*
"... I... You've surely realised this by now... I am lost. There is nothing left worth living for after The Great Disaster. I have... Nothing left, and I've been dealing with this lost far longer than you have. Everyday I feel more and more worthless, more and more useless. I get more power by training hard only to see what I still can't do. "
"... Kaori... Whining won't bring anyone back from the dead... "(Myuu)
" You think... I don't know that? You think I didn't know your mother wanted to die? "
*Slam! * " KAORI!!!! " (Myuu)
It was suppose to be a slap, but Myuu had put all her strength into it, as if she was relieving her own frustrations. We could have ignored it. We could have ignored everything and went with our day, continued to live a modest life until the day we die without talking about any of this at all. In truth, so much has been taken that it's unbelievable that we've been able to last this long. Especially one year ago. When a youth like me or Myuu suddenly gets so much power into our hands, the first thing we think about doing with it is-
"Killing yourself. Are you thinking about something shameful like that?" (Myuu)
I have no more words. I have been clinging on and on, training harder than anything else. I've been hanging on desperately more than anyone else to find something to work towards. To find my life's purpose, to find something worth protecting and living for. But the more I see this world, the more worthless I think it is. I knew such things like homelessness, debt and prostitution existed the whole time. The world had been turned upside down by that disaster, why wouldn't it run rampant on lawless land?
I suppose what finally made me snap was finding out that that girl was a magical girl. It was like a spit to the face, especially to myself, one who treasures the pride of magical girls. Pride in all magical girls, pride as a magical girl and finally, pride in myself as a magical girl. To see it thrown away so worthlessly meant that the very last thing on earth that held value... Had also become worthless. This was an inevitability, The Great Disaster simply accelerated it. It showed how fragile and worthless everyday life was, how materialism could be taken away with a snap and how lives were equally worthless.
The last place I seeked such a value was from something outside everyday life. Of course, it was magical girls. More than anything else, I had treasured such beings and put them on a pedestal. It was why I could endure such harsh training, and such ruthless enemies. They were all cute magical girls, they all had their own kind of special pride and goals. They fought for what they believe in, and that lead me to 'fight' for what I believed in as well. I knew dirtyness existed in this world since the start. I suppose this was the final time I turned my back on it. I will accept it. The darkness of this world and the inevitable void.
Using my skills, I form a vacuum sword by shifting all existing matter to the outside of a sword shape.
My first skill [Hollow calamity] worked by giving and manipulating the pressure gradient or concentration gradient of any matter. It worked on a much larger scale than my second skill [The gap of impermanence is a cage] which moved matter on a particle level and was more suited to finer task. It made a sturdier barrier by being able to arrange with far more precision and strength. The first skill was like a large brush or an entire bucket of paint, while the second skill was more akin to a fine brush that drew narrow lines.
I swing the sword, ready to take my neck off... But it met resistance. Myuu was there, her arm trembling heavily and holding its own against my blade. Her palm and fingers were clutching as hard as they could, blood was spraying into the air around from the pressure of the clash. A green aura wraps warmly around both our arms, healing both of us at the same time.
"... Didn't... You... Say... That I could be... Your reason... To live?... What now...? Have you deemed me worthless as well? Even though I've tried so hard to help you see the light in life... Even though I tried to do the same you did to me... Why have you given up?... I'll fixed it, so please stop suffering by yourself. Let me help you... " (Myuu)
I release the vacuum blade, causing it to dissipate back into magical girls. I'm exhausted, I'm tired of everything. I can't take it anymore. Before I fall to the ground, Myuu grabs me by the head for a chest hug. Maybe I would have cared way before, back when everything was normal, I would have probably been overjoyed from her pressing her chest to my head like this. But now, I'm tired. This is not for me. Life is not for me.
"Kaori... Remember when you asked me if I had a dream? You may think of it as nothing, but even such a small thing could be so important. I was just as lost as you then. But just to paint a happy facade to trick you into thinking I was okay, I slowly made it real over time. I made more friends after you talked to me, I told my mum that I was fine and doing well due to having such a good friend. I was so happy with that tiny semblance of a normal life, I know even that cannot satisfy you or that nothing will again, but I ask you to please look towards the light. " (Myuu)
Her face paints the perfect picture of melancholy. It portrays the drowning sadness of her unsuccessful efforts and the subtle hope she holds dearly in her heart as a small torch. She illuminates her own darkness with such a fickle light that one would think she would collapse at any time. In such a situation, it was obvious to see what drives her. Only more sadness paints my heart once more.
I don't have the strength or will to continue anymore. Maybe I should have died back then when that S-grade magical girl attacked.
".... How pathetic. What happened to you?..." (Barius)
An odd voice resounds from the back of my mind. Or more accurately from the main street.
