Chereads / Magia fidelis / Chapter 313 - 313 - Axis that conflicts a magical girl's heart

Chapter 313 - 313 - Axis that conflicts a magical girl's heart

*

After HuoLi had decided on the plan of action, everyone mobilised and played their role. Kaede, De Lan, Barius and Kaitmei were sent to head towards The Sanctuary of The Eye God.

The flesh wave flashes in and out of existence in the distance, creating an eery sight. The energy signal in the distance was enormous, it was easily deduced to be HuoLi's final skill since Titania's isolation didn't cost so much magical particles. Titania's doesn't have nay secondary effects other than isolation after all. Kaede held her words to her heart, gradually boosting the speed of the others to cut the travel time.

In an instant, they passed the border and the other humans, specifically the infrastructure of the Grundo Alliance. They were moving at full speed so after what seemed like forever to them, was only 10 seconds in actual time. They reached The Sanctuary in that time. After 4 more seconds they reach the Central region. Without rest, they promptly entered the shrine.

In the very centre and heart of The Sanctuary was a half pyramid with a gorgeous and monumental temple at the top of this half pyramid, which zigzagged into the air with inclines, flat surfaces and then more inclines. There was a much more accessibly staircase in the centre of this lateral surface allowing people to climb to the top. Following that was a decorative multicoloured torii that seemed to exude a brilliance like the aurora borealis.

Everything will get better, everything will get better... Kaede wonders what the hell she's doing so far away from the final battle, why she ran away and instead seemed like she was hiding here. With this overwhelming shame, could she really face The Eye God and ask for assistance? Perhaps she was planning to fight The Eye God into assisting humanity, but... If she could defeat her then there wouldn't be any point to asking for her help.

Then... What exactly was she doing here? Her footsteps echo loudly as her low heels clacked against the glassy texture of the quartz floors. The moment she stepped through the torii gates, the surroundings seemed to have entered a world of white. Whiteness and more whiteness, in this suffocatingly empty space, what was her purpose?

Her thoughts colour the space, her vision, her smell, her other senses were solely stimulated by her own thoughts. This was similar to that time with Jiyuu, Harold and the past incident with the rogue. At the same time it wasn't, there was no magic being involved except her own.

Her body was instinctively showing her her own memories. When she first woke up... When she first gained awareness.... It was right after the fight with the Progenitor... Oh right... She let Myuu and Paridia die... They couldn't do anything about it... That's right... For some reason her memories were now getting clearer. The point of intersection, the axis of conflict that exists in her memories... It was now getting exceedingly clear.

After that she met up with Barius and Neli, fought the Demon King clone and had an entire adventure to be the Human King. Huh? Perhaps she didn't do as much as she thought? Her memories are bloated with those that do not belong to her, her soul is not hers. It was hard to distinguish what she actually went through from what was embedded into her very soul. But at the same time, her view was getting clearer as she leisurely walked through the white hall.

The reception counter was completely empty, so they've headed towards the hall that directly lead to the throne. They passed through a few teleportation gates.

Then there was also that incident with Jiyuu and how she wandered in that little cabin of lingering memories. The blade was reclaimed and brought into custody.

The clacking of her heels are vivid, bringing her back into reality, as if she had come out of the water to catch a breath for a brief moment. Her vision flashes between the absolute sterilised white of the hall's walls and the golden dewy yellow light of that one sun set that dyed everything during the stake out against Jiyuu.

Their words were like melodious bells that repeated echo to her from her memories. "Kaori. Kaori! Kaori?" (?) They speak to her, convey their grievances, their feelings, their demands. A myriad of intentions flow like a storm into her mind as her memories zoom past temporally.

***

"... Hey Barius, why do you continue to put up with me. Do you not find any of these pathetic and meaningless?" (Kaede)

Her emotions from that distant memory are revived inside her once more, a dreadful and insidious flood of anxiety scraps away at her self esteem and weighs down on her heart like someone was choking her airpipe. Heavy... Her own emotions are so heavy... It's not because her memories were this heavy at that time... It's because she's feeling what the memory is feeling... It's 2 fold...

Her tear ducts were dry and about to open. Her eyelids twitch a little, about to contort into a crying face. Her cheeks were tensed, in a desperate last bid to lock her expression. Why is she reliving these emotions...? Why are they surfacing only now, when she steps into the Eye God's sacred workplace... Why can't she calm down her accelerating heart...

Why... Why... Why... In the midst of these inward wailings, her voice was a little scruffy but undeniably feminine and powerful. Maybe it was better to say it somewhere between a tomboy and the average voice range. Just slightly lower than average, but it still retained the charm of both aspects. Of course, it was the voice of the perfect magical girl, Barius. She would never mistake it for anyone else's.

"... Hmpf... I am perfect. None of my actions are ever flawed. Who are you to decide this journey you've dragged me on... Is meaningless or idiotic?" (Barius)

"I didnt even mention idiotic..." (Kaede)

"Ahem! In other words, I have found meaning. No, many others have... You, who are you really? Were you always this much of a worry wart?

