*
My fingers look slightly larger than before, they also look somewhat fatter with a rougher surface. Perhaps I should start with small steps. Instead of trying to move my entire body, a finger should do for now. It turns out sleeping while untransformed doesn't immediately get me used to my old body. But what it did help with was getting used to my spine. It was like pushing a brick wall in my dreams, it was only after many hours that the wall fell over like unsecured blocks.
But now, I should try to stretch my fingers. Hnnnnnnggghhh!!! Moving them is completely fine, but there is this uncanny feeling to it that cannot be described. It's as if I was moving a meat puppet, a body that is not mine. This disassociation was beginning to get into my mind, the more I thought about it the more my soul cries at the absurdity. If I move it enough, perhaps I could slowly get used to it. Improvement by repetition.
After roughly an hour, I still haven't finished getting used to my fingers. There was still a slight sense of discomfort, but there was no longer any problem with movement. Let's focus on my other limbs first, instead of grip strength. Maybe it was something to phantom pain, it was similarly undescribable. From the side of my conscious feeling, I attempt to move my arm, my arm does move but it doesn't feel anything. I begin to recover my sense of touch starting from the bones instead, or innermost muscles. It feels like my arm is a tiny stick wrapped around by heavy meat, I swing around this arm with such grotesque feelings plaguing my conscious. The more I move it and ignore how disgusting it felt, the more feeling and touch I recover from my somewhat lifeless arm.
It took many more hours before I was done, I can achieve minimal movement and bend my body somewhat. What was left was to regain a sense of balance when walking and to train my muscle strength. For now, I'll transform back into a magical girl, so I could at least walk. My progress shouldn't disappear if I untransformed regularly. I don't wish to let Myuu walk alone outside, it was an odd sense of protectiveness for that bubbly girl, but one I've come to accept as natural. Oh! Maybe if I release the transformation while standing I can-
"Aaagh!"
I fell..... Well, at least I don't have to worry about going to the restroom... Unlike last time, I wasn't turning into a completely different sex. So I at least remember that much about my own body. Maybe the problem was more about how I was going to reach the bathroom.... That's it! I should keep training my leg strength and try to stand today! I could use the bed as support...
*Clickclick swing*
"I'm back~" (Myuu)
A familiar voice rings out like an elegant bell, her lively eyes and eyebrows peeking through the small gap in the door before walking in...
On the other hand, my right arm was on my back while my left is pressing the bed. My legs stood pointing at each other so my posture was akin to an ugly flamingo. I was only practicing to walk... I could finally stand, thought my shoulders don't have enough strength to balance with my waist.
Without much choice, Myuu helped me to sit back up on the bed while holding a few skewers of meat in her left hand. While technology had not recovered enough to make paper and plastic disposable, it had at least recovered in the food and beverage sector and agriculture. Farms and livestock were recovering at the fastest rate back to modern standards, with sanitation following closely behind. These had to be the first steps humans must recover in, as they are the most basic psychological need of modern urban humans. Without it, most people would lose their will to live. Like how I lost mine when I realised all my electronic devices such as my Weibing phone and Susa Pc was gone.
Entertainment was the next step, but for that we needed to progress in the electric grid and sanitation systems first. With help of modern knowledge, the innermost part of central is basically a tiny city already. A 100km by 100km area of paradise was what I heart. In any case, my eyes glowed a fierce white glint and dilated at the sight of the meat skewers. Perhaps it was all the energy I was expending in the early morning, trying to train up my old muscles without looking weird. I wasn't particularly successful, but I was extremely grateful for Myuu's help.
"Ahm mhmm mmm... These are delicious!"
"Glad you like it!" (Myuu)
"Now I'll go back to trying to walk. You can go on ahead and continue exploring if you want, then you can take me on a tour later!"
"Hahah, I'm glad you've gotten your energy back, but I'm done for today. I'm fine with just watching, or helping if you need." (Myuu)
A soft chuckle escapes her lips as she holds a palm above her chin, covering her mouth, closing her eyes for a moment.
"Uhm.... It's kind of embarrassing... But, I suppose your supervision would be reassuring..."
I could feel my cheeks steadily rising in temperature, my eyes swim around like fish by reflex from the nervousness. With her watching now, I had a strange urge to try my best and not disappoint her. Her gaze laid on my like a hawk, yet it felt gentle and innocent, it bared much more pressure than anything else I've felt.
"Fuuh~!"
I exhaled a large breath. It was mere nervousness. It was not a semi-tangible pressure like an opponent pressing their magical aura on you via killing intent. Meaning that there was nothing forcing me to be immobile except for the manifestation of my own insecurities. It was a familiar anxiety, something I've dealt with a lot when I was still in school. As such, it was also easy to get rid of. That breath I exhaled cleared it like a vacuum cleaner sucking out all the impurities in my heart.
