"I really like you Naofumi."
A confession?
Surely it can't be.
I can't get ahead.
Though it doesn't affect me either way.
"Uhm!Thanks."
That was a dumb reply, which even I wouldn't want to hear if I was on the other side.
I don't know what to do honestly.
I mean, I don't know anything about Michiru. She a bombshell of beauty, and she surely knows how to use a situation to the fullest, that's all I know of her.
I don't what kind of person she is, her hobbies, interests, desires, and other stuff.
Plus, I'm making sure that the number of people I'm involved with is less so that they wouldn't suffer in the long run. That's why I just cut ties with Yuki-nee and made sure that we are strangers from now on. So, it would be wrong of me to just give Michiru a different treatment.
The boyfriend-girlfriend act is something that has come to fruition due to the circumstances at school. So I don't have to be her real boyfriend. I mean look at her, she's a princess from a higher society, while I'm just a normal guy with a lot of issues in my hand. It would be too cruel of me to burden her with it.
I looked at Michiru. She was happy after hearing my reply.
That's strange.
"I was really worried since that was my first confession."
Why did she have to choose me? Is this what regret feels like?
"I know since this is out of context, but which is the real you? I mean you're so cute, innocent, kind, and caring to me, but at school and even to Harumi-senpai, you're the complete opposite."
She just had a playful smile, while covering her lips with her finger.
"A SECRET MAKES A WOMAN, WOMAN!"
She whispered.
That is a line I can never forget. Even for a guy like me, if I was to say that there was one woman I admired, like how people say the first crush, then it was that woman who quoted this iconic dialogue.
VERMOUTH!
Even though she's a fictional character from the Meitantei Conan series, and her role was limited, I was left wanting more from her. No one could hold a candle to her.
And this girl used it against me. Damn!
That caught me off-guard, and she noticed it.
"Why are you so quiet? Silver bullet!"
She was clearly enjoying it.
The only other woman who could leave me speechless was Rinko-san. And that would always give me vibes of danger. Here it's different for some reason.
"Tch! You know I'm not on that level."
"Certainly, not on the level of Edogawa-Kun, but maybe, if I must say, you're almost on par with Akai."
"Well, if you're my girlfriend then, I'd be left with emptiness at the end."
"But, in this story, the end will be different."
"I hope your wish will be fulfilled."
Wait a minute! I was supposed to limit myself to a make-believe boyfriend role. Why am I getting close to her? She's just pulling me in.
"Were you thinking of limiting our relationship to just a pretense at school?"
That was sudden.
She sighed.
"Do you think pushing away and staying in solitude would favor you?"
"Nope."
"Then, why?"
Why? A question that's so easy to ask but difficult to answer.
But that was something I was always bombarded with.
So it wasn't that hard to answer.
"Well, it's simple. There would be less collateral damage, as my whole existence is the epitome of a train wreck. And why does someone need to suffer for your mistakes?"
Think about it. If you were being mocked in your class and always alone because of your own choice, but then someone decides to join you and be your friend, why would they also be mocked and even targeted to the extent of sometimes being bullied because they're associated with you?
The world will always try to pull you down one way or the other.
That's why there's a term that exists, and it's not just because of coincidence.
LONE WOLF!
You have to hone yourself to be alone in this wild jungle irrespective of what the conditions are.
That's how you can survive.
She thought about it for a moment.
"I see. That's true. The world's a cruel place, and in one way or another, we will always be connected to a person who will get hurt eventually."
Finally, someone who agrees with me.
"That being said, even if you don't have a bond with everyone else, they still have a bond with you, so they'll be dragged in and get hurt eventually. You can't stop someone from getting hurt by your actions. That's how it is."
I was stunned.
It's not that I never thought about that. But hearing it from someone else is really convincing, dare I say.
"So, if you ask me, I think it's not a bad thing that they have to suffer for your actions if they believe in you and want to be with you."
A resounding answer.
That's a first for me.
That being said...
"Would you? Suffer for my mistakes?"
It's a foolish question to ask someone when it's the first time you're just having a conversation with and building a relationship, and understanding that person.
But that being said, I guess even a guy in my condition could sometimes be bewildered by a girl.
"Of course! Without a doubt."
That was totally out of my realm of expectation.
I never expected her to say this without a slight hesitation.
"And you'll never get annoyed of that or abandon me?"
I need to revolt as much as I can.
"I will get annoyed and I will abandon you if you don't change."
No good. She's hitting back hard.
"Will you accept all of me, my flaws, and my weaknesses?"
She placed her forehead over mine and giggled.
"Dummy! Of course."
"Why?"
"It's because I like you, isn't it obvious? But I'm pretty sure it's more than like..."
Realizing what she said, she was embarrassed.
That's it.
I give up.
She's just too good.
And I'm starting to slowly understand her.
"This sounds like a wedding proposal."
I chuckled.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. But I'm looking forward to that day."
Would such a day exist? Is it truly an end befitting of me?
I wonder.
"Why did you feel I'm cutting you off?"
"Why?"
She gripped my hand tighter.
"I guess you could say that I just felt you're locking yourself in a dark room without any light or sound, and leaving everything behind. The thought of such a sight scared me. I didn't like that, and I don't think you deserve that."
This time, I gripped her hand tight.
That place felt so familiar, but I wasn't alone.
