"Emiya!"
"Stay out of this Cú!"
Lumine and Paimon pouted, "So you found out!"
"...."
"What?"
"It's not like you two were really making it a secret what with having us go kill all the bosses and now these...domains? under the pretense of experiencing our strength."
"Oh."(Paimon)
"..."
"Paimon thought we hid it pretty well!"
"No, you two didn't although unlike this bastard, I wasn't gonna point it out."
"Cú."
"Yea?"
"Pretending to be a gentleman isn't exactly like you."
"I do what I want 'kay?"
"...Anyway, let's skip these domains. You two mentioned that Childe was going to meet us later today correct?"
"Yep. He seemed pretty excited so I feel kinda bad for him."(Paimon)
"That's correct. Sorry about the challenge though, it's part of his nature."(Lumine)
"Nah, we ain't worried about that."(Cú)
"Say, why don't we get lunch? It's midday anyway."
"Already? Damn, this world's time is way to fast!"
"Tell us about it", the female duo deadpanned.
~A Hilichurl's camp~
"See that campfire over there? I'll make us some food there once we get rid of the hilichurls."
"Hilichurls. Strange name."
"Your name is stranger."
"....."
Get rekt Cú.
Emiya. Stop. it. Or else I will chuck this spear at you.
Slightly pissed, Cú ran towards the hilichurls and beat them all up, taking out his frustration on them. Except....
"Teleportation?"
"Lumine. Paimon. We don't teleport. That's just him running."
"Whaa?"
"That's so fast then! One second he's next to us and the next second he's over there beating up hilichurls!"
"Yeah well, he is on the faster side of Heroic Spirits."
"Faster than you?"
"...Sadly."
"Huh."
After Cú had exterminated all the surrounding hilichurls, the four made a circle around the campfire, each being sitting or staying near a log.
"Well, I guess it's time for my cooking skills!"
"Ooo! Paimon wants something tasty!"
"Hmm. For today's menu, it'll be Fried Chicken, Qingce-style Stir Fry, Almond Tofu, and just because you two are from elsewhere, I'll make Adeptus Temptation this time."
"Yay!"
"Interesting."
Emiya, you better memorize these dishes if they taste good.
Oh I WILL.
~After Lumine finished cooking~
"Enjoy!"
Despite being seated in the grass on logs, the four greatly enjoyed their meal.
"Man, this is some good stuff! You're a pretty terrific cook!"
"Not bad. Are these local delicacies?"
Lumine beamed, "Yup! And made with local ingredients!"
"Mmm~! It's so delicious! Paimon wants seconds!"
"Sorry Paimon, but I'm not cooking those again. They take up a lot of items you know."
"So what's in these anyway?"(Cú)
"Well there's..."
Emiya, immersed in his own thoughts, mused over the food he had just cleared.
"Hmm. So these are food that buff the eaters. It seems this Adeptus Temptation gives the best buffs although that makes sense as Lumine took the longest to make it."
"Hmm....."
"Hey! Earth to Emiya! Or rather, Teyvat to Emiya!"
"Oh, sorry. I was thinking about things."
"More like thinking about how to make the food."
"Oh are you a cook or something?"(Lumine)
"Well yeah! In fact, he's the head chef at Chaldea!"
"Oh!?? Wait then Lumine! Give him some ingredients! I wanna see what he can make!"
"Um, sure. What ingredients do you need?"
"If you don't mind, I'm just going to recreate that Adeptus Temptation you made earlier. May I?"
Lumine winced mentally, thinking about the lost ingredients.
"Sure, I guess. Here you go."
"Whoa, there was a frog in there?"
"Yeah. Xiangling mentioned something unique would make a dish taste good."
"Huh. Please excuse me for a moment."
~After Emiya recreated Adeptus Temptation~
"Whoa!! This is so good! Paimon thinks it's better than Lumine's!"
"No kidding. You really did something amazing again, Emiya."
"Wha...wha...?" Lumine was left speechless, staring at a bright orange screen in front of her.
"What's that?"
"Probably something that tells her whatever buffs the food gave."
"Oh. I see."
"Huh? Paimon thought you two never ate these kinds of food before?"
"Consider it instinct on our part. It really ain't too hard to notice buffs that weren't there before."
"What is this??!"
"Something wrong Lumine?"
"Did Emiya put in something he shouldn't have?"
"What's up Lumine? Paimon wants to know!"
"This...this...", Lumine sputtered, teetering between shock and anger.
"This Adeptus Temptation is amazing! According to this panel, this verison is called...Buddha's temptation? Anyway, increases attack by 450 and crit rate by 20%. What the hell are these buffs??"
"Oh. I noticed that the dish was similar to a dish back at home so I simply recreated this world's dish with my world's dish in mind."
"But these buffs?"
"Eh. Must be an effect of a master chef. He had a near infinite number of years to improve his cooking skill anyway."
"...You two are downright broken."
"Only in this world. In our world, there's a lot of people with strange skills that don't really make sense half of the time."
"...."
"Lumine?"(Paimon)
"..."
"Hey Lumine, say something. You're scaring Paimon!"
"...Hey Emiya."
"Yes, Lumine?"
"Can you cook every single dish I have the recipe of?"
Emiya narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to reply only to be interrupted by Cú.
"Sure. This bowman likes to stay in the kitchen anyway. Let's just drop him off at a kitchen in either Liyue or Mondstadt. We can go pick him up later."
"Cú!"
"Alright! Then let's take you to Wanmin Restaurant in Liyue. While we're there, we can pick up Childe too."
"In that case, Childe will only be able to fight one of us."
"It's fine. Paimon thinks we can ask Childe to move his fight with Emiya to another day!"
"If you say so."
"....I don't get any say in this huh?"
"Oh, shut up Emiya! You get to stay in a kitchen for the rest of the day today and probably tomorrow too! If anything, you're probably pretty happy about that!"
"..."
"Well then, let's get going! Off to Liyue! And amazing food!"
"Yay!"(Paimon)