We were so concerned about Annabella last night that we didn't even show Kate the surprise that we set up in one of the aisles of the store so when she woke up and saw it a big smile spread on her face. This is amazing she exclaimed, Dillan walked up to her and said that… it has been far too long since I saw that he said pointing at the smile on her face. I and Dillan found a small table and placed it in the middle of the aisle the girls did the decor and Annabella placed food she found in the store on the table and managed to find a cake, how she did it I don't. We laughed and played, I thought to myself I don't think I had a time like this since I was… with Amari. A flash of me and Amari zooming around the old grocery stores playing and making up silly games suddenly I felt the need to throw up. This isn't fair." I can't do this I finally said aloud my smile faded and I got up and left, I couldn't think straight my mind started racing and suddenly I lost control all the memories of me and Amari crossed my mind, and tears started rolling down my face. This isn't fair, this isn't fair, I heard noises and suddenly saw Kate.It's ok she started to say we will pray for her.Pray what has God done to help us, her concerned face turned to an angry frown, stop that wasn't God's work it was the devils and one of his many victories is when you confuse his work with Gods. I gave an apologetic look and said sorry then I started to cry again, why her, the only person that was there for me my whole life is gone, it's not fair I said falling to my knees. "listen" Kate said coming in closer, life is going to throw you down again, you have to be strong or you're going to give life the satisfaction of beating you. It's not supposed to be easy and lord knows how hard it will get. With that, she stood up and walked away. Her words ran through my mind as I felt myself relaxing, but I grew tense as a chilling thought came to mind: If life is only going to get harder, I will have to experience something much worse than Mari's death.
***
I decided to pull myself together and get ready for the trip. When I entered the room everybody grew silent. I'm going to go play UNO with piper Dillan said finally breaking the silence. ¨Robbie you coming?¨, sure I said responding to Dillan. Kate? Dillan asked. No thank me and Annabella was going to go take a walk. I haven't noticed before but it seemed as though Annabella and Kate grew a very close bond. As though they experienced something the rest of us hadn't. ¨Kate can I talk to you for a little bit¨. Kate gave Anabella a look and then walked up to me. We took a walk down one of the isles, ¨Thanks for… helping me I said hesitantly and slightly embarrassed. ¨oh, no problem Kate said, sooo… you and Annabella have grown close. Yeah, we have our similarities, it's just that when my dad was alive he wasn't always the nicest and when he got drunk it was worse, that's why I have some experience with Annabella. Kate turned to look at me as we turned the corner towards the exit… and Julius helped me through that, that's why we were so close, and the reason I'm so tough is that I'm a girl, it's so much worse in this sick world for girls. She waved at me and was out the door. I thought about her words as I went to go join Dillan, Piper, and Ana. I found myself having fun and began thinking about Amari mostly glad her 12-year-old self didn't have to experience the things kate and most girls experienced because lord knows the crime I would have committed if it had been Amari rather than Annabella running up to the store that day.