"Jake," I tapped his small shoulder to wake him up. When he didn't respond, I pinched him harder.
He couldn't be dead.
When he moved under my hand, I let out a sigh of relief. He massaged the back of his head as he spoke. "What happened? "
He must have felt the wetness of his head so he stared at his hand when I spoke. "Mike hit you. That bastard pushed you and I- I- thought I lost you." I sobbed.
His brows furrowed in confusion while he continued staring at his hand.
"We have to get you cleaned up. Let's go to the hospital," I commented trying to pull him up.
Jake was very quiet compared to other days which worried me even more.
In their room, mom's loud screams competed with Mike's. "How dare you hit my kids. They have no fault in this."
"Jessica was being a bitch like usual and Jake was defending that little piece of shit. No-one goes against what I say."
There was a brief silence before mom continued. "I know what you did to Jessica and I can see why she hates you."
Like a bucket of cold water poured over me, I shivered. It was a secret I once told mom years ago when Jake was a baby. He'd come to my room at night and force me to do disgusting things to him.
But Jake didn't know about this and it wasn't the right time for him to do so. I glanced at him expecting a reaction but he was lost in his own world as he stared at his hand.
He was having an episode.
Seeing him like this made my heart heavy. What could an eleven year old boy do to defend himself? Although he was tall and heavy, already building the body of a handsome man, he was nothing compared to Mike.
I tried to hold back the pain as we moved around the kitchen and to the living room. The door to the outside world was right there and seeing it made me feel less nauseous. If only mom held him a little longer for us to leave before he had time to see us.
The fact that we lived here as prisoners built another wave of hatred towards him.
I couldn't take it anymore. I wouldn't. If mom wanted to stay, it was her business but Jake was just a boy and he didn't deserve any of this. He deserved a better life.
"Where are you two going?" Mike's voice came from the room.
I froze in spot and although fear started rising in me, I couldn't let Jake die in my hands. "He needs to see a doctor," I spoke, unable to look at him for fear of losing my composure.
"The fuck you are leaving! No one leaves the house."
Jake was quiet against my body and I could see the pain in his eyes, nevertheless, he didn't say anything. Just looking at him made ny heart tremble.
I looked back at the monster who had a mischievous grin on his face.
Not long after, mom stood behind him with a bleeding lip and a swollen eye. She was as beaten as I, or probably worse.
"Mike, please," I pleaded.
Thoughtful, he took a long swig of his beer. "You must have learnt something at school, Jess. Nursing must have showed you a trick or two."
I froze. "You wouldn't."
I was not prepared. I didn't learn enough to help Jake and I hated Mike for not letting me finish.
"I have a first aid kit under the bed incase you want it," he shrugged.
I gazed at the door, at him then at mom. What if I hurt him? I couldn't. He needed a real doctor not a mediocre student who didn't finish nursing school.
"It's your take. You do it or he dies. I can see all the blood and the way his eyes want to roll up. "
Mom's trembling body didn't stop her from kneeling to him. "Please Mike. He is your son, your blood. You wouldn't let him died, would you?"
He was taken aback as much as I was at the scene. I saw the monster fire up in him when he broke a grin. "Oh no, sweetie. I am not doing anything. It's up to Jess."
Jake's entire weigh fell on me but when I tried to catch him, he slipped. Instinctively, I let out a scream which was followed by mom's.
"Alright! Alright! I'll do. Just help me get him to my room."
Our eyes locked and when he didn't move, I pleaded in desperation. "Please!"
A smile broke on his lips again. He enjoyed this. The surrendering, the pain and the power over us. He pushed mom from his way and took Jake to my room.
When he disappeared to get the kit, Amanda stood beside me. She was trembling as I checked his pulse.
"I am sorry, Jess."
Her voice made me furious. No, she didn't deserve us. She chose this. She loved it. She had many opportunities to leave with us but she chose to stay. But us, we had no choice in this. Mike made sure I didn't finish school and that I never worked.
When I didn't respond, she took one of my hands. "Jess, I mean it."
"I know," I lied retrieving my hand. My arm was hurting, but I didn't wince anymore. Right now getting Jake better was my only priority.
"It's not true."
"Just leave. I need to fix him up." I muttered when Mike came back with the box. He had another beer in his other hand and his breath stunk worse.
"You heard her babe. Let's get out. She needs privacy," he smiled and embraced her before she could protest and left.
I opened the box in a hurry. His pulse was weak, he was losing blood. The pillow was already stained with it and the iron smell was too much for me to handle.
But it was Jake and there was no time to lose. I studied the equipment, sterilized what I was going to use-- cleaned, shaved then cleaned again his head and started working.