I knew you were a crybaby, but this is a different thing..." (Barius)

Kaede knew it too from her inherited memories. She has all memories of when she was a magical girl. In the first place, this ego swap had no memory erasure or such effects. Rather it was memory editing, the chosen memories were sealed and others were made to be in third person as they were forged. It was just that these forged memories were most likely forged based on the actual memories that were naturally in first person. So the veracity should be fine.

Initially she had doubted everything too. But after talking to Grail, she regained her vigour and drive for the truth. Now that she stepped this far, why was she drowning in a couple of memories? Her steps continued, she never stopped moving nor did she stop thinking. The past memories, I see, she thought. Things were lining up, but she must complete her memories before reaching the finish line. That's right, things were finally beginning to peace themselves together. In fact, the entire thing may have become a little obvious, but she must finish what she started.

"In that matter... If I was not who you think I was, would you still follow me then?" (Kaede)

"... Hahah! What's that? If you were the exact same as before, then yeah. But... Kaori is one of a kind. Nothing can replicate her, so I'll keep following you!

Remember the meaning I talked about in following you? It was exactly because you are the only one who would do something everyone finds meaningless, that I think it's wonderful enough of a reason to help you.

You are the only one who can bring me closer on this path of becoming the perfect magical girl. Once I am all powerful, I will save everyone! Even you! " (Barius)

Did she know? Or did she not? It was so hard to tell if she was trying to comfort me or not. I couldn't understand it. I could never understand what she was seeing, but I have a job to do. Yes, the one and only job only I can do. Equipped with Kaori's body, soul and memories, there is only one thing I should do. To be Kaori, no..., to be a magical girl!

"Hmpf! Of course you'll keep following me! There is no other experience that could replace what I will put you through!" (Kaede)

Somehow her words came through. Fighting in a war between the demons and humanity was something that would only happen once in their lifetime. Unless it becomes common in the future.

She regained her baseless confidence and immediately showed off in front of Barius. Was this what Barius wanted? Well, it doesn't matter. She felt a little silly so she wanted to lighten the mood. Was this how Kaori was like? She didn't know. Even if she was equipped with Kaori's memories, she could use a method akin to extrapolation to predict what Kaori would do.

But as extrapolation goes, the accuracy decreases over time... The more she does this, the more she felt like she was losing her grasp over what Kaori was like. They began deviating when she gained self awareness. Just that small fact sparked just a large and long lasting change. All she can do is hope Barius doesn't notice, and... People can change over time right? Wouldn't it be natural that a person you haven't met in months changes a little?

She knew she couldn't keep banking on that fact. One day everything would come apart. So she must satisfy herself with the small moments and accomplishments.

"Hehee... Even though it was a delivery job, I had so much fun talking to so many people. People who aren't magical girls, they too have so many different types of people..." (Kaede)

The children that would wave to me on the way, the store owners who continue to barter while staring me down. The aunties that came to do their grocery shopping, the uncles who have come to do manual labour. Even rarer were the less labour intensive jobs, despite the circumstances, everyone was smiling vividly in the market street. It was like an invisible pressure that forced me to smile along, in fear of ruining the good mood if I showed them my gloomy expressions.

But that atmosphere was endearing in its own way. It was the product of everyone trying their best to make do with what they have, go continue life despite the heavy loss of technology after The Great Disaster. Now that a year had passed, quality of life developments such as a sewage systems, trash disposal systems and electricity were steadily recovering. Though for now, the only thing they could do with that electricity was to power a few lamps if they had the money to afford power lines.

Daily life, was it like this for those who weren't magical girls? Kaede couldn't imagine it. She didn't have memories from before The Great Disaster. It was like a gaping 17 year hole in her memories. But she remembers what happened after, even the stuff with Kaoru's childhood friends. They were quickly abandoned. Maybe if The Great Disaster wasn't here, Kaoru would have felt less insecure about keeping his friends. His secret identity as a magical girl was abandoned and he simply ran away to the labyrinth.

There were some actions that Kaori did, that Kaede had to disagree with. They were objectively wrong, at the same time the feelings Kaori felt at that time, Kaede wouldn't know what those were so it would be absurd for her to judge. Perhaps she would make the same decisions. Even the insecurity was a deduction.

"There is still a lot more we have to do. Let's go, Kaori." (Barius)

She flashed a smile that seemed to shine brighter than the setting sun. The reddish orange sky paled in comparison as it rapidly became darker and darker. Alright, Kaede was energised! Perhaps she could go on giving her best for another day.

***

Many more memories continued to plague her, but they ended once she stepped into the throne room. She almost instantly deduced the purpose of showing these memories, it was like the corridor was purifying her and removing her regrets. Maybe during the other times, since it was Kaori who was there and not Kaede, she had no regrets and didn't experience anything. The others kept quiet out of consideration if they had seen anything. Only De Lan was able to smoothly walk past without seeing anything, she frequently walked past this hall after all.

Finally, at the throne room... Unconceivable chaos broke out. Flesh spilled out of the supposedly holt chair and engulfed everything in sight with its hideous bridge hue.