Li Na's mother was a freaking mess on the way to the house, something Li Na has never seen in all her life of living with her mother. The preparation for her father's burial has been made and the doctor has her discharged, after an impromptu checkup.
Several calls had been pouring in as many of her father's associates kept calling and sending their condolences. The death of her father has been surreal and it was something she thinks she couldn't get over if Li Jun had not been with her.
Li Jun's silent support gave her strength throughout the situation and as she drove her mother to the house.
He has gone back to his lodge as he left Li Na to her mother with a promise to come back immediately after taking care of his business.
Li Na's mother's tears are streaming down her cheeks and trickling down her gown. She's too preoccupied with her forlorn expression to notice the drink Li Na has brought her. She continues to sniff and mutter "my God, my God" or "He's gone, He's gone" again and over.
"Li Na." Li Na's mother said, looking upward to Li Na from where she was sitting up in bed. As she surveyed Li Na's weak physique, her mother's eyes were wet with so many emotions tearing through her at the time—worry, indignation, fear, and, worst of all, disappointment and loathing.
"Mother," Li Na said quietly, her raspy voice breaking even more as she tried to fight back tears.
"How come you didn't die?" Why do you have to let my husband die in your place?' Li Na's mother sneered as she looked at her daughter, jolting Li Na out of her reverie with the inquiry.
"What are you talking about, Mother?" Li Na asks, her voice barely audible in the midst of the flames.
"It's entirely your fault!"
Li Na's mother's tear-drenched screech cuts through her, but it's the hatred in her dark eyes that makes Li Na's insides cut in a thousand pieces.
Was she being held responsible for her father's death? She was the one who invited the scumbag over and basically sang his praises.
Li Na recoiled as her face got clouded with disappointment as her mother was now blaming her. "H-how? What is my fault?"
Walking closer, she points a finger at Li Na's chest. "If it wasn't for that criminal…your…" She stopped and started pacing through the living room and trips over her own feet, pulling on the strands of her hair.
"You wicked thing, You killed my son after giving birth to you, now you killed my husband!"Spinning around, she sets her glare on Li Na.
Breathless and trying to numb out the grief and anger she felt, the smothering was reaching epic proportions, and the hammering in Li Na's brain was sending her almost hysterical.
Li Na was heartbroken as she faced her mother's scorn. "I know that you don't like me but you don't mean what you said, mother." She hissed while practically vibrating with anger at her words.
Li Na knows that her mother was not the epitome of motherhood as she never forgets to make her feel small with every word of disgust she says to her. Her constant disapproval was becoming tiresome.
Li Na's mother's gaze softened as she mentions her unborn son and her look hardening and slashing through the room as it lands on Li Na. "You took everything from me."
Li Na's throat tightens and burns.
She steps toward Li Na again, spitting at her face. "I wish you were never born. I wish it was my son and not you"
Li Na's eyes well up with tears. It's merely the pain and sorrow manifesting themselves. Her mother does not mean it.
Jabbing a finger at Li Na's chest, the action causing insurmountable pain in Li Na's heart, her mother's eyes were hard and angry. "I hate you, you wicked little thing."
Moisture blurs Li Na's vision, the word pricking into her innermost being. "Mum, please. You don't mean it." Li Na murmured as her throat shook with sadness.
She launches toward Li Na, screaming. "I hate you. I hate you." Li Na moved away from her attack as her mother kept on shouting with a shrill voice. "You ruined my life! You took away your father from me"
Li Na's emotions and longing for affection broke into pieces and tired of her mother's words and remembering her father's love for her in his last moments.
The words her mother said pierced through her bones and muscle, she suddenly felt sick and something in her broke as she made a dash to her room and grabbed her clothes with blind fury putting them in her traveling bag and making an attempt to get away from her mother's poisonous barbs.
"I need to get out of here," she muttered, bursting into the living room and grabbing at her bag, hoisting it over the floor, she turned and almost fell over her mother standing in her way.
"Wh- where do you think you are going?" Mrs. Xu eyed the bag and the red-bruised- grip Li Na had on it.
"Mother, I need to get out of here, away from you," Li Na answered, mustering all her strength not to avoid the gaze that was trying to make her feel tiny and stupid all at the same time. "I love you mother, but I can't stay here with you as you direct your frustration to me."
"What?" Mrs. Xu spluttered, her face clearing from previous deliriousness and loathing. "You're not going anywhere. You will go back to your room and drop your bag and stay here with me!"
Li Na was at her tether hooks at her mother's authoritative tone, it was grating on her nerves, she was not going back and she was on her last straw, her mother has no right to dictate her life, she is tired of it.
She couldn't be around people, much less her mother who refused to show her affection and understanding as a mother should— she was not putting up with such attitude again. There was too much to process, too many words at the tip of her tongue. She needed to be alone.
"I can't, Mother. I'm not staying with you tonight." It was a lie. Li Na knew it as soon as the words left her mouth. Her plan was to get into a car and never come back to the house her mother made unbearable for her.
"I won't allow it, Xu Li Na. You will put that bag down, pull yourself together, and stay with me. How dare you behave this way. What gave you the audacity to behave in such a way to me."
Li Na barked a sarcastic laugh. "Audacity? You won't allow it? You caused it, mother! You broke me with your words mother! Yet you still expect me to stay with you. I'm tired, mother. I'm so tired of it all!"
"Enough! You will apologize for what you said to me now," Mrs. Xu said in a low voice, "there are plenty of things you need to apologize for." Her eyes widened with disbelief. "You are not leaving, for it is your obligation to stay here with me as my daughter."
Li Na gripped her head and started laughing while tears kept streaming down her face. "Wow! Oh my God! Obligation? You told me I killed my father, now you want me to stay here with you, a daughter you hate. Mother!"
"Don't be heartless, I know you are going to that little boyfriend of yours. Is that who you want to be with? Do you understand how much you're hurting and disgracing me, by being with him? Do you know that he was doing drugs? He might be wealthy but he's a spoiled little brat."
Li Na's breath caught hard. She stared hopelessly at her mother. Her eyes began to sting with furious tears. "Yes, I'm heartless and I'm sorry I've let you down. I don't know how you get your information about Li Jun and I don't care," She moved around her mother, holding in her sobs. "I just need to get out of here."
Mrs. Xu went ahead and grabbed Li Na's arm. "You are not leaving. You will stay here for your father! You are the one the cause of your father's death with the choice of man you bring home"
That lit the fuse. "I know why I should be here, Mother," Li Na shrieked. "You made me move away because of your hatred and I was there the day that bastard killed him, remember? Just leave me alone to have a fu**ing normality in my life!"
Her mother raised her hand in anger to strike Li Na, but Li Na took hold of it before it landed on her face, the shocked and confused anger making a hollow in her soul.
She registered a gasp from her mother but didn't stay around to hear what she had to say as she yanked her mother's arm from her grasp, grabbing her father's favorite car key and exploded out of the room, and bolted towards the car and her bag was thrown in, the keys were in the ignition, and her foot was to the floor as she sped down the driveway away from her mother shocked gaze as she passed through the black and imposing gate.
Li Na tried her hardest to ignore the intense relief that consumed her as the road make a mounting gap between them and she so much wished for guilt to take its place. But the feeling of guilt never came.