The night atmosphere was exceptionally serene. Millions of stars speckled the sky, its stunning beauty was difficult to describe in any kind of human words. Especially at Mount Laojun, as we were getting much closer with the night sky. As if we had been dissolved into the constellations. We felt as if we had been united with the wholly powerful nature.
It was this beauty of starry night which made Zhu Su so confident that his meditation would bring him to a good result at this moment. He looked around, then smiled happily. It was quiet and calm, no other people was together with him, he knew this area very well so he was sure that no beast would put his life in danger. Thereby, different from the first meditation session held in the day, he was optimistic that he would meditate well right now.
The split of training sessions with the lottery as he proposed was unexpectedly giving him a great advantage. He got his turn in this late evening, right when the night panorama reached the peak of its beauty. Zhu Su took a deep breath.
Heaven, I am going to start my meditation practice. May You bless me with Your guidance so that I can restore my energy in this meditation session.
Zhu Su sat in a cross-legged position, closed his eyes, and began to meditate.
There was no one but him, it gave him a big relief, no need for him to force himself so as to appear charismatic and perfect. He was able to observe the breath in and out of his nose more freely. The longer he meditated, the calmer his mind became. Calm, peaceful, and even sublime.
Wonderful. My mind becomes so tranquil. Wow! This will be my best meditation!...
He thought so.
But the fact was not like he thought.
His chest felt crushed, he suddenly turned breathless as a flash of memory invaded his mind.
"... Proof? Witness is more than enough, Your Highness. Runan Jun Wang has reported your movement to the Emperor. There is no way for you to make any excuses!..."
"... Unfortunately, Your Highness, both of you are accused at the wrong time. The Emperor actually intends to eliminate you. You will see then, the entire Fan Wangs of Ming Empire will be arrested and even sentenced to death!..."
N... no! I must ignore this thought! This is the wrong thought! I must return back to my breath!...
But another flash rushed inwards and disturbed his mind at once.
"...Because I don't want to lose you for the second time..."
"But you will sacrifice yourself!"
"I know, Your Highness. That is indeed my responsibility as a wife for my husband..."
Actually, the conversation chattered by the Team of Wellbeing this afternoon had already disturbed his mind. Especially Di Na's argument. Zhu Su felt that the argument was really appropriate for Feng Ruina, his wife who died because of the Wang Fei's foolish blind love for him. Hurtful and guilt whipped him at once. Further, more and more flashes of memories came into his mind. When Feng Ruina and he were talking in prison... when Feng Ruina retold a glimpse of the beautiful life they once lived before... and finally, it was no more than hurtful memories. When Zhu Su saw his wife had gone, left him forever.
"... Wang Fei has passed away, hasn't she?..."
"... This too naïve and inexperienced Emperor turns out to be a terrible monster. He is so hungry for power that he has the stomach to kill his uncle, aunt, and cousin. Especially your apostate son. Both of them are very unforgivable, my Lord! You certainly will not just remain silent, right?..."
"...You, for certain, will not let them live peacefully on the throne? You, for certain, will try to overthrow them from there?..."
Zhu Su's eyes were now fully opened. He was breathing heavily as if he had just run avoiding the chase of a tiger. He was almost out of breath, and his chest was very painful.
"Good Heaven... what in the blue devil is going on with me?..." Zhu Su murmured softly. It was difficult for him to re-arrange his breathing to be normal again. "Instead of meditating, why do I remember those bad things?..."
But even though his breathing had returned to normal, his mind could not calm down so fast. Zhu Su looked heavenward, staring at the endless vast sky. It was the second time for him to dwell in Yunnan. With the same reason as before; being exiled for unfair reasons that almost made him condemn Heaven. So, it was normal then, if the miserable flashback of his life could reappear and disrupt his meditation?
"No! It shouldn't!" Zhu Su soon shook his head. "It's all over... it's over! I can't let sadness disturb my meditation!"
Zhu Su folded his legs again, closed his eyes, and back to observe his breath.
"Your Highness Zhou Wang of the Great Ming, please stop arguing like this... don't fool yourself anymore. You're actually very upset and angry with all of them, aren't you?"
"Who's that?!" Zhu Su answered, his voice was full of anxiety. "Who are you, having such the guts to disturb my meditation?!"
"Me? I am the real of you, Your Highness Zhou Wang. I am your honest voice, which is always behind the mask full of dignity and gallantry you put up all this time. Your fragile self, who craves love and happiness... and so eager to avenge anger, hatred, and resentment on those who make us suffer!"
"My honest... voice?..."
"Absolutely. Because you are always wearing that kind of mask, as if you are a compassionate prince, who loves the people and the country, who is calm, strong and tough, then I am sick and can't stand it anymore... I decide to appear. Or else, you will ruin yourself!"
"I will ruin myself?"
"You're just pretending, Zhu Su! The real you actually want to use cruelty to destroy those who have done cruel things to you!"
"No... I am not..."
"Look! That is your mask, you are fooling yourself! I know you actually hate them all. Your father, your nephew, your son... you hate all of them who have treated you unfairly! Your father loves your older brother so much, yet he doesn't have any affection for you to the extent that he could "Destroying the King's Aura" to prevent you from becoming Emperor! Your nephew, in order to defend his power, has the heart to have you exiled and even wants to kill you! Your son, in order to seize your position, slanders and betrays you! But you pretend that you know nothing about them, you either choose to help the people who don't respect you... yes, they don't respect you! If they do, then why do they still worship Yunwen as emperor?! All your efforts will be ended up in vain, O my Lord! In vain!"
Zhu Su felt his eyes get dazzled. Bright, white weird light dazzled his eyes so much. A second later, he had been sitting on a very majestic throne.