Marga's P.O.V
"We both know that our marriage is just a promise that we want to keep so that Shaina can be peaceful before she is deprived of life, so Klark and I decided that we really are." My voice was hoarse, I noticed.
I was really urge to cry as I told Jenica my thoughts, especially since I was being told something about what I was going through. But I keep my emotions in check. It's so embarrassing that I'm actually in front of her, so Jenica will see my dramatized and what are happening to me, the first time we meet.
I suddenly felt her hand caress my shoulder and she handed me a tissue to wipe my tears. I let out a snort.
I didn't even realize that I was crying
"I understand, Marga."she let out a sigh. "So you mean...you two just got married without love involved.
I nodded hard. And I wiped the tears from my cheeks again. My forehead furrowed as I bit my lower lip.
"He is the one who lacks it. I'm the only one who possesses it." I corrected what she said while weakly smiling at her.
Her lips parted in disbelief as she looked at me. "Marga, I had no idea that was your situation. That's exactly what you're going through…"
She lowered herself and stared at me after I finished the story. She sighed.
"What now?" she asked abruptly.
I scowled. "What should I do now?" I inquire once more.
She tsked and swallowed forcefully. Looking at me, he appears dissatisfied.
"Is that all? Just be patient and always be concerned when you're together?" her inquiry elicited a raised brow.
"What exactly do you mean?" I'm perplexed by her question.
"Oh, my goodness! Don't you understand what I'm saying? Have a career! Give it away!"
"What exactly do you mean?" I ask, wiping my nose with a tissue.
"What is a natural wife to do? Of course, entice him! After all, you're married, so just make up for it " she responded as if it were a simple solution. It's not that simple.
"J-jenica..." I gulped and shook my head
She tsked. "Marga, do you know what I mean? You're as lovely as I described you. That looks lovely and will appeal to a wide range of people. Look at how my son crushed you!" She chuckled, as if she'd managed to crack a joke. His joke made me laugh.
"Don't always believe you're lucky with Architect. Remember that he is more fortunate than you because he married you. He's lucky because you're still there for him whenever he needs you "she says, comfortingly.
I smiled at her.
"Without a doubt! Because you're so lovely, Architect won't like you if he don't marry you. Your beauty appears to be innocent. If I compare you to your best friend, er... I think you're more beautiful than she is." She smiled at the same time.
"Jenica, you're serious. That is not the case." I scowled.
"What's wrong? I saw a picture of her when she was still with Architect, and I have to say, she dresses better than you. But it's true! May your best friend rest in peace in heaven!" She made a remark while raising an eyebrow.
She laughed, I chuckled.
Many people say like that, while others, including my own mother, criticize what I wear.
"I know that." I'll just answer.
I immediately understood what she was saying.
"Your uhm…" she licked her lower lip. "your clothes are ... too much conservative. Why don't you wear something might show your skin? Like it's not the one you're wrapped up."
She said as if Shaina was the only one who didn't speak because she said they were the same. She was still staring at my entire body.
"And since you're only at home, why not just wear shorts or a shirt? It's not like you're sleeping even in the morning. It's like seeing your sexiness for the first time!"
That's what she was saying to me, she said again as if I could hear my mother's voice.
Shorts? Sando? I winced. I'm not used to it, I'm okay with my oversized shirt. But she has a point.
"Don't mad at me, huh? I'm just stating the fact. But still, you're beautiful. Keep that in mind." At the same time he raised his eyebrows.
"W-well ... thanks." I'm embarrassed to answer.
"I'm a lawyer! I know I'm right!" he laughed at the same time.
"Here I'm used to my clothes. Not in shorts and shirts." I grinned
at once. "I'm used to it, because Dad doesn't want to, because he's strict when it comes to the clothes I wear." I explained.
That's why it didn't take long to woo me.
"Let it go. Also hello? What are you? A fourteen years old? Like you're still a fucking teenager? You don't have a Dad to oppose you, Marga, you're already married." She rolled her eyes. "So Architect must look sexy on you!"
"Shhhh ... don't be loud, Jenica." at the same time I look around maybe later someone will hear or maybe suddenly Klark is here without us being aware of it because of the strength of Jenica's voice.
If Kissiah and I knew this, they would get along better and at the same time they would criticize me like crazy. Poor me.
"Why does your father limit you even in your clothing?" It's a serious matter." She complained as if he were the one who had been barred.
"You know... I'm the one unica hija because I'm here."
My brothers, the rest. I'm still the oldest and only girl, and my options are even more limited. Papa, unlike my two brothers, is not as strict. I'm not sure why."
"That's fine. You're already to separate tyour family, and maybe your father won't interfere again, but you're married, so I understand!"
