I stayed leaning against the dresser. Bracing myself against it with my hands I could feel where the wood had splintered from Naziah's grip. My heart was pounding out of my chest from the encounter. He was my mate, no matter how much I hated it. Our encounter left me hot and bothered, which was apparently only the beginning of what tonight would bring.
I could feel what Naziah had mentioned and I turned around to grab a fresh pair of underwear from the dresser drawer. Grabbing a fresh pair of boxers I quickly slipped them on and threw the dirty ones in the nearby hamper. I put a pair of basketball shorts on overtop and walked back over to the bed.
Rather than laying down I just stared at it. Lost. Lonely. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Tears started to roll down my face but I still just stood there, watching the bed get blurry from the tears in my eyes. I wanted to sit on Murdock's bar and clean glasses with him. For him to give me a hug and turn my light off before bed. Even though I was twenty, Murdock always cared for me like I was his child. Making me feel warm and welcome. My refuge.
I've finally become strong enough to use my magic again. After my previous outbursts I avoided using it for a few days to regain my strength. I rarely ever had trouble controlling my magic. It was something about that bastard that made me lose control. I've settled on the fact that I loathe him with every fiber of my being. Even so I needed time for my body and aura to heal. I was planning on escaping within the next few days but that plan is hindered due to the fact I'll be in heat. Murdock's pub wasn't too far from his pack and it'd be too easy for him to sniff me out.
I could easily teleport there but teleporting requires rest afterwards. It's so physically draining that it's more often than not to sleep for a day after performing it successfully. The only thing that kept me awake for so long last time was the fear and adrenaline. Because of this I'd have to send word to Murdock ahead of time so that he would know to hide me. But I wouldn't put him at that risk now.
I turned and walked towards the window, flinging it open with a wave of my hand. The fresh air poured in and the sun warmed my skin. I pointed towards the forest and a flash of purple light flew out of my index finger. I waited patiently for the next few minutes. Taking in the sights and the smells of the outside world. 'Not long my dear love.' I thought to myself. My wolf tended to be much less rambunctious than others due to the fact that I'm a half breed. But being cooped up for too long has had her begging for release. Aching to stretch her legs and hunt.
A few moments later a bird landed on the windowsill. "Unstile unct ah carre." I muttered quietly to myself, flicking my fingers in the pattern I've done almost a million times. It was a conjuring spell, and the next second a pen and a piece of paper appeared in my hand. Walking over to the bedside table, I wrote a quick note, the bird awaiting patiently for further instruction.
"Murdock,
I am alive and well. Which I know you'll be glad to hear. I'm on my way home but it will be about a week until I'll be able to return. When I do it will be through a teleportation spell. I'll try to gain as much strength as I can leading up to that but you will have to hide me when I get there. I'll send you another letter the day before I arrive. You can not write back. I will be home soon.
Your lassie,
Emerson"
I folded the note up into a tiny square as I walked back over to the open window. I set the note down on the windowsill and the little bird gave a chirp. It tilted its head at me again and it took two hops towards the note. It picked the note up in its beaked and paused for a moment before it flew off.
I let out a sigh and the windows closed and locked themselves with another wave of my hand. My stomach let out a quick rumble and I realized the brief series of spells had left me a bit hungry. I walked over to where the food had been left earlier and looked at the contents of the dish. It appeared to be just a cheese spread with some olives and grapes. Something light to snack on since it wasn't meal time yet.
Even though I was hungry and my stomach groaned I almost vomited at the thought of eating anything. Deciding it might be easier to just sleep off the hunger I once again walked over to the bed and laid down underneath the covers. That's really all my days consisted of anymore. Walking to the window, then to the bathroom, then to the dresser, then back to the bed. An endless, mind numbing cycle.
I tossed and turned for what felt like hours trying to get to sleep. The normally comfortable blankets felt itchy and hot. My lower back had sharp shooting pains. No matter what direction I laid or how I supported myself I couldn't get comfortable. Eventually out of sheer exhaustion I fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up in a ball of fire. My skin burned and ached and my arms were covered in hives. The shooting pains in my back had intensified and spread from the base of my skull to my hips. My throat was so dry I couldn't even yell from the pain.
I threw the sheets off of me and rolled onto the floor, another wave of pain washed over my back and I managed a light groan. I threw the t-shirt and pair of boxers I was wearing off of me and my skin was momentarily blessed by the cold air of the room. With the short relief I crawled over to the bathroom door and swung it open.
