I got in. I wish this elevator could take me higher than it's supposed to. Far away so I don't have to worry about anything. The doors opened, bringing me back to reality. I took out my keys from my bag and went inside.
"Hey, you're home!" Gwen shouted as she jumped over the couch and ran to me for a hug in her pajamas. "Hey," I said, hugging her back and closing the door. "Hi!" Ella said in a singing voice.
"I thought you were having dinner with Trevor," Ella said with a confused look on her face as she paused their episode. "Yeah, that didn't happen. I guess Gwen got you into TVD?" I asked. Finally, now we can watch it all together.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Guys, I really don't want to talk about it," I said.
"Did you guys have dinner already?" I asked. And as if just on time, there was a knocking on the door.
"That's probably the pizza," Gwen said. It was tradition. Whenever we were both home and done with our assignments, we were awarded with pizza and TVD. "I'll get it!" I said. I am really hungry.
I opened the door. "We're not done with this discussion," Trevor said as he came in. Soaking wet.
"Hey! You can't just come storming in here. What the hell, Trevor!"
He turned around to face me. When he wanted to say something, he noticed Ella and Gwen. And then it became incredibly awkward here. I wish I was invisible.
"Maybe we should give them the room," I heard Gwen say.
"Yes, thank y-"
"No! Stay right there!" I demanded.
"Amabel, we need to talk about this," Trevor said. Ella and Gwen started moving really slow. I knew they were trying to escape to Gwen's room. "I said stay put!" I said pointing a finger at them.
"You," I said pointing at him, "Get out! Get out now!"
"No! I'm not leaving until we've talked this through. Alone. In private." I hate it when he is so demanding. What's making me more furious is the fact of how fucking hot he looks right now. His hair is wet and dripping and he's demanding.
"Amabel, go talk to him," Gwen said.
"Fine!" I am so frustrated and stormed into my room with Trevor close. When we were both in my room, he threw the door closed. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.
He took off his blazer and threw it carelessly on the floor, ripping his tie loose. He pulled it off in frustration and threw it. "Look, I don't know what you want me to do."
"I don't want you to do anything. I want you. I want to be someone to you. Not just a girl," I said. He didn't interrupt. Maybe he knew I was right.
"And I already told you, I don't do the 'girlfriend' thing!" Did he just yell at me?
"And I already told you, that I don't understand why the hell not!"
"Fuck! Amabel, what do you want?" he shouted.
"You know what I want, Trevor. I just told you. I want you! And if that's not clear, then maybe you should just leave so that I can be with someone who actually wants me! I'm done with your bullshit!" That's it! Get it all out, Amabel.
"Fuck no! I won't let anyone near you. You are mine! You want me? Fine! Have me!" he said, holding his arms out to the side.
"Make up your fucking mind, Trevor! Yes, I want you! But not like this. You don't want me as your girlfriend. And if you don't then maybe we should stop seeing each other. Because I don't want scraps anymore. I want all of you. You with your sudden change of attitude, your mood swings and even your fucking arrogance. This is what it is to be a grown up. I hate it when your attitude changes and you treat me like shit."
"Dammit Amabel! I'm not ready!" he yelled, taking me roughly by the shoulders. "Okay? I'm not ready..." he said, calming down.
"Not ready for what? To be in a relationship?" I asked softly.
"Yes. The commitment. It scares me. I've slept with a lot of girls and none of them wanted me for me. I've fallen for each of them, only to find out later that they cheated on me. They were after my money. But you. You just want me. And that scares me."
"Why? Why does it scare you? I'm here," I said and placed my palm on his chest.
"For how long? How long until you leave me?" he asked, falling to his knees. I joined him on my knees.
"What are you talking about? I can't leave a place I've never been in. And I don't want to leave you. Even if I wanted to, I can't. I am drawn to you like nothing else before. I want to tear out every woman's eyes just for looking at you. I want to kill every woman that broke your heart. I want to be here for you. I want you to show me your demons so that I can help you fight them. Show me your fears and we'll face them together. Show me your scars, I want to heal them."
He looked down. "Hey," I whispered as I cupped his cheek, tears forming in my eyes.
"I know there's something more. Something you're not telling me. What are you afraid of?" I asked. He didn't answer. He didn't look at me. "Forget it..." he said, standing up, taking his blazer and tie and leaving me there. He closed the door and didn't even look back. And then, I let the tears fall.
When I heard the front door close, more came pouring down my face. "Amabel? Please, open the door," Gwen said and kept knocking. "Bells?"