Sakura welcomed me back with open arms! I don't know what this overwhelming feeling was? It was something surreal. And that too, from her of all people to do such a thing. Even though we gave ourselves some space, the space was too intimidating. I wanted to close the gap, but I was mindful of the space we had taken.
I replied back to her.
"I'M HOME!"
And with that, I was finally back. But this time, it had a different feeling. This house had a refreshing feeling to it. Maybe, it wasn't the house. It definitely was. If anything, it was all because of her.
"You were going out, right? Sorry to barge in on your plans out of nowhere, and now ruining your look."
"No, it's fine. To be honest, I didn't check my phone for the past few days, so I checked today, and when I did, I was aware of the fact that you were getting discharged. At that moment, I just rushed to get you home, and here we are."
I raised my arm, and slowly placed it near her face, and held it under her chin, trying to rest her face on my palm.
"You're a mess!"
She was slowly sobbing but trying her hardest to control her tears.
"Can you blame me?"
"I'm sorry!"
"It's going to take much more than that."
"I know! I know...I know..."
I slowly moved towards her, and she slowly took a few steps back.
And then, her back hit the wall, and she had nowhere to go. I stepped in closer, so close that we could feel each other's breath.
"I know, that's why I will make it up to you. Until you're satisfied. And even after you are, I will still make it up to you."
"There's no going back if we're going to cross this line."
"I'm fully aware of that."
I no longer wanted to talk.
This time, I went for the kiss. And this time, it was deep. Much deeper. And even she returned back my passionate feelings. And we picked up the pace. Slowly, I lifted her up, with her back against the wall, she wrapped her legs around me. This was not what I had in mind. But somehow, I wanted time to stop. Right at this moment.
What was our relationship now? I don't know.
Are things going to be the same after this? I don't know.
Do I love Sakura? Maybe? I don't know.
Could I not survive without Sakura? Possibly not. Maybe? I don't know.
I don't know...I don't know...I don't know...
But right now, everything faded away. It'd like, in the midst of that dark world I resided in, for the first time, there was a light that shone upon the entire world. I wanted to cherish this moment. This moment of weakness. This moment of weakness I had submitted myself to.
I slowly pulled her hairband, and let her hair loose.
Was it infatuation? Was it a crush? Was it just admiration? Or was it love?
I had no clue whatsoever.
And slowly, after a certain time, we stopped and pulled back. This time, for good.
We couldn't look each other in the eye.
"I'm going for the bath."
"Don't worry, I won't join you."
"I wasn't counting on it! I know that was a one-time offer!"
"When did I say that?"
"Never mind!"
I headed straight for the bath. I put my clothes in the washer. But I held on to her hairband. I went and immersed myself in my adequately comfortable bathtub. I started at the familiar ceiling and sighed.
Why had things gotten so complicated? Where did it all go wrong? I started to think about some non-sensical stuff. Sakura might have been bold upfront, but even now, she was just trying to be strong. She was trying her best to be dependable. And that I admire of her, and at the same time, hate about her. Why wouldn't she just be honest? Or am I overthinking stuff? No, I wasn't. I couldn't be. After all, I knew she was trembling.
Was it fear? Was it guilt? I don't know.
Speak to me! Sakura!
I was disappointed with myself. The fact that I was so unreliable. To think I'd bring her to such a state, I despised myself. I placed those beliefs. The belief that she would avoid me, hate me, not care about me. That she would be strong enough to deal with this nonsense. But all this while, she was locked up inside her room, bare ate anything, and was a wreck. Was that what happened with Rinko-san and Yuki-nee over months of me remaining in a coma? I couldn't even begin to comprehend what hell they must have been through. But that was something I could only think of. And this was something that was right in front of my eyes.
Miku and Sakura. To think that their lives actually revolved around mine and that they would be so devastated when I collapsed. It was a tough pill to swallow. If that's the case with them, I wonder what would Yuki-nee must have been going through?
Well, that's a whole other topic, so I'm not interested in it for now. Meanwhile, a shadow appeared near the door.
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"You're creeping me out!"
"That's quite amusing. Especially coming from you of all people."
"Thank you for the praises. So, you want to join me?"
"Every day's not your lucky day."
"Quite strange. Especially considering the heartfelt and mouth-watering welcome I had received a few moments ago."
"Well, consider that as a lucky strike."
"I was certain that unhooked your bra."
"What?"
She suddenly started to move her hands behind her back. I could clearly see the shadow from the translucent door.
"Haha! Just kidding!"
"Nao! You idiot! Just die..."
"With pleasure!"
"No, don't!"
She suddenly opened the door. She was concerned for a moment, but then...
"Is that...my hairband?"
"Yes."
"Why do you have it?"
"Well. Since I can't have you accompany me, atleast I thought this would be a worthy replacement. I must say, your choice of conditioner is so damn good!"
"From when were you such a simpleton?"
ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME?