Cyborg Zombie Prophet Muhammad glowed his cybernetic eye red. Just as a bolt of energy erupted from it destined to incinerate the director's head, the missing Agent Hannah blinked into existence pulled him away just in time. She vanished as quick as she came, along with the director of UNCLE SAM and reappeared on the ground amongst Super Dick and the others.
Cyborg Zombie Prophet…Christ, I'm not saying that each and every time. The Prophet is talking, okay? When I say The Prophet is talking, I mean the half skeleton, half cyborg, resurrected final prophet of Allah.
The Prophet said, in Arabic, "The Hellfire is your residence, wherein you will remain except as Allah wills. Verily, your Lord is wise and knowing."
@totemdaddy69 growled, "we can't understand you, dude!"
The animal shifters words caught the ire of The Prophet. Super Dick hovered in the air to meet The Prophet at his level.
"Before this gets out of hand and we rake up a lot of property damage, how about we land, kick up our feet up, and talk about how a bunch of people created their own man made laws inside your religion and bastardized your teachings for their own personal gain."
"Are you a Prophet of Allah," he asked.
"I don't speak Arabic, buddy. But I heard you say Allah. Where I'm from, we just say God. You know, God the Father, the son, and The Holy Ghost? The Trinity? Jesus? Any of this ringing a bell?"
"Jesus? Adam, Abraham, Moses…"
"Hey, look at that! We're bridging this language barrier, you and me. You should sit down with my mom, she could talk to you all day about Jesus, and Lucifer for that matter."
The Prophet's eye glowed red.
"That's it, my creation," Doctor Divine whispered. "Rise up from your slumber and kill the greatest superhero of our time."
"What have you done, Divine," ManWolf yelled.
"I told you! I have resurrected the final prophet of Allah infused by genius and powered the blood of a God in his own right. And now, he will kill Super Dick, because he's programmed to think he is Lucifer. Let the battle of the century begin!"
A red photon beam blasted from The Prophet's eye and slammed into Super Dick's face sending him backwards, end over end until he slammed into a wall.
Before our main character could gather himself, The Prophet was already on him, slamming his robotic fist into his face. Between each destructive blow, Super Dick could hear the mechanical pieces of the resurrected Prophet working to do their job. He looked for them, didn't see anything, then he switched to x-ray vision. There they were, just under the reconstructed surface.
Super Dick placed a carefully laid eye blast of his own dead center of The Prophet's chest. With the fabricated skin gone, metal was exposed. Another eye blast, but nothing. He slammed his fist into the metal, and still nothing.
It was at that moment that Super Dick realized Doctor Divine had created this creature using the same material from those security shutters.
Super Dick laid another eye blast on The Prophet, this time at his legs. The force knocked him off balance and he attacked.
Our protagonist threw a left and right then grabbed his head and brought it directly into his knee. The strike sent The Prophet arching backwards. Super Dick grabbed him from underneath and drove his head as hard and as fast as he could into the floor.
As you can imagine, the floor exploded leaving a small crater big enough for the entire group to get in.
"Should we help," ManWolf asked.
"Nah," @totemdaddy69 replied.
"Allah sustain me," The Prophet grumbled, then slammed a large chunk of the damaged floor into the under jaw of Super Dick sending him flying over the heads of everyone else.
As Super Dick was twisting backwards, The Prophet caught up to him and blasted his face with another strike from his cybernetic eye. The eye blast completely changed Super Dick's trajectory and hurled him hard into the floor below.
The Prophet hung there in the air, glaring down at Super Dick as though he were nothing more than an ant. He opened his mouth and a swarm of nanites floated out. The cloud of microscopic nanites, numbering so large they could be seen by the naked eye, engulfed Super Dick.
"Uh oh," Tokyo Drift said, then he snagged a frag grenade from the belt of ManWolf and rushed over to Super Dick. He dropped the grenade in the center of the nanite storm. Seconds later, the grenade exploded destroying millions upon millions of nanites, but it was useless. There were too many.
It was then that The Prophet turned his gaze on the others and opened fire with his eye beam. The first strike hit @totemdaddy69. The pain had forced him to shift back to his human state. ManWolf was clipped next. The beam sliced off the wolfman's left arm like it was nothing. Blue blood sprayed Microchip. Don't worry about the wolf, his arm will grow back.
The next attack came for Microchip but once again in clutch, Agent Hannah suddenly appeared directly in front of the imp and performed several quick arm rotations in front of herself. A large blue shield formed and took the brunt of the blast. She touched the shield and it soaked back into her through her index finger.
