"Night life" by Cale Robinson
"The sun is no longer, but my bare feet,
still feel remains of its great heat.
It is comforting to collect the warmth,
even if only fragments of its shine.
A cold breeze shakes my thoughts violently.
That known chill that invades from inside
and takes control vibrating your spine
suppresses any kindness left by the day behind.
So I spread my wings in a conquering rhyme,
I own this sight of the world from high,
of the infinite colors of the consuming dark.
'cause I owe the longevity of this soulless life,
the careless wind on my pale face as I nosedive
to the permanent frost and aversion to light."
You know how you expect anything, because you are already used to the fact that it is never quite as you thought?
How the physics and science depends on the school year and scale you are at, because years ahead (as you follow your studies and your thoughts are rescaled) you will learn that it is not quite like that. It all is a small part of something more, more coherent and general that explains so much more? How mathematical things you studied are an infinitesimal part of a bigger structure of organization and calculus, that you might get to know if you follow up the study?
Well, turns out that so is everything in life. When you think you know someone the environment changes so this person shows a whole other facet you didn't anticipate. Or how your father that you knew for so long and who you got to see everyday shows you not only that he is a werewolf, but also that you know so little of your own self that you haven't realized yet but that you are one too.
Well, maybe most people can't really identify with this, but it gets worst nevertheless.... oh so much worst! Whenever you think you've got it all figured out, now that there is only a small equation you can not fully explain, a new field of physics is born with a new way of thinking about things and a different notion of reality. Life is dynamic so you adapt and when you feel that you have adapted far beyond your human abilities and most ambitious expectations, you encounter a wider variety of possibilities overwhelming you even further and showing you how much more you can give. Or that your abilities are not human. LOL.
It was Monday of the second week. I hadn't slept much, as usual by now, which wouldn't help maintaining my nerves under control. Still I was quite sure I would desperately have to control them as never before. The first class would be gymnastics and I knew there was much to expect from such an innocently called class. I had no idea of what we would be made do. I didn't know how I could do whatever would be asked of me, but I was sure I couldn't and I would probably start shape-shifting at the first sound that echoed in the gymnasium.
I went a little earlier and called the ``American Akita'' on the mobile phone.
-``Hi. Are you here yet? Where is the gym? Should we go directly there?''
-``No of course not! Haven't you read anything on the College program? We are freshmen, woman in your case...'' - mellowed in this last part, but he got back to his usual warm voice - ``Today, as the first day of gymnastics we will receive a briefing in the main auditorium, with all our freshmen mattes and only in two days do we get to start gymnastics.''
-``Oh. Where is the main auditorium? Is that the big room that occupies what are above and bellow two class rooms in the even wing? Are you here? Do you want to find it with me?''
-``It's still quarter to, I will be there in twenty. I fell asleep and I have to take one train and a bus to get there everyday, did you know that?''
-``Oh, OK. But that means you will be late.''
-``They won't say much I don't already know. You know there are books about us shape-shifters, right? You realize there are many other means of getting information? Also I know exactly who I am and what I am capable of.''
-``What? What is that supposed to mean?''
-``Got to go now, I am changing at this station, see you.''
-``Dam!''
-``What?'' - I was still putting my mobile phone back in my blazer pocket when I heard the ``What?''.
Usually if you know no one, you don't look for people talking to you, but I wouldn't think that fast this early in the evening. The ``vision'' was looking at me, coming from significant distance behind and walking in my direction. I looked forward to check if the ``Irish setter'' was there, but she wasn't. No one was.
-``Hi.'' - he said, still looking in my direction.
-``Hi.''
-``What is it? Why are you cursing so early in the evening?''
-``Sorry, didn't know anyone was around. I was just thinking that I have no idea of where the main auditorium is.''
-``Me neither, does it make me much of a geek to have come so early just so I could find it?'' - He answered with a model smile, that melted the heart and fed the soul - `` I just think this will be the first and probably last good talk I will ever hear.'' - He could have been siting punk rock lyrics that I would still meltingly nod.
-``Why? What do you mean?'' - I said slowly, is it possible I was acting as pathetical as I was feeling inside?