My vision shook for a small moment, but my eyes focus on one spot. My arms. Right now I was training to stand with help from a hand holding tool. Meaning I would be able to used crutches or a wheel chair if I was successful here. I focus my strength into the region below my knees, but not forgetting to also put some into my thighs. We all take this inborne ability for granted, thinking we would be able to walk for all of eternity. This careful balance of muscles and coordination granted by nature is a gift, and it is something I must remaster.
I figured out the reason why I've lost such a basic ability that I was born with. It was not so much the difference in body type but there was one more factor. If it had only been due to a different body type, I would simply lose my sense of balance without losing strength in all my muscles. My muscles were drained in a way, maybe atrophied is more accurate. It was because when I was a magical girl, I had stopped relying on my physical body to move but instead forced it to move with magical particles.
As the ideal combat body, the magical girl body simply threw away the physical way of human motility. It found it unnecessary and relied mainly on moving the body with magical particles, so no lactic acid or fatigue is produced mid-battle, so there was less pain as the pain receptors were dulled to a large extent and so that the energy to movement conversion was more effective than the normal chemical conversion of ATP.
As a side effect, my untransformed state that still relied on ATP was massively atrophied in muscle mass. It lost its strength and muscle mass, but was left with enough to barely survive. Myuu had a great idea of buying some food, or even meat in this case. Fats was a massive source of this normal energy, also it just tasted really good. After the day was over, we went back to sleep. Not forgetting to take a shower before hand at the public shower cubicles, I slept as clean as a baby.
I had to transform and walk outside the Inn to reach there, but there was way less difficulty moving transformed than untransformed. The Owner may have misunderstood seeing my sweaty appearance and walking with Myuu to the public bath. But I couldn't be bothered with that, so I brisk walked to reach there faster. Myuu waved to the Owner and his family before leaving.
Back in the labyrinth, there were designated restrooms for both sexes. But right now I couldn't release the transformation or I wouldn't be able to walk, so I needed Myuu to sneak me into the female side of the public baths. Thankfully there were some cubicles there so I could make a quick go in and out of it. It still felt uncomfortable to go into this side as it felt like I was deceiving everyone else a little, the only one who knew was Myuu. So to reduce exposure as much as possible, I stared at the back of her head as she lead me to where I needed to go. In another way, it was quite exhausting to be there.
After a week, I was finally able to walk properly. My grip strength seemed to only be barely enough to carry paper, so that still needed to be worked on. I still transform when I'm outside our room as it would be weird for a male guest to suddenly appear in the inn. I also started to take some walks with Myuu while untransformed and outside. My stamina was ridiculously low, so I was slowly improving.
"Ah..... N..... A...." (?)
It was an odd noise to hear from an alleyway, while we were walking back to the Inn in the evening. We stopped walking right outside, hidden by the corner of the building adjacent to the alleyway. What seemed like a grunt escaped as more hush dialogue continued from the alleyway's darkness. They were hiding under the veil of the night, with a plethora of different sounds escaping.
"Hey... 's.... Loosening... You got tho-..."(?)
"Ye.... Might as well..... Jam more than one...." (?)
The sound of a liquid dripping to the ground as some plastic and metallic objects made soft clangs against the floor texture. Even without all of these, the smell alone was sickening.
" Man I can't believe she's a magical girl too." (?)
"Kaori! No!" (Myuu)
Surprisingly, these individuals moved extremely slow. But that was none of my concern. In my rage, my vision had glossed over into a simple interpretation of reality. What needs to be killed and what doesn't. The mess and sight was so disgusting, I swung my fist at the 2 men that have their pants dropped on the ground. The moment my knuckles made contact, they both expanded and exploded into crimson mist. A stench much more familiar and similar to what I was used to had filled the alleyway.
The girl on the other hand was sitting down on the ground, her state was humiliating and pathetic, yet she still called herself a magical girl. Maybe if I ended it now for her, it would be better for everyone. But before I could make another step towards her, Myuu stepped inbetween us.
"Kaori.... Don't do something you will regret just because of your pride as a magical girl... You will begin to throw away that pride and then your own meaning... You will throw away something I fought so hard to protect. So now, if you want to hit someone, hit me instead. You can take your anger out on me but I won't let you kill anymore than this. "(Myuu)
My eye lids widened under the shock. I stare blankly but my mind races to reach a conclusion or arguement. My own meaning. A sliver of pride. I'm happy they still exist within me, but I'm also sad that I had to find out this way. And hitting Myuu? Maybe if it was a year ago, when I was much more cynical and cold. Maybe then I would have done it without hesitation. But now?.... But God damn now....
"That's unfair... I hate this... This sight is awful and this alleyway should be burned to a crisp..."
"... Kaori... Grow up." (Myuu)