Marga's P.O.V
"Klark Linnaeus, do you accept this woman as your wife and you're willing until the moment of your life, to be in strength and weakness with her?"
"Yes. Judge, "He told me directly ahead while looking at me. No single reaction was revealed. He looked as cold and hard as he was marble.
As he stared at me, I almost shuddered my leg and put a lid in the cold.
He replied without hesitation without a blink of an eye. If that is true or am I still dreaming, can't I believe that? He replied as I had my own hands scratched. Ask me whether for a year I took the right decision. Though his eyes had been fixed on me, I couldn't see him directly.
Good god! We are getting married now! Seems like I want to slap myself if this is really true !?
He looks at me critically. Weighing the gaze. It seemed like I was going to have a heart attack. Pretty scary. It feels like horripilation. The one in front of me now will be my husband.
Will always be together. He is going to be my real husband, I still can't believe it... but I sighed.
He looks at me critically. Weighing the gaze. It seemed like I was going to have a heart attack. Pretty scary. It feels like horripilation. The one in front of me now will be my husband.
Forever? Seriously, Marga?
You are a fool.
You realize you still really like him a lot. Still in into him, huh?
"Ananda Marga, do you accept this man as your husband, and are you ready to be with him in strength and weaknesses, until the moment of your life?"
Damn. I seemed to be deaf to the strength of my heartbeat. My throat is also dry because of the feeling, why I have not spoken since earlier. Swallowing and nervous. Over time my heart aches with nervousness. I still can't answer yet.
If I said 'yes, I would be Mrs. Villaverde for real. If I said 'no', I'll break the promise I made to my best friend who died more than two years ago.
I could feel my sweating bullets dripping down my forehead. Even at my back, I could feel the cold sweating because of the cold air-conditioned I feel here inside the… small room. That there is not even a special one in it. Only well-known and important people are inside.
I simply wiped my sweaty hands on my skirt over and over again coz couldn't stop shaking.
In my cream-colored backless dress with above the knee, but my front is wrapped. I'm not used to it, I'm not used to this kind of clothing. If my mom didn't insist because Klark gave me this and he bought it for me, then I wouldn't wear it. So maybe I just wore a blouse or long-sleeve and a pretty long skirt, especially since my dad still hated I wore this before we came here earlier.
I clung so tightly to folding my arms around my abdomen. With so much nervousness, I feel like I will be nauseated by the beating of my heart, especially in front of my soon-to-be husband, who was waiting for my answer. He looked serious but his eyes seemed impatient to be saying I would have answered 'yes. He even mouthed me a word and I read:
'What now, Marga? Say yes! '
My lips parted and deeply sighed.
While I swallowed, Klark stood next to me at the judge's desk and looked at the judge who had a solemn wedding with us.
It's tall, it's just going to lower me if we put it aside. I can't deny that it's very beautiful, muscular, and with candy chestnut brown eyes that suit him very well. I see the looks bulkier and firmer, he has changed a lot. His hair is chaotic but it only added to his attractiveness.
He wearing black slacks and costly shoes, a white long sleeve and folded to his elbow, golden neck, and even on his bracelet, he didn't bode to wear the coat for our simple marriage with a pillar of expensive watches. His fragrant intoxicating aroma, I can also smell. We're just about the same color as our clothes.
Earlier I was restless, but when I look at him, my fears about his good looks diminish and I still couldn't really stop him from looking at his former postures.
Klark Linnaeus Villaverde. He's an erstwhile husband of my best friend. Shaina. She died because of leukemia but that was two years ago.
That I am now will be the wife of her husband.
Because of a promise that I cannot easily release.
A death wish.
It was against my will but I accepted it and didn't refuse my best friend request.
"Marga…" he whispered. It was as if I was returning to the reality of his whispering to me so that I could answer,
My lips trembled and looked away from him.
"Uh... e-excuse me," I bit my lower lip because of the tense feeling.
I saw the parting of the lips as my fiancé raised an eyebrow.
"I-I'm just going to the ladies' room for a while," even the judge raised an eyebrow, I could see Klark's forehead frown slightly due to my craziness.
It's just that, we're in the middle of that wedding, then my answer is I'm just going to comfort room?! For what? To pee, Marga? How stupid.
I just did not pay attention to the reaction of the viewers. Even though I hear my parents calling me, wondering where I am going? Sucks! All my parents knew was that my fiancé loved me.
I exited. As I hurried through the corridor to the farthest window, tears welled up in my eyes. I feel as if I'm not breathing properly. Despite the fact that I had never been here before, I was already nervous; my heart had been pounding with strength earlier.
Because of the gentle breeze blowing on my face as I paused for a moment, my tears easily welled up again. My runny hair up to my waist is windy, giving me a comforting feeling. I was stunned for a moment and accentuated by praying with a nervous feeling I couldn't control.
'Lord! What shall I do? Did I really make the right decision? We're only getting married because we both promised Shaina. Over the past year, Klark has been very dear to me. Yes, I love Klark. But what is the effect of all this if he doesn't feel anything for me? Why did he immediately agree to get married? Is it because he loves Shaina so much that he can't refuse to accept the request? How about me? How my feelings for him?'
I swallowed hard. I grabbed my white handkerchief from my pocket and wiped away my tears.
Like other girls like me, I also dreamed of getting married, not in the court but church. And not in this situation. And my dream is to have a child right from my womb. And there to the person I love and love me too.
My dream disappeared when Shaina pleaded with me when she was losing her life due to a serious illness. When I think I want to go back out, I always remember the last meeting and the two of us talk together. I can't reject her request because we are considered a real sister.
And it's hard to refuse a request from someone you know is going to die.
When Shaina was dating Klark, I confessed to secretly admiring him. That is something I would prefer to wish for myself... I hope that someday my love life will be like that as well. But the truth is... I was so taken with their low-key relationship and Klark's kindness to Shaina that I didn't realize I was feeling differently. That which I thought was right would turn out to be wrong.
I'm a little jealous. I didn't know I was in love with my friend's boyfriend, back then. Stupid, right?
I couldn't help but be an idiot, and my heart was racing like crazy every time I saw him. I knew he didn't like me, and the only reason we could marry was because of what we had promised Shaina. We both made promises to his ex-wife.
I also had over a year before I had to make a decision, and he patiently waited for me. During that year, I had trouble sleeping. Klark and I once had a disagreement. Because he didn't want to betray his promise to Shaina. As if he is, it appears to be a simple decision for him to agree to marry me.
But why is it so hard for me?
Yes, I loved him, ever since. And now it seems like I still love him secretly. But now that we're getting married, shouldn't I just be happy? That the person I love is marrying me? But why does something seem to be missing? Why ambiguous to feel? Why else would I ask myself If know the real answer?
He doesn't love me. He only does this because he promises.
My decision only changed when I remembered Shaina's plea before losing her life.
Before I could move for that decision to return there was a familiar baritone voice speaking behind me and it even cleared his throat.
"Don't tell me you won't marry me, my future wife?" a slight sarcastic irritation can be heard in the voice it suppresses.
Although I was nervous, I made a face before I faced him, I made sure that I recovered from the shock of my reaction when I turned my back.
"I thought, You're going to be a runaway bride in the middle of our wedding game," he smirked.
Damn him.