"Yeah. But it's not something I'm used to." At the same time, I smiled. When I wear too many shorts, I feel as if I'm already naked when I wear too much shorts.
"Always keep that in mind, Marga." When you're married, be yourself for the sake of your husband. How will the Architect notice you if you don't even flaunt your lovely body? I'm not saying you're ugly, so I'm telling you that I say this to highlight your beauty. Please." Then she chuckled.
"Exhibit your cleavage!" Then she poked me in the chest.
I rolled my eyes at Jenica's actions. I'm astounded.
"Jenica, what are you doing?" In disbelief, I inquired.
"Oh, what?" she exclaimed, her face innocent as if nothing had happened.
"Did you just poke my... my?!?" I couldn't continue to ask because I was in shock.
"Yes, indeed! It's incredibly soft! So you're going to wear it something sexy! For me, the Architect jackpot is still there, "
She aimed her finger at my chest. She looked at me and clapped once in the air. I was red-faced. Jenica was even more tempted than Kissiah. More touch… err, she's really crazy as hell than my friends.
I bit my lower lip as I looked at her. SHe, on the other hand, was giggling.
"You're so naïve, Marga. Show hIM how you feel. Be demonstrative." she added.
"Demonstrative?"
"Oh my poor friend. It's natural for women we can't express our feelings to a man. So we'll just show it with our actions." She winked at me at once.
"You know. Actions speak louder than words." once more sway of her hand in the air.
Okay. I get her. But still, I don't want to be the first to show motive to Klark. I'll just think, I'm already smiling. Can I? oh god! Might just shiver with excitement.
But what if Klark did?
I swallowed. Impossible.
I swallowed hard. "I can't act like an indecent woman, Jenica." I answered.
She frowned. "Why not? When it comes to marriage, the word decent is not fashionable. If I'm with my husband, if it starts, start the fight right away. You know." she winked at me and smiled meaningfully at me.
I was swallowed.
"Jenica, I'm not like that."
"But Marga, you're his wife. Let's just say that your marriage is just a part of a deal? But that's it. You're marriage is not a fake, it's real. It's not bad if you show motive in him is how you really feel. Come on! Maybe it's not too late for you to prove to him how you feel? You are the only one next to him. What you said to your late best friend trusts you, then prove it. The trust she has given you to do, just as you promised that in addition to marrying him, then ... it is time for you to love him. And when you do that, you are aware right? You are still in the way of how you are he will be loved too. " She explains and she really has a point.
"That's why I always try my best, I try my best to take care of them doing that work like a real mother. That's why I'm hoping that someday he will learn to love me. Maybe I can seduce him but in a different way. Not being aggressive. I don't want to force him, I want to do it voluntarily. "I explained.
She raised an eyebrow. She put her palm on my hand and then stared at me.
"I understand, Marga. I know maybe Klark isn't so numb that he won't notice your act but it's different when you say it. You might not understand each other. You'll have a harder time. Your situation is more difficult because you gamble with Klark. Do you know that you have many roles in life? You're not just a wife and a mother, you want to be a nanny, nurse, doctor, bodyguard, teacher, hostess, and if you need a mistress, so be it. "
"Yeah ..." I just rested deeply and leaned back, almost stunned somewhere.
"Hey, cheer up! You're married and you'll always remember that. You really love him, so do it ! But I'm telling you Marga, just caring is not enough, remember that men also have needs. Sometimes you initiate uhm… you know foreplay when you have time! " at once she flipped the air into the air.
"Foreplay?"
She was turned away. "Sex, Marga. Sex." she clarified as if I could not pronounce. Oh ... crap! Here we go again.
"Be a game in bed. After all, he's your husband. When you wake up, she's still your husband! And no woman will do that but you. It's just you." she pointed his finger at me.
I was silent at what she said. Everything she said had a point and penetrated the recesses of my brain. I just don't really know how to apply it myself to myself. Game in bed? What's the game? Geez, the difficulty.
She was still planning to do what she did before and it's a good thing I touched her hand so she wouldn't continue. I glared at her. Jenica is really weird, I didn't know she was so nasty.
She laughed. "My gosh, you're really innocent. We're old Marga so you have to get used to what you hear. Be open-minded, that's the main thing you have to remember about yourself."
I smiled for what she said. I sighed. She's so straight to the point.
"I guess you're right. I'll try."
She also smiled back at me.
"It's up to you, Marga. It's just a friend's advice. You can follow my advice or not. Maybe the way you say it will fail, as long as you have plan B, that's my advice to you. I hope your relationship works. by Architect. I'll be ready when it comes true. " She laughed.
"Thank you Jenica, for listening."
"Anytime, anywhere my friend,"
She smiled at me. Soon after, Klark picked me up this afternoon. When I got home, I was right to suspect that Eili was really gone.