even at home, I can't stop thinking about Avi's words. This boy is staying in my mind since that so-called fresher's day.
How to know whether my affection towards A-vi is real or not?
NEXT DAY...AT SCHOOL
Where is A-vi? Is he absent?
"Kelly, have you seen A-vi? Is he absent?" I said to kelly.
Kelly said," why do you need it? Oh, it's a piece of good news. A-vi changed his seat. He will seat next to lina. He knew the bad influence. he realized it late but it's okay."
First thing, why did I ask her? I know that none of them like me in the first place. And I asked about A-vi too. I am the dumbest person in this world.
Today I want to test myself to know whether I like A-vi or not but he has something else in his mind.
I think I should do it by myself without his help. but what to do?
(don't have any plans)
Today A-vi isn't here, near me so let's see if I feel any difference.
Lina is always at the first desk. I had only A-vi with whom I use to speak and now he also changed his place. Should I talk to him?
30 mins later...
should I ask him why did he change his place?
1 hour later...
should I just go and tell him hi?
What is happening to me? Kaia, just make your feelings stable, do you like Felix or A-vi?
"Felix,hi"
Felix was with that girl that I saw before. Felix heard me and replied to my hi.
"oh, Kaia what are you doing?"
I gave him a questionable look and turned towards that girl. "oh, let me introduce you to her. she is my sister. We are of the same age. She is a new student in this school. sorry, I forgot to tell you about it."
After hearing Felix, I was so relieved and I felt like my shoulder became lighter.
"oh, hi," I waved my hand and we shake our hands.
Now I don't have to think too much about my feelings. I am happy knowing that she is his sister which means I like Felix. No! I still doubt my feelings. I still feel anxious, I haven't heard anything from A-vi till now. where is this boy?
He is avoiding me.
"Kaia, Miss Bela is looking for you."
I can't believe miss Bela told me to bring her a book from the library, where I barely go to. I can't even pronounce the name of that book properly.
"good afternoon ma'am, I need this book." I feel boring to search for a book so I always ask someone for help.
"you can search by yourself." an old lady replied and I can feel the arrogance in her tone. she added," do you have a membership?
"yes ma'am," I said and forced a smile on my face even I didn't want to.
I searched for ten minutes but could not find that book.
why is this library so big?
The corner of my left eye caught something and that is the book that I have been searching for.
It is with a man. Man?
are outsiders allowed in our school's library?
leave this matter and just go and ask if he could give me that book.
" excuse me, sir,"
he ignored me.
"brother,"
he again ignored me.
" brother, I need a favor from you. can I borrow this book from you? I need it...I mean my teacher...,"
before I complete my sentence he looked at me and said," take it."
how cool...No...No...how arrogant person.
"thank you, brother."
thank you my foot!!
Where is A-vi? we can be friends. why is he completely avoiding me?
Felix and that girl going somewhere...
"Felix, Felix, Felix." why isn't he listening to me?
should I go after him?
"Felix, explain me. explain everything, will you? I will kill you if you stay quiet for any longer."
why are they here in this old building? And I can listen to them. Aren't they siblings? why is she yelling at Felix?
"I told you... let's talk later, after the holiday."
what are they talking about and why am I so curious to know?
"No! I need your explanation right now, right here. why did you tell her that I am your sister?"
" you know that sometimes I play around with people. I thought, why to tell her that you are my girlfriend. That's it."
"Are you playing with her? Are you serious? How your taste became so bad. she is like a tomboy and you got attracted by her? I am feeling shame to tell that you are my boyfriend."
"common babe, you know I am not serious. And you know what, I am sure she has a crush on me."
"And you know what, you are giving me a headache."
"I can give you something more."
I heard them. I heard everything. I am feeling very uneasy. my eyes couldn't hold my tears. somebody pulled me from my back. That person hugged me tightly and I felt the warmth of that person's body. I felt like that person wants me to ignore those two disgusting people by holding me tightly.
I felt the warmth.
That person was A-vi.
I felt like I was dreaming. I spend the whole day just thinking that how stupid I was?
"Kaia, classes completed. what are you thinking? you weren't attentive to the class. is everything alright?" lina said that which made me more emotional but I held my tears.
I am not that expressive. But...I really liked that guy.
He was the first guy that I fell for.
"lina, I... am okay,"
lina left. I want to tell her about it but if she... I don't want to look so stupid.
"Are you stupid?"
"No! I am not stupid. you are stupid." I yelled out so loud at someone whom I even don't know.
"I was just trying to tell you that you are cleaning the board with a broom. And the board is already clean."