I would always hear a voice.
Calm down.
Calm down.
"Nao, Nao!"
"Huh?"
I was lost.
"Are you fine? Do I need to call Harumi-sensei?"
"No, no. I'm fine."
"You gave me a scare there, Nao."
"Nao? I can clearly see that we have made a lot of progress."
This girl, she's really something.
Shee was enjoying this.
"Yes. Nao's perfect. That's what I'm calling you from now."
"Fine."
"What about me?"
"What about you?"
She pouted.
Did I offend her or something? Give me a hint. A hint. I'm bad at this stuff.
Let's go back a bit.
Agh! I get it. It's about the name, isn't it?
I cleared my throat.
"Miku!"
I exclaimed.
She was surprised as she turned towards me.
"Miku?"
"Miku!"
"Why?"
"I like that name. It's cute. And so are you. A perfect match!"
She was so shy, after hearing that she started pulling my cheek hard.
"Ow, ow, ow! Hey, that hurts! Why?"
"How can you say something so cheesy just like that."
"I just said what was true."
"Again! Agh! I don't like it."
"Ok, this will be the last time then."
"No!"
"Make up your mind, please!"
"I said I don't like it. I didn't say you to stop it."
She was flustered as she said that.
"Miku!"
"What?"
"I like you. You're super cute."
She was super embarrassed hearing it, that she had enough of it.
"Agh! That's it. I'm going. You're clearly fine now."
She turned her face away but still held my hand tight.
"Stop joking around. I don't like it."
"Joke? Who's joking. I'm serious."
"If you say so."
Now she's bent her head down and hiding her face from me.
That's cute.
"You seem to know Harumi-sensei very well."
"I regularly have my check-up done under his guidance."
"Hmm...So, do you know about my condition then?"
I looked at her with eyes with the eyes of a predator ready to strike its prey.
I didn't want her to lie. But why? Why was I wishing her not to lie to me?
She was quiet for a moment.
She pulled her hand away from me, got up from her seat.
I guess all of this was an act. Good riddance!
Or so I thought.
But she sat right next to me.
She lifted my head and placed it on her lap.
A Lap Pillow!
I'm hitting milestones.
Wait! I can't get distracted.
She rubbed her hand gently over my head and answered.
I was starting to feel a bit drowsy.
She kissed my forehead and just stayed like that.
This felt nostalgic.
"Will that change your opinion of me?"
"Nope."
"Then, I guess it wouldn't matter."
"I guess so."
I couldn't stay awake anymore.
I fell asleep.
...
"So he's asleep?"
"Harumi-sensei? Uhm... I don't think I need to explain this."
"Yes, I can see that clearly."
"He's endured a lot."
"Yes, he did. This is nostalgic."
"Hmmm....."
"It feels like yesterday, even though it's been 10 years. Seeing you both like that reminds me of when you were just kids."
"Yes, it still feels like yesterday."
"It must hurt you right. Being totally forgotten. After all, you were the one who used to play with him the most, when he would tag along with me for work."
"He didn't completely forget me."
"What do you mean?"
"Miku! He called me with that name, on his own."
"Really?!"
" Yes. When I first met him, he would call me Miku because Michiru was hard for him to remember, and he would always cry when Aunt Rinko wasn't around. But, we started to get along, and soon would start playing with each other every day. My father was always busy with his work, and since you and my mother were friends at work, she would often drop me off here, while conducting her duty as a surgeon. hated it at first, until I met him. He would always fall asleep on my lap, just like this, after having a lot of fun. I looked forward to that every day."
"But that day, when you were running along with that stretcher with blood on your body, and then my mom performing the surgery while you were watching her, I didn't know what was going on. Later, when I saw it was Nao who was asleep on the bed with those dressing on his head, and the wires on his body, I cried a lot."
"It took me a while to understand what happened. But then, every day I would come by and speak to him and lay him on my lap, hoping that he would be awake. I saw what happened with his mom and Aunt Rinko. It was scary, that I wanted to stay by him and protect him. But he wouldn't respond how much ever I tried."
"And on that day, when I cried out for the first time in front of him because I was feeling lonely without him he suddenly woke up. I was really happy. I ran and called you, and waited by the door to surprise him. But it was he who surprised me."
"He just. forgot everything. I couldn't stop crying as I ran towards my mom and held her tight, and never returned here. I was just afraid to face him, and accept that he had forgotten me. I ran away, as far as I could."
"And after all these years later, he meets me as a total stranger and yet, became my boyfriend, and yet again, tried to sever his ties with me. After all that, now he's sleeping peacefully on my lap, as usual, ironic, isn't it?"
"If that's the case, shouldn't you be happy? And yet, why is it that you're crying now?"
"Because I'm just a bad and selfish girl. Even though he's Nao and he's finally with me, he's not the Nao I once knew. And thought alone is what's making me cry."
"Then why do you keep hurting yourself? Why can't you just move on?"
" Because that's my choice. And I promised that I'll never abandon him again."
"Why? Why would you go that far?"
"Isn't it obvious Harumi-sensei?"It's painful to be forgotten by someone, especially when that person means a lot to you. And I don't want to go through that pain ever again. That's why, I will be the girl he met now and will hold him close to me, like his girlfriend, and protect him."
"BECAUSE HE'S MY FIRST LOVE!"