I had never prayed longer than a minute except for this time. God was the only one I could think of and for the first time I didn't feel alone. I kept talking to Jake to stay with me, but in my heart I was pleading God for help.
My hands trembled at first but as I worked through it, I became more sure of what I was doing.
Anything for Jake.
"I promise that I will get us out Jake. I don't care what it takes but I will not leave you. Mike won't be able to find us. I feel sorry for mom but I know she won't want to come. But it's you that matters the most. I promise I will give you a better life where you can go to a good school and have real friends. You will fall in and out of love and that will be the only pain you will feel. That's what I want for you even if it takes me forever. "
*****
Mike was not home. He was probably out there doing his dirty work as usual. He'd steal cars and remodel them to sell afterward. Or maybe he was gambling and drinking with his so called friends.
It was perfect. When he drinks out of home and comes back, he'd fall asleep immediately. Then, he wouldn't hear me leave tonight.
My arm was hurting and I could see the purple and swollen mark from the kick he gave me last week.
"Jess, take me with you," Jake cried. I could see the pain in his eyes and the fear of me leaving and never coming back.
I took his hand and kissed it gently. " I need to find a place first. I need to make sure that wherever I take you is safe. Wait for me a week the max. I will come back, no matter what."
"I am scared," he sobbed.
"I know. I know." I cried. "I am scared as well. I cannot let you sleep out on the streets at night. Your wound is still bad."
"What if he takes it out on us?"
"He won't."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because he hates me. He does things to you so I can suffer but if I am not here to see, I bet he will come after me."
"Jess," he sobbed again and threw his arms around me. We were nearly the same height.
"Be strong. I will get you back okay?"
"Promise?"
I pulled him arms length and stared into his eyes. "I will never leave you, no matter what."
After a moment of saying goodbye, I continued packing my few things then hid my bag behind the shelf where my medical books remained.
I helped mom do dinner and finished doing laundry as usual. I wasn't going to let them see through my plan. Not even mom.
We didn't eat although we were starving until Mike arrived. It was a rule he had made. He loved family times he said and forced us to eat until he was home.
It was ten past nine and my stomach was churning in hunger when he stepped inside. He could barely walk and talk. His words were a complete slur.
"Honey, you are home," mom welcomed him. She ran to his side and helped him sit on the sofa. I looked up from the magazine to see him looking at me.
"I won a sweater. Gambling does bring good things. It's for you." He threw the black plastic bag at me and I flinched when it touched my arm.
"Aren't you going to say thanks? It's cashmere."
I forced a smile as I opened the bag. I had a collection of them in my bag. It was the only valuable thing coming from him that I was planning to take.
"Thanks Mike. Looks good."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "What ya' cook? I am starving."
"Lasagna."
He hummed in approval. "Jake! come help me. Amanda serve me!" he ordered and waited for everyone to do what he just said.
We sat around and started eating. Mom's eyes still wore a dull black bruise and the top of her lip was already closing.
No one spoke except for him. He laughed at his own drunk jokes and got mad when he spoke of something unpleasant from 'work'.
Dinner was over and Jake and I decided to go to our room before he started with one of his tantrums. I needed to walk good if I wanted to be far away by sunrise.
His loud snore was the only thing audible by the time the lights went off. I waited for a few minutes to pass by then decided it was time to leave.
"Don't worry." I kissed Jake on his forehead. "I will be back."
We exchanged one last hug and off I went. Jake's dog chain hung around my neck. He gave me this so I wouldn't forget about him. Not that I could. He was the only one I had truly loved and no distance or time would ever erase that from my memory.
The sky changed from black to orange up on the horizon. I'd reach the most popular side where tourists were up early in the morning and where traffic never slept.
I was far from home, yet not far from Mike. He was a bad man and bad men had bad links everywhere.
When my stomach churned I opened the bag and pulled out a biscuit. I just needed energy to continue my journey. I didn't know where I was going but I was going up.
When my feet started hurting I paused by a shop where tourists were already sitting out of the restaurants having breakfast.
Life like this appeared beautiful and in a huge world like this no one suspected things happened to innocent people.
I suddenly shivered and turned to look back. There was a man sitting alone and drinking coffee. He staring right up at me.
I pulled out the stone from my tennis and put it back on. Without hesitation I started walking faster. It didn't feel right, something was wrong.
Right up ahead the people became less and that's where I decided to run. Run as fast as I could to hide.
I didn't realize how long I was running nor how far had I come. The location was confusing and the place looked isolated.
I looked around and there was no one. Like if earth had stopped producing people and I was standing here alone. Then, out of nowhere, a black van appeared behind me and swallowed me into it giving me no time to scream for help.