"I am sorry...what was your name?"
" are you insane? I am your classmate. No...even more closer I sit near your desk and you don't know my name?
Miss Kaia, my name is Thomas."
"oh, I am sorry Thomas."
Is it raining?
"don't you have an umbrella? come I will take you home."
why is A-vi being so nice to me?
"No, I will go by myself," I want to be alone. if he becomes this nice to me then I can't hold my tears anymore.
I want to cry in this rain. I want to cry along with this rain.
My heart is aching and I want the cold water drop of this rain to cool my heart down.
"Kaia, you are coming with me. I don't want to hear no."
"A-vi, I said I want to be alone."
no matter what I do, where I will be, he will always stand behind me. I push him away but actually, I want him near me.
"you don't have to stay alone. I am with you and I won't live you in this rain."
He made me believe that he is with me. will I be able to trust him just after getting betrayed by someone I loved?
yes, I loved him but now no more.
"let's go to your home first and then I will go to my home," A-vi gave me a pure smile which made my heart lighter.
I walked with him. He was half wet and was trying to protect me from getting wet. I was already soaked in water.
we reached home and it was heavenly raining.
"stay at my place unless this rain stops," he agreed, felt like he wanted to talk to me.
"Nana, Nana..." oh, I forgot that she went home for tomorrow. it's her son's birthday.
"wait here, I will give you something to wear otherwise you will catch a cold."
A-vi saw me with a questionable look.
"what?" I asked.
"Are you sure that your dress fits me?"
I saw inside my closet," try this."
"do you have a brother?"
"no,"
"Is this your dad's cloth?"
" no, why are you asking me unnecessary questions?"
"no, just curious."
" no need to be surprised, I wear such cloth."
I just want to smile by looking at his cute expression but I can't. Am I still upset?
"drink this coffee, I don't think it's good enough but it's hot. so, drink before you catch a cold," I said and moved towards my balcony. it was still raining.
"I want you to talk to me," A-vi said.
I looked at him. He came near me and said," I know it's hard to hold pain in the heart so tell me what are you feeling right now."
" I don't know," I don't want to tell him.
I don't want to show him that I am upset because of that guy.
He held my hand with his hand by which he held that hot coffee.
I wanted someone to comfort me and A-vi did that. I could hold anymore so I told him," I am hurt by him. He said it so easily that he was just playing around. I was so stupid that I fell into his trap. The day when you said that you like me, I was thinking about him. I was thinking that I am not sure about my feelings, I like him and now listening to your confession. I am a very terrible person. But he was never serious about my affection. You know that when I met him for the first time, I felt like he was the only one who understood me. When I met him I felt like he is the most handsome person in this world, he is the one for whom I stayed alone till now, I won't be alone anymore, he will be there for me. I was so wrong."
"will you please stop talking about him?" A-vi said but I couldn't understand.
"you told me to say what I feel," I said to him.
"I am feeling...jealous. I told you that I like you but you keep telling me that how much you loved that man."
I don't wanna lie but he made me blush. I didn't expect that from him. it's still raining and I am feeling a bit relieved.
A-vi was standing there listening to me. I wanted to give him a huge hug but I don't want to make him feel that I am using him just to forget Felix.
A-vi quietly came near me and said," I want to hug you."
I didn't say anything but couldn't stop myself to stare at him. he said," I am taking it as yes."
He wrapped me around his arms. I felt so warm that I turned towards him and kissed him. I realized that I wasn't supposed to do it.
"I don't mean to just do it but...I am sorry but I don't want you to think that I am using you to forget Felix. I am..."
"I want you to feel comfortable with me and right now if it's happening then I am glad."
That night I felt like I found the reason to like A-vi.
" can you stay at my place tonight? I mean it's still raining and...," before I could say anything he said," same room?"
Is he always this straightforward?
" I have got two beds in my room so we can stay in the same room."
It's 11 pm and I still can't sleep.
"trying to fall asleep?" A-vi said to me.
"Are you facing the same problem?" I asked him.
"No, but I can see you changing position," he said and got up from his bed and said," I can speak with you if you want me to."
"I am just missing my mom. if she was with me then I would tightly hug her because I am afraid of thunder. Nana is also not here so I am feeling anxious. Don't worry I will try to sleep. don't worry."
He came to me and laid beside me on my bed and said," I am there so don't worry. you can catch my hand if you feel afraid. ok?"
I was nervous. it was unexpected. I said," hmmm."
I slept properly. That was a nice beginning. From that night we were no more friends. we were more than that.