I made my way over to the bathtub as quickly as I could manage and turned the cold water handle as far as it would go. I didn't wait for the bathtub to fill up before I pulled myself into it. The cold water immediately offered relief and I was finally able to get a better look at my skin. I was covered from head to toe in red blotches and patches of hives. I was itchy all over and my temperature had to be through the roof. Even with the cold water I was still sweating and I found it hard not to pass out from the heat and nausea.
After a few minutes the bathtub finally filled allowing mild relief to my entire body. I turned the water off and just sat there. Trying to focus on anything but the burning sensation throughout me. After a few minutes of sitting there my back started to spasm. It wasn't like a muscle twitch but like someone had stuck a burning pitchfork into my back and started to twist it.
I convulsed forward into myself and my eyes shot open. Instead of being met with the white porcelain of the bathtub I was met with water stained bright red. I screamed and tears welled in my eyes as I once again felt a searing pain in my lower back. I continued to cry out in pain and the water I was in only got darker.
I've never bled this much before, not for my period at least, and I didn't have any open cuts or sores. I didn't know what was happening. I hated being here, constantly left confused and abandoned. I never thought that having a mate would be like this. When I was younger I used to dream of finding mine. That he would treat me with kindness and love me unconditionally. I dreamed of having all the beautiful things that every other she-wolf wanted too. But after finding my magic and leaving my pack. After what those boys did to me. Everything changed.
As my mind wandered waves of pain swept through my body and the water started to become a deeper shade of red. I swept my hands over my body and through the water, trying to find the source of the blood. As my hands searched the underside of my thighs I felt something small brush against my hand. I searched the bottom of the bathtub and pulled the item out of the water. A small, T shaped, piece of plastic stared me in the face. It was my IUD.
Horror sank deep in my stomach as waves of pains surged through my body causing me to lean over the side of the bathtub and vomit. I leaned my head against the cool porcelain and took deep breaths, focusing on keeping the little that was left in my stomach down. Even Hell had to be better than this.
I lifted my head to be met with the image of Naziah standing in front of me. He seemed more concerned than startled or frantic, and he looked like he hadn't slept for days. His hair was a mess and his stubble was getting unfashionably long. He was wearing surprisingly modest sweatpants but his chest was bare. All of the muscles dramatically shadowed from the bathroom lights.
I knew that I should care that I was naked, that he didn't knock, that he was even there. Instead I laid my head back on the cool surface of the bathtub and yelled as waves of pain crashed through me.
He didn't say a word as he picked up and towel and walked toward me. He gently took the IUD out of my hand and laid it on the sink. I cried and shook as he helped me out of the bathtub, wrapping the towel carefully around my torso and gently picking me up. He held me tight against his torso as he moved throughout the house.
His skin was hot but it left a comforting sensation against mine. Where he touched me the pain started to disappear and my screams turned to sobs. I felt weak, like I was betraying myself. But what if this was it? What if this was everything I dreamed of as a little girl? Was it all worth the risk?
The questions softly repeated themselves at the back of my mind as I was carried through the house. Naziah paused to open a door and all of a sudden I was surrounded by his smell. The strong aroma of pine softened by rainwater. I opened my eyes as he laid me down on a bed against the far wall of the room. My body burned and ached as he pulled away from me and brought the covers over top of me.
As I started to cry again he hesitantly joined me under the covers pulling my body next to his. My tears fell on his chest as he combed my hair back from my face. The pain started to ease away but I was still boiling hot and started fidgeting with the towel that was wrapped around me.
"Would you like some help?" He asked gently. I met his eyes and they were genuine, not filled with lust or malicious intent.
I stared at him for another moment before I shook my head and moved away enough for him to grab the towel. He gently untucked it from itself and pulled it out from around me, tossing it onto the floor. After he didn't stop to stare or touch me anywhere he wasn't welcome, he just slowly pulled the blankets back over us and brought me back to him. I laid my head on his chest and he stroked my hair as I cried. The very last of the pain began to wear off and my eyes started to droop from exhaustion.
Keeping my face turned away from his I said, "I can't be this for you." The words came out as a weak whisper but they had the same affect as if I would have screamed.
His hand stopped and we laid there in silence before he responded. "Just stay with me." He said. "We can work through everything else as long as you stay with me."
I didn't respond, I didn't know how. I felt guilty and ashamed at how I had acted. Even though he was no angel I couldn't help feeling bad. Thoughts from our encounters hazily danced across my mind as I drifted to sleep. Held in the arms of a man I swore would never be my lover.