We chatted after being satisfied channeling each other's desires. Now only hiss and remnants of sweat and breath are still unstable. We took a shower together. Arman uses a dipper, while I use the existing shower, cleaning up the remnants of activities with him. I admit I was the one who seemed to be in awe of her body, really strange, it should be a man who was amazed by a woman's body and her curves, but I looked at his completely relaxed and not surprised by my naked state bathing with him, who often stole glances and Paying attention to his movements when he splashes water all over his body is still me, while continuing to rub my body with soap and I also wipe my hair with shampoo.
After we finished cleaning our whole bodies, we didn't forget to brush our teeth, he grabbed a red towel for me, he wrapped the towel around my body, he tucked the end on the other side so it didn't fall off, while kissing my forehead. I smiled at him. He was so gentle and considerate of me, then it was his turn to put on his own towel.
"Ablutions first Nez, it's dawn." He started speaking after so many hours without a word because he was just playing the movements and expressions we did in the activity in the bath earlier.
"Are we going to pray Arman?" I asked in surprise and tried to guess.
"Of course Nez," he answered simply.
"Arman, to be honest, I am very ashamed of my behavior as well as the sins that we keep repeating. I am ashamed to face Him for now." Like I want to cry, I really feel that I am dirty, I don't deserve to wear prayer mats and mukenah, let alone ask Him for something?
"I always remember the message of my father and mother Nez, when I left to wander. They gave me one message that I should never forget, that never leave prayer, no matter how bad and dirty we are, because prayer is what will lead us to turn a corner. towards a bright path, if we feel bad and don't want to pray, then that badness will have no brakes anymore. We will forget God even more because we have never faced Him. We will fall further and further down." He consciously said that for me. He knows what is good and what is bad. What to do and what not to do, it's just that he and I are human, sometimes being able to control lust but sometimes being controlled by lust. I bowed my head in shame and contemplation.
"It's not just you Nez, I'm more sinful than you. I'm a man should be able to guide you, but I can't do that. Come on, I'll wait in the room okay?" He rushed to take ablution water to purify himself. Then he walked to his room, waiting for me to pray at dawn with him. At dawn, the faint sound of the call to prayer was heard, getting closer to the ear.
Arman immediately came inviting me to perform the dawn prayer together with me, of course the Imam (prayer leader) was Arman,
Not! He was so dashing and handsome when this was not the moment, wearing a blue checkered glove with a purplish color, wearing a black headgear on his head, looking dignified as well as polite. His face glowed as if it wasn't the Arman he was before, the face that had been washed by the ablution water, looked very different.
I also wore the mukenah (clothes for praying) he had prepared, yes Arman prepared one in his rented mukenah because it was just in case when I went to his place or Liza and other friends when needed to pray there.
I really can't let him go, he's too perfect to be left behind, this body figure that stands in the front position is what I hope to be my Imam, my world and the hereafter Imam in prayer and in my real life, ah what kind of thoughts are these? It will be time for the dawn prayer. Arman echoed the melodious takbir, instantly my heart skipped a beat, hearing the strains of the divine call, because I've never heard the call to prayer this close. Face to face with the Muezzin, but my heart is still filled with worldly desires, until now I still have not been able to bring sincerity in praying and prostrating to the DIVINE.
Maybe this incident is not anyone's fault, but it's my own fault, our fault, too much in the name of love, so that we forget the Creator. We are touched by the presence of problems that I am currently embracing in my life's vocabulary.
God Almighty, forgive all my sins as well as us, guide us in Your path after this Amen.
"Allooooohu ... Akbar"
We started the morning prayer together.
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After our congregational prayers, a serene scene where warmth was created for a moment, the heart and mind became calm and beautiful.
I heard him dhikr and said prayers, followed by me who agreed.
I also approached Arman, I took his hand and he let me kiss his hand. If this isn't an imitation relationship I want to be like this forever with you, but it's never possible ... It's never possible ....
While folding and arranging the sarong (man's clothes for praying) and prayer mat, I also helped tidy up my mukenah, we both knew that we had to go to Liza's house for a drama, that's how I was. When creating a problem. My beloved ones who will help save me. They help me not get bored.
Arman and I immediately rushed to leave the rented house and we both headed to Lisa's house as originally planned yesterday. Our journey was very smooth and Arman drove his motorbike quickly so as not to be late there.
With the door open we were greeted with a light breakfast there before taking me home, a piece of toast smeared with jam and peanuts and a glass of milk and coffee for Arman, less than ten minutes we had a warm conversation with Liza and her family and Papa, don't forget to pray deeply sorry we made them panic all night, without many words, Liza and Mama immediately drove me home to my car, of course Arman had to go home alone after saying goodbye to all of us. We all have to hurry because the clock is shifting and adding up. We all have to work as usual.
During the trip I talked a lot to Liza and Mama, but Liza did look less cheerful and a bit gloomy, when I talked to her she only answered briefly __ unusual.
It didn't take long, we all arrived at my destination, which is my house, already standing there My father and mother welcomed us, it seemed that they had been waiting for a long time, both of them gave the warmest possible greeting and service for the kindness of Liza's family all this time for the hassle- trouble this girl always caused.
Liza and Mama who had to leave for work immediately made them unable to linger there, immediately said goodbye and continued their journey, I didn't forget to say thank you very much to Mama and Liza, while Dad's response? Don't ask. it's normal and like in the past, angry and angry but let it be ....