"How depraved must you be to cling onto a girl's chest like that, while she is crying?" (Barius)
I turn around to see. No one was there. The presence that that voice had was also gone, almost like a phantom. I look back at Myuu before returning her hug. I hug her as tightly as possible, I don't think I'd ever want to let go anymore. They were right, I was being pathetic. Even if I've hit my limit, even if my mind and body can't move anymore, I still need to try. I shouldn't decide on my own that everything was worthless. I shouldn't despair just because I hit a limit in my training.
Title: Kaorin
Magical girl effectiveness level: B
Perimeters:
- Physical: A
- endurance: B
- speed: A
- will: B
- well: B
"... Myuu. Sorry for asking this, but let's fight."
"Hah!?" (Myuu)
***(The Next day)
"I want you to fight with everything you have, and then tell me if I could still improve."
Without letting in another word, I bent my knees and took off. Leaving a visible crater behind, I swung my fist powered by my skills. We had slept in for the night yesterday and gone straight to the outside of the city the next morning. Our bodies felt refreshed from the mental taxation of yesterday. Myuu on the other hand, stared calmly at my approach as if my maximum speed was insignificant for her.
She twists her waist heavily to avoid my punch that went through air instead, then she uses that new position to launch a powerful palm strike. With the slight momentum and all her strength, I couldn't hold my ground and was sent flying into a tree instead.
"KAHAGHHH!! "
As if the all the air was knock out of my lungs, a sharp painful breath rushed into my throat, hurting my entire torso as I recover. It felt like a knife was driven through my ribcage and left there for a short moment. I can't underestimate Myuu at all, she has grown stronger again. At first it was only her stats that consistently kept up to mine, but even now as we stagnated in roughly the same areas, she was still having the upper hand in this battle.
"[Extreme governing], I've unlocked my second skill. I won't hold back even with this new power." (Myuu)
Skill. Maybe I do have a future to look forward to. I havent unlocked my final skill nor have I mastered my current skills. I would say my master of them is 90% and 60% respectively for each of my skills. It was a mere guess, an irrational instinct that told me that there was still so much more I could do with my skills, so many more uses that could make it truly versatile. So much more I need to see in the world, and in magical girls.
This was it. Magical girls are usually unique in their skills. At least it was suppose to be rare to have the same skill.
"Yes, I am indeed powerful. I am indeed stronger than you at this very moment. But unlike myself, you still have a lot of your potential to explore. You gave up looking for new ways to use your skills, you fixated on the combative aspect of it and stopped looking everywhere else.
It's time you stop closing your eyes and ears whenever you see something that remotely threatens you. It's time you stop running into the recesses of your own pathetic mind. You either get stronger or die now. I'll stop holding back. I'm not giving you a choice. I'll show you that you have room to grow by forcing you to do it now. " (Myuu)
It was not only her appearance, but her words seem to resonate as well. Her body glowed a fierce green that was reminiscent of her first skill, whenever she used it a transparent lime green aura would engulf her surroundings. But now it was slowly shifting towards a darker forest green, her aura boiled and flailed fiercely, as if it was also telling me to prepare myself. This, this feeling... Maybe this was what I seeked. I can't help but laugh at myself now. Was I just a battle junky all along? I don't want that to be true, I rather have something noble like a normal magical girl. I want to be the ideal magical girl. Yes, it feels as if that fire inside myself was relit. It's small and weak, but it's warmth ahs begun permeating my body. But my blood is boiling and flowing even more vigorously than anything else, it years to be released but also to be used, it wants to flow faster and faster than anything else.
Use a mixture of both skills to manipulate the air around me, and then my muscles. Use precise and meticulous manipulation of magical particles and every other matter that exists in my vicinity. Before anything else, my body had moved on its own into a stance suited to bare-handed fighting. My legs stand shoulder width apart, my right arm and right leg in front, while my left leg and left hand at my side while slightly behind.
My soul is burning, and is telling my mind to burn. The cold sweat drips down the right side of my temple before vaporising. Before I was aware, I had donned a smile. A shit eating grin of a brat that realised they did something wrong. I rush in once more with a powerful leap, a larger 50 meter radius crater was left behind. This time I could carefully follow her movements as she dodged. Applying magic into a region of air around me, I rotated my entire body mid-air to slam my leg into Myuu's new position. She tried to dodge to my right again, but that was where I attacked this time.
The audible sound of bones creaking rang out as she was sent flying and rolling on the ground before standing back up.
"Ugh... You finally smiled. You finally smiled from the bottom of your heart, and it was from beating me into the ground... I knew it.... You were a domestic abuser...." (Myuu)
"... Hey! We aren't even married yet!"
" Yet? " (Myuu)
A bright dazzling smile escapes her lips, her eyebrows shifted into a smug look. It was as if she was both overjoyed and mocking me at the same time. Damn it, it was a bait. Of course I've seen you in such a way before, but why would I ever say it out loud or act on it?