-``You haven't read the printouts? Now I feel like a nerd!''
-``Hey, what's that supposed to mean?'' ... I thought, but what really came out was... ``No! I didn't want to spend my few months left of a normal life reading about this. I am quite grateful not to have been caught doing something illegal yet. Seems like we are privileged with fees and laws, probably even get closed-door court rooms.'' - Words started unraveling them selves, great, how interesting you are making yourself.
-``Normal life? Don't tell me about normal life! It's like being superman. You have this awesome power, but you can NOT tell anyone. At least I got to be in the football team and kick ass in high school.''
-``Not really what I was going for, but... OK, that too!''
-``OK, so would you like me to ask the lady in the hall, she is always so nice to me.''
-``Why not?'' - Who wouldn't be, really?
We entered the main building and the entrance was as empty and majestic as when I first walked in. The chandeliers were already on, though the light from the outside still entered freely from the huge opened door. - ``I guess I will never get used to how big this hall is.''
-``Ya. It doesn't seem this big when it is crowded at lunch time.''
-``Sounds like a natural phenomena.''
-``What?''
-``Nothing. I was just saying that there is really a lot of people coming every day.''
-``Ya, and most just stay. The dormitories are huge! I know cause there was a party there last Tuesday in one of the flippers girls room.'' - He moved his eyebrows in a funny way as though I would be interested in a girls' dormitory room party. And flippers? Who uses that name for a sisterhood?
-``Ya, good morning miss. I would like to ask you something if you wouldn't mind.'' - He was already at the office window, with his face centimeters from the window glass and a huge smile. His hands stroke his hair gently and his smile radiated one hundred and eighty degrees, like a kid waiting for candy. He gave me a meaningful look as if he was showing me how to do it.
As a consequence I had to fight my knees from trembling and my legs from caving down. The lady looked from her higher ground behind the great looking man to see what he was staring at and that broke the magic. He looked back at her, still smiling and I could feel his smile wearing off on me. I don't know if it is the fact that he controls his smile so well or that I have heard him speaking, but I knew there was no future there. I new he was harmless to my heart and just great décor. It is quite peaceful when you find you wouldn't like someone, because you could really get close and become friends. Which would be much more complicated if you were waiting for special signals and romance from him.
...
-``Are you mad? If the guy is gorgeous and you yourself said that.. why not?'' - I could hear Sonya in my mind. That is what happens when you spend too much time talking to someone, you can argue with them in long distance one way conversations. ``Because that is not what I want! I want more! So much more... I want the tangling feeling in my knees, sure... the butterflies in my stomach... but also, the ability to still keep a good conversation with the man I would love. I need to feel awe for the person that kidnaps my heart.'' - I answered in my mind.
-`` You are so stubborn. You will end up alone! And you know what? You can't ever find mister right if they lose their opportunities at first contact.''
-``I don't really think they mind. He is just not for me.'' And that ended the oldest and most repeated discussion I have had with Sonya. Although I couldn't honestly say that my heart was safe around someone this beautiful.
...
-``So it is the last room on the right wing, ground floor. I will meet you there, I think I will try to find miss difficult before...'' - His voice was distracted and he was now looking at the door, as if that would bring someone in.
-``K'' - So miss ``setter'' is giving you a run for your money? Good for her! Girls shouldn't play easy. Although in his case, I might agree she could be a little bit easier... just graspable and available to hear the mundane words us common mortals release.
I entered through the big black wooden door of the hall, in the right, and went through the long white corridor. It's been a week and I was still amazed at how much the black wood of the doors arranged along the corridor contrasted deeply with the brightly light white high walls, it balances the warmth of casual invitation with the seriousness of its weight. If this was Hogwarts I would believe that the size inside the compound was increased by magic, being this a real case I just attribute the never ending size of the corridor and rooms to the visual effect: The robust walls had on the outside together with the height of the inner walls and the symmetry of the hall disguised the true size of this space.
