Over the next days they were kept busy with all the ins and outs of when somebody dies. So many phone calls and arrangements to make and especially during these difficult times of it was hard to understand what and how to get things done.
Jan had made most of the phone calls taking the pressure of Andy who wasn't doing too well. She called the morgue and arranged for the body to be taken after the post-mortem to an undertakers in Camden. This would all take a few days and as soon as they had the results they would inform Jan and release the body.
They called Maggie numerous times each day but had not been able to physically hug her or speak face to face and give proper human comfort. This was difficult for all of them. It broke everybody's heart and after their phone calls they would all be in tears. Poor Maggie seemed to have lost the plot somewhat.
They were a strong family when it came down to it despite their dysfunction's and the love shone through during this sad time. They came together and spent time sitting and comforting each other. They started to eat together as Darren and Victoria took to the kitchen and cooked up beautiful meals for them all and for the first time in a long time they started to communicate with each other.
The only person that retreated even further was Emma. She had adored her Grandad and was devastated by the loss. Even Darren was finding it hard to get through to her. She looked so frail and ill. He wondered what was wrong with her but they put it down to the bereavement although something told him she was in trouble.
Poor Emma had to be coaxed out of her bedroom for meals and just looked so sad and ill. A couple of times Darren had gone into her bedroom but both times she had fallen asleep while he was talking to him. She had always been such a live wire it was shocking to see the life being sucked out of her.
Back in Camden, alone and afraid, Maggie sat in denial. She spent most of the day just watching TV, smoking and knitting. She wished they would all stop bothering her as every time she got a phone call it would jolt her back to reality.
It annoyed her being constantly asked if she was okay. Of course she fucking wasn't she would think to herself but each time she had to tell them she was fine and not to worry. Sometimes she thought of not answering the phone and a couple of times she would let it ring and ring but then when she answered it she would hear the panic in their voices. Oh God they probably thought I was dead as well!
Most of the time she could just blank it out as if Bill was still in the back bedroom. It suited her to continue like this and so she did. She was still wearing the same pink nighty from Primark with a Teddy on the front with its arms outstretched and the word HUG.
She had caught sight of herself in the mirror in the hall and had looked at herself in disbelief. Her hair with all its grey roots now showing and the rest of it a tarnished red against her chalk white face. I look like a banshee she had thought but hadn't really cared.
So the first few days passed like this with the endless phone calls as they waited for the post mortem results.
It was Jan who called her on Tuesday morning to tell her that Bill's death was in fact due to Covid and that his body had now been removed to the undertakers in Camden awaiting funeral arrangements.
Maggie said nothing in response and Jan kept asking her if she was okay.
'Maggie, Maggie Oh I wish I could be with you and give you a hug!' Jan started to cry again. Maggie then answered quite briskly Okay Jan thanks for letting me know and don't worry I'm fine.'
Then in a kind of sing song way she said 'Bye Bye speak to you later'and hung up.
Andy and Jan didn't know how to deal with the situation and both of them were distraught at the thought of Maggie being all alone.
'Why did she hang up like that I haven't even had a chance to speak to her,' said Andy.
Then Andy suddenly had an overwhelming need to just go to her flat and see his mother and to hell with the restrictions.
'This is inhumane,' he shouted 'For fucks sake we can't just leave her there on her own!'
'Perhaps she could come here and be with us?' said Jan, speaking her thoughts aloud.
'No, no that wouldn't work,' said Andy 'She needs and wants to stay in her own home. It was their home for godsake and she has gone through enough.'
I'm going to go,' said Andy quite rashly. 'I don't care I can't leave my Mam suffering like this.'
In reality Andy also needed to be with his Mam.
Jan started to panic.
'No, no Andy what about the rules and restrictions? You could get in terrible trouble.'
'I'll just move in for awhile, this Covid thing will end soonand everything will go back to normal.' said Andy.
Jan thought for a moment and started to think Andy was right. 'Look it's not like the pub is going to open soon is it?' He said. 'And you can look after the girls and everything here can't you?'
'Yes, yes of course I can.' said Jan.
'Look Jan, how can we leave her ? How can we let her sit alone and do a Zoom funeral? She can't even work the computer now can she?
I'm going to go and pack a bag.'
'How will you get into town?' asked Jan.
'I'll just get the bus and the tube I wouldn't be able to park in town and anyway I can always use Dads car can't I?'
'But what about the lock down? Maggie is in a two week isolation period.'
'Look Jan what does it matter I'll self isolate as well. Once I'm their what can they do?' said Andy, his mind made up by now.
Andy went upstairs to say goodbye. Knocking on Darrens door he went in and told him his plan. Darren agreed that it was for the best and gave his Dad a big hug.
'She needs you and to hell with these restrictions.' said Darren.
'Oh well, I'll self isolate when I get their you know.
'Listen Dad don't worry about Corona just look after Gran and yourself and I'll take care of things here.'
Tears came to Andy's eyes. Jesus, he was so fucking emotional. He nodded his head unable to get any words out. After a while he said the girls are still sleeping and I don't want to wake them will you let them know and I'll speak to you all later.
And off Andy went. He had to get the bus first on the Hayes road and then get off in Shepard's Bush and make his way to the Underground station
Once he was on the bus he sat with his mask covering his grief. He was relieved to be the only passenger. In fact the journey was like traveling thru a ghost town and somehow the desolation matched the way he was feeling. Bleak and grey and empty. He even started crying the tears making his mask sodden with sadness.
Oh my God he thought I've got to pull myself together. At least he felt he was doing something and this is what kept him going. He would soon be ringing his Mam's doorbell.
After the phone call Maggie sat down and turned on the television. Good Morning Britain was on talking about Corona as usual. Maggie had lost interest in following the Corona stories and statistics and just didn't want to hear about the bloody thing anymore so she switched over to Netflix and found herself watching a series called 'Bad Girls'. This occcupied her mind.
She would have to deal with things tomorrow she thought to herself and maybe she needed to admit her part in Bills death.She needed more fags and some food. She would ask Jan to order it for her as she certainly wasn't going to dare venture out again.
Her mind would wander as she sat watching Netflix. She couldn't get away from the fact that she must have brought the virus into the flat. Maybe she would also get the bloody thing and die. That would be a god send really she had thought. But she felt fine no symptoms.
She knew they were all worried that she could have it as well and tomorrow the police were calling around with a test for her. Her own health was the least of her worries because the guilt she felt at her part in Bills death had broken her.
She couldn't really go their too much and in the end had started to blame the corona. Surely it was more the viruses fault than hers. Still she should never have gone out. Bill would still be alive if she hadn't been so selfish.
Several times she would randomly pray and ask for forgiveness . 'Forgive me father for I have sinned,' she would say 'I am weak and not worthy of your love.' Sometimes she made up the prayers and sometimes she would remember the prayers from her childhood.
Then the doorbell rang . Oh goodness why can't they leave me alone. I won't answer she thought. What on Earth do they want now? The doorbell kept on ringing and Maggie dragging herself up off the sofa answered the intercom.
'Mam, it's me Andy.'
She buzzed him in. Her heart started beating fast and she quickly tried to straighten up the flat emptying the ashtray and running her fingers thru her hair. It didn't matter all that mattered was that her son was here. She opened the flat door and their he was her angel, her Andy with the tears rolling down his face. Maggie opened her arms and they both embraced.