Super Dick laid there, defeated, bloody, and useless. For the moment, the only thing he could move was his neck. Super Dick looked around and the first thing his eyes landed on was the Mountain Dew bottle Microchip used to rejuvenate him. He smiled, as though he were remembering something from his past, then stood up.
With whatever energy he could muster, he zoomed into the air and crashed into the lower back of The Prophet. The greatest Superhero in the world pushed through six walls, stopped suddenly, and threw him high into the inside of the dome located directly over the prayer hall.
Super Dick slammed a fist into his head, and another, then another, until The Prophet was propelled through the ceiling and into the sky outside the mosque for all the world to see. And they did see. News helicopters circled them at a safe distance.
Super Dick hit him again and again, so many times that the blows were beginning to bloody his knuckles. All the while, the remaining nanites were still swarming him. They hurt, hurt like fire, but they weren't drawing blood anywhere that he could see.
Super Dick ignored the pain. He ignored the danger of his impending death and grabbed The Prophet by the top of his head. His eyes burned green and two massive blasts slammed The Prophet between the eyes.
His screams could be heard for miles. Not The Prophet. Super Dick. He was the one screaming, calling forth whatever measure of strength he had and forced it all through his eyes. Whatever skin and muscle Doctor Divine had regrown was just burned to ash, exposing the skull of a man fused together by metal plates and rivets.
When Super Dick was done, all that was left of The Prophet was a metal husk where metallic shoulders were fused with bone. His legs were a mixture of bone and metal attached to his cybernetic chassis. Yet, even with all that damage Super Dick had delivered, the metal appeared unharmed.
The Prophet Muhammad hung there, confused, wondering where he was.
"Where am I," The Prophet asked. It was in Arabic, but this time the destruction done by Super Dick's eye's had damaged something, and his voice sounded like a mixture of a man's voice combined with something robotic.
"We're in California. Cloud City, California. United States of America."
"Mecca?"
"Club Mecca is on Duval Boulevard. I don't think that's the Mecca you're talking about though."
Super Dick noticed something. The Prophet had nodded his head no. He floated closer.
"Can you understand what I'm saying?"
The Prophet nodded his head yes.
"Microchip? Can you hear me?"
"Loud and clear, Super Dick. Where are you? You okay?"
"This guy is understanding me now. How is that possible?"
"Some sort of adaptive technology is all I can assume."
"Right, okay then." Super Dick said, then spoke to The Prophet again.
"You've been dead for a long time, buddy."
"Dead…ages."
"You can speak English now, I think Microchip was right."
"Why hast though forsaken me, Allah?"
"It wasn't Allah that did this to you. You can thank Doctor Divine. His first name is Alfred. The guy that brought you back to life is named Alfred. That's a slap in the face, right? It is to me."
The Prophet floated higher into the sky, with the clouds, and Super Dick followed.
The Prophet exhaled, "Cali-fornia?"
"Yeah. It's a beautiful place, I recommend staying out of the cities though, unless you want catch a staph infection from all the shit on the street."
"Shit?"
"You know, the stuff that comes from here," Super Dick pointed at his own backside.
"Truly? Who does this?"
"The homeless."
"What…year?"
"Two thousand twenty one."
"I can see structures pierce the heavens. Carriages on the roads…"
"Cars…trucks too. Vans, buses, gas and electric."
A long pause grew between them while The Prophet drifted around the vicinity of Super Dick while getting better views of the landscape.
"This eye that is not mine…I can see things, so far away. Children playing…machines flying…murder…of the unborn and born alike. Mosque's and Synagogue's. Tell me, what kind of world is this?"
"I imagine it's about the same as when you left it, only with internet. We still kill over nothing and wars are waged over religion and resources."
"This world…" The Prophet started.
"Could probably use you."
"No…what this world needs is Allah, not an abomination. This world…it is not meant for me and I am not meant for it."
"Hey, don't go saying that."
The Prophet lifted his mechanical hand and glared at it. "This is no longer my body. Even as I speak, I know my thoughts are no longer my true thoughts."
"How do you know that?"
"I am being told to murder you, yet I do not know why. I do not know you. And although the one eye I do have is not mine, I can clearly see your heart, and it is just."
"Every soul…shall taste death. If I cannot die by your hand, wielding the might of Allah himself, then I know what must be done. Will you deliver my remains, my true remains, to Mecca?"
"You have my word."
The Prophet rammed his fist through his chest, bursting a hole dead center.
"La ilaha illal-lah."
The Prophet chanted that saying over and over as he wrenched his insides. Blood came forth, Super Dick's drained blood.
The Prophet ripped out a device from inside his body, a six inch clear tube that held a substance inside that seemed to hold its own galaxies inside it.
"La ilaha...illal-lah," The Prophet muttered once more, then his cybernetic eye turned black and he fell from the sky.