The long corridor ended with a black wooden door, as big as the one I got in from and also automatic. After its slow opening I could see this incredible auditorium. The room extended to both my right and left, the size was so immense that the light was given by three chandeliers equal to those in the main hall. There was a big black wooden high platform, a stage down on the left. It had a big desk with four chairs turned towards the room and a big white screen in the back. Chairs were arranged in rows leveled in different heights, higher all the way to the back of the auditorium, to my right. These half back chairs were turned towards the stage, leaving a perpendicular space opened close to the wall where I stood. Here the height was divided in black wooden steps. On the other side wall, in front of me, the outside was framed in thick black wood along the whole class and covered in a strange multicolor tone glass as the inside of sky glasses. I guess since it is a "Noctis" (nocturnal) college they don't need to worry about sun light reflecting on the board. The outside light was enough to show the forest that stood outside and the glass shades gave it this mystical and magical color nuances, like a fairy tale land.
I found a chair appealing in the back and reconsidered. If those eyes were going to be in the back, maybe I should just let them be in the confusion of what was behind me, so for the first time in a very long while I went to the front. Not the first row, cause that would be too painful, but the fifth was bad enough and was somewhat central, so the acoustic shouldn't be that bad.
-``Chose a seat already? Because if you are going to take much longer I already know where I am siting'' - A weary reproving sound came from the entrance just behind me.
-``Sorry I didn't know anyone was waiting.'' - I turned and found miss ``setter'' in her high heels scanning my simple image bottom-top.
-``Of course you didn't, it's not very bright to be loud. '' - Her eyes wouldn't even find mine, when she raised her brow and moved her chin forward, as a command remembering me that I was in her divine way.
-``Ya.'' - She could be heaven and above, but she still made me sick when she was this nice.
I went to the seat I chose and opened my notebook as an alibi to avoid further contact with that warm being. I could hear the door opening not very long after and the ``vision'' 's voice echoed charmingly through the wide room. Then other sounds joined in and the room filled faster as the introductory seminar got closer.
The background sound decreased and a short wide white haired figure flowed down the steps. The long curly white hair fell down her light old pink robe. She turned around on the stage to face the audience and her features light up in a welcoming smile. She could be red hood's grand mother.
-``Good morning and let me welcome the today's students, for they will rule this earth and here in "Tacyturnos Noctis College" from the night's shadow we forge tomorrow's dawn. Welcome to college. '' - She paused to let the words sink in the agitated crowd. I don't care how young and irresponsible you are, when you are given this importance you stop and listen and everyone did.
-``I am sorry that you weren't welcomed before, but we believe in introducing the students to their colleges and teachers before their "families" are revealed. Rivalry can be healthy if you get to know the other side and demystify it.''
-``What the hell does she mean by families?''
-``What do you mean? You really haven't read anything have you?'' - ``Akita'''s voice answered me over my right shoulder.
-``Hi. When did you get here?''
-``Schuch! You should really listen if you haven't read anything. She is supposed to introduce everything'' - He schuched me with anticipation, not for the words of the lady, rather for my predicted reaction.
A dim light in the front caught my attention and I straitened up on my seat just on time. The granny who was looking at the white board, turned briefly to check on the noise.
-``By now, you all know the symbol of this fine institution.'' - She continued. A slide was projected on the board. It was the University symbol, the one in all the fliers of another rococo era. When she touched the remote control button the image blackened, leaving just the contour and a grey area inside. This was the stylized logo that was on the gate golden plate.
As she clicked again the two twisted circling lines that framed the symbol were colored and immense bridges between them were painted so they looked like DNA. Another click and the first hook of the picture zoomed in and the border lines changed so it resemble a monkey hand. Then it returned to its place on the top center left, replacing the original hook. The top center right curl zoomed in changing into what looked like a short fur strangely curled cat tail and returned back to its respective place in the symbol.
I couldn't understand what the point was to be changing the university symbol, inserting random animal parts, even if we were the living proof of inter species coexistence and balance. If you could call our condition balanced. The top right triangle was attached to a bigger one when it zoomed in and it turned into a bent dog ear. Now that was a nice way to introduce us. The lower holly leaf, however, when zoomed in looked like a bat wing, and then the trefoil turned into a fish tail.
-``That being said I will summarize the four main therianthropy families here presented.''
-``What?'' - escaped my lips fortunately not too loud.