' I'm still tired.'
That was my only thought today. I can't even open my eyes. My limbs seem paralyzed, i can't move.
I hope I will be better tomorrow, I can't afford skipping work too much.
...
'I think I am in trouble.'
I have been in this state for days, maybe even weeks. I still can't move or open my eyes, everything is dark. It seems that even breathing is problematic and I don't think I'm doing it naturally. Maybe I was put on artificial respiration so I'm probably in a coma. More work skipped I guess, hope this won't get me fired.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Work? I do have but what is it?
Wait. Wait. Wait. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuck !
What's my name? Who am I? Great. Fucking great. Amnesia? That's so great. So what do I know about myself?
- I am in a coma.
- I have amnesia.
- I have work.
- I am a man. Probably.
- What else? What else? What else? What else? What else? That's it. Georges Clooney! That's my name. Thank God I remembered. So now that I know my name I will remember everything else gradually.
No. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
That's not my fucking name!
Calm down. There's still hope. If I remembered an actor's name from an advertisement then I'll remember other things.
Positive attitude! Positive attitude! We're gonna get through this, me!
...
I'm probably dead. Is this the after life? Why didn't I meet anyone? Where is the judgment?
Wait, do I want to receive it? Do I want to be judged? I don't know. I don't even remember who I am. No, I am a good person. I wasn't pious but I believe in God. I didn't do evil, on the contrary I did good. Not overly good but was normal.
Wait, what if I was an evil bastard but don't remember it? Can I distinguish between good and evil? Yes, I still have common sense.
So I do remember how I was. That's a start.
That's pointless because I still have the feeling that I am still alive. Dead people can't feel air in their lungs and I think I can feel my limbs and occasionally some shaking. Hope, there is still hope so let's fight to keep on living.
....
An earthquake. No, somebody's shaking me. Am I finally dying and someone's doing a last effort to wake me? Maybe it's someone who knows me, who cares for me. Is it my wife? No, I'm not married. Ah, I do have a fiancee, maybe it's her. My mother? My father? My siblings? Fuck, I don't remember them. I know they exist, I know them except I can't name them or tell what they look like.
Why hasn't the shaking stopped? It usually doesn't took long. This time it had been going on for hours, maybe more. I can't figure out the notion of time anymore.
Note to myself : tell the world about what comtose people go through. Comatose. Isn't that a song? Maybe if I sing it I will forget about the shaking.
*Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe*
I should stop. I do want to live and breathe.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
Why do I feel pain all of a sudden? Is this it? Are they taking off the machines? Am I finally dying? Fuck, I don't want to die not even knowing who the fuck I am.
My lungs, my chest, my throat, my eyes and my hole body are on fire.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH"
The pain is now unbearable, I don't want to live anymore. God, please. Have mercy and end my suffering. I accept death. I want to die, I want to die, I want to die,...
" Congratulations, it's a healthy boy."
Who's fucking healthy? I am dying you motherfucker quack, bring a...
Wait, did he say healthy boy ? Congratulations? Am I being given birth to?
NO, GOD. NO, GOD, PLEASE, NO. NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOO.
"Husband, I want to see him."
Husband? What is this, the middle age? Great.
I can see blurred figures, some colors.
" I hope you're going to be a strong man like your father, Wang Wei."
"Don't worry wife, I am gonna make him the best warrior in the city or my name isn't Wang Qiang"
He plans to make me a warrior? Would I be forced to hunt lions and tigers?
Great, really great. This life is gonna be so fucking great with those barbarians.