Li Jun has not been okay with leaving Li Na with her mother in that house, despite his concern with Li Na's mental state, he has to come back and focus on his own state of health.
When Li Na's mother mentioned his use of drugs in the past, the familiar feeling of anger and guilt gripped him so hard that he almost choked. The guilt towards his parents and his dead ex-girlfriend.
Walking towards the cabinet he picked up his keys and gazed at them, breathing softly as he looked at the bronze sobriety key tag he attached to his keys.
A shudder rippled through him, his hands shaking as he kept on looking at it. Li Jun closed his eyes. He didn't like the feeling and he didn't want to remember that cold feeling. Then if he hurt someone again through his past habits or carelessness, especially her, it would destroy him.
He rubbed the heel of his hand across his temples to soothe the headache that's been plaguing him for some hours.
Abruptly there came the sound of someone hammering on his front door. He wondered who was hitting on his door like that. Perhaps if he ignored it, whoever it was would go away.
He stuffed the rest of his belongings into the suitcase and examined his room for anything he could have overlooked. He didn't think he had, given how little there was, to begin with.
The pounding on the lodge door continued.
He snatched a shirt from his unzipped bag and put it on, then inspected the doorway gap to see who was banging, furiously. He attempted to turn around when he saw no one.
"Li Jun! Open the door!"
He came to a complete stop. It couldn't possibly be her. Why did she come here in the first place? She should be accompanying her mother at this time.
With a stunned expression on his face, he opened the door with care and precision. He closed his eyes for a beat, attempting to gather himself while keeping his grip on the handle. He inhaled deeply and looked up to see her staring back at him with a look that made his heart race.
"Li Na?"
Li Na was standing there in faded and ripped jeans and a hooded top, looking a little worn out. She was strangely dressed in mismatched slippers. Her hair was tied back into a sloppy ponytail, and her eyes were bloodshot and dark circles around her eyes as if she'd not sleep for days.
Fear and grief dug their razor-sharp fangs into him. As he escorted her inside his hotel room, he tried to force it down because he was curious about her appearance.
"What're you doing here?"
She sat on his bed and tried to force a smile, but it went far too quickly. Her eyes were flat, missing their glow.
"I came to see you," she replied with a very low voice. Li Jun frowned. "Can I get something to eat?"
"Um, yeah, sure. I still have a plate of food on touch," he replied as he brought the food close to her in a hurried manner.
He watched her grab and eat the food like a starved animal as he sat beside her.
"Li Na," he began, "what about your moth—"
Li Jun's words were cut off as Li Na slammed the spoon on her plate, the action made her look like a petulant child.
"I decided to give myself a breather, where it concerns my mother." She breathed, "I don't want to think about her tonight. Can you distract me, Li Jun? Please?" She slammed into him so hard that his back crashed against the bed behind him. Her hands were all over his hair, cheeks, and chest all of a sudden.
She felt good. So good, snuggled up against him, eager for him, desiring him. When her tongue slammed into him, he wondered whether she was wet and moaned into her mouth. In response, she moaned loudly and pressed her hips against his, pleading with him. He wanted to take her: right then, but the whole thing felt wrong?
She kissed him with desperate, non-sexy desperation as if he were a required narcotic to keep her from thinking about what she was feeling. It was desperate and needy.
His hands wrapped tightly around her waist, moved to her face, where he pushed her back. She panted against his cheek with her eyes closed and her lips still in a full, gorgeous pout.
"Li Na, st-stop" he gasped while tearing away from her, "Li Na, let's stop. look at me, whatever happens, you need to calm down."
She froze. When her wits finally returned, she lowered her head. "Um, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you." embarrassment flooded through her, and she blinked back tears as she slowly turned to stand up from the bed.
"That's not what I meant. Wait."He hurried to stand up, her back toward him.
"Don't leave," he whispered, pressing a light kiss to the edge of her ear. He leaned forward to bring his mouth to the right side of her neck, nuzzling her.
Li Na sniffed and sucked in a shaking breath and stumbled back from him. Her face was desolate and pained, and Li Jun was sure, from the relentless ache inside him, he was suffering every single punch of it.
"What the hell happened to you within a span of almost 24 hours?" he demanded as he drew her close to him and squeezed her more tightly.
All Li Jun could think was that someone had hurt her, maybe her mother, if that were true, Li Na really needed to get away from that woman, her words can be painful and thoughtless. He just never imagined how a mother can dislike her only child so much. It was beyond him.
"My mother, her words hurt. They are painful. I hurt" she managed, stifling a sob.
Her small shoulders shook and, when Li Jun loosened his grip on her wrists, she threw her arms around his neck and held him as tightly as he imagined she could. And that was fine.
He wanted her to hold him. He wanted to soothe whatever pain she was going through and then find the culprit and make them pay dearly.
"I need my father," she whimpered into his throat, his skin becoming wet from her tears.
Li Jun stilled, his hand resting against her back. "What?"
"My Father. I miss him so, so much." Her voice was hoarse and weak, but the desperate grief of her words was very evident in her tone.
"I know." Li Jun closed his eyes and placed a gentle kiss on her head. "I know, sweetheart."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she repeated, each word punctuated with a soft hiccough.
Li Jun continued to rub her hair, stealing soft kisses along the part. "What're you sorry for?"
"I . . . I couldn't help him. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't stop him." Her arms tightened around Li Jun's neck. " I shouldn't have dated him."
Li Jun inhaled sharply, his breath making a breezing sound against her ear. She felt his arms stiffen and his tendons press into her skin. "Believe me, Li Na, there's nothing you can do at that time. Your father didn't die in vain, he left a legacy of love for you in the last hours, he loves you no matter what your mother says. It's okay." He pulled her closer, burying his face into the space between her neck and shoulder. She was perfect against him, so soft and delicate.
Li Na nodded slightly against his chest, her tears became a soft whisper in the room.
After a moment of silence, Li Jun pushed his free arm under her knees and pulled her securely to him. After a couple of attempts, on wobbling legs, he managed to stand, cradling her in his arms. He walked slowly toward the bed; his nose pressed against her wet cheek while he whispered words of comfort to her: "I'm here. It's okay. I'm not letting you go."
Never letting any single part of her go, he lay down on the bed and held her closely.