When Super Dick returned to the others on the ground, he arrived in the middle of an army of Agent Montana's and Hannah's investigating the structure. The body of Director Hush was being loaded onto a hover gurney. Doctor Divine had already been apprehended and taken to UNCLE SAM headquarters.
"I will not comply," Agent Hannah shouted at several of her clone sisters. The Agent Hannah shouting is the one that had been the mole inside Eco Redesign.
"You must," One of the pant suit wearing Agent Hannah's told her. "You are of us, and of father, your place is among your family."
"I told you why I can't come back with you," the former mole, Agent Hannah replied.
"What's going on here," Super Dick asked.
ManWolf approached, fumbling to reattach his severed arm and said, "Mole Agent Hannah doesn't want to go back with UNCLE SAM for some reason."
"Thanks for nothing, wolfie," Super Dick snapped. "Why don't you want to go back?"
"I want to stay and fight evil, by your side, Super Dick. Had they been here to help father would still be alive. But my sister's stupid rules…"
"They aren't our rules," Agent Hannah told her wayward sister. "They are father's wishes."
"And father was wrong!"
"Are we talking about Director Hush," Super Dick asked.
"We are all clones of Director Hush's original daughters who died when they were young. Our sister is angry because we didn't help in this matter. We didn't help because after our last outing to stop the Cancel Culture Creature, father forbade it. When it came to us, death was unimaginable for him. Therefore we will honor our father's wish and refrain from assisting amidst danger for the rest of our lives."
Super Dick said, "so a bunch of super powered clones are going to become pacifists? And what? When the heavy lifting is done, you're going to come in and clean up the mess?"
"That's exactly what they are going to do," the former mole Hannah told him.
"And you're not down with that," Super Dick asked her.
"Hell no," she replied.
"Cool, you can come home with me and Microchip. She's coming home with us," Super Dick told the defiant UNCLE SAM agents.
One Week Later…
"Thank you for tuning in. One week after the disaster at Cinder Forest, word has reached us that Doctor Alfred Divine has been put to death by a top secret UNCLE SAM tribunal. While many rail against the thought that The Prophet Muhammad was brought back to life, millions of Muslim's have taken to the streets to protest and some riot. Police across the world are overwhelmed. Superhero's have stepped in to assist. In other topics today, the FRIENDS reunion was too white."
Microchip turned off the television on the wall behind his computers and spun around in his chair. Super Dick had entered the room when he heard the sparks popping. Their new friend blinked into existence next to them.
The orange sparks merged into a portal and two agents crossed through, Montana and Hannah. The portal closed directly after.
"To what emergency do we owe this surprise," Microchip asked.
"No emergency," Agent Montana replied. "You can consider this our final debrief over the recent Doctor Divine incursion. "
"And we have final matters to discuss with our Hannah," Agent Hannah said.
"Before all that," Agent Montana stated, "per Director Hush's will, Captain North America has taken over as director of operations for UNCLE SAM. You will also be interested to know that we have identified the material that you were unable to damage, Super Dick. It was a unique and adaptive metal, and it was alive. We have named this metal Dickish Metal."
"I don't like that. Change that," Super Dick said.
"Alive," Microchip scoffed. "What do you mean, alive?"
"The metal was sentient," Agent Hannah replied. "It thinks. It feels. It reacts. And Doctor Divine created it."
"Unbelievable," Microchip said.
"Chronologicus is still missing," Agent Montana added.
A weird silence grew between them.
"Well," Super Dick said, "is that all?
"Hannah," Agent Hannah started. "Your family has agreed to allow you to stay and work with Super Dick and Microchip."
"I didn't need your approval, but whatever."
"One condition is non-negotiable, however," the agent continued. "Your being here is a security breech. In order for this to work, you must agree to disconnect yourself from the clone synchronicity. In doing so, you will no longer be a part of our family, and if you die, your experiences and knowledge will be gone forever. Do you accept?"
"Hell yes," she replied.
"Very well. Goodbye, Hannah."
Agent Montana fiddled with her wrist device and the portal sparked to life.
"My name isn't Hannah anymore. It's Blink."
Agents Montana and Hannah crossed over into UNCLE SAM headquarters and the portal closed immediately.
"Blink," Super Dick asked. "Cool name."
Yes, yes. Cool name, blah, blah, and blah! I can't win for losing. I was the one that kept Super Dick from receiving the emails from the Institute of Psychopath's and I was the one that gave the knowledge to Doctor Divine so that he could defeat Super Dick. And they are multiplying?
I could blink Blink out of existence, but where is the fun in that? I could removed Microchip from this entire story, but where is the fun in that? I will have my fun…and I will have